A Secret For Life Success: Personality Outweighs Physical Appearance Every-time

CONFIDENCE BUILDING AND A SUCCESS HABIT

A dominant aspect of contemporary life is the preoccupation with physical appearance. We employ our phones to take selfies, and television advertisements diligently strive to convince us that we can enhance our appearance with their products. The truth is, the only steps you can take to improve your physical appearance are maintaining cleanliness, practicing good grooming, and dressing well — these aspects are indeed important. Apart from that, we are stuck with the physical traits inherited from our family lineage.

As far back as I can remember, I was constantly concerned about my physical appearance. The irony is that I have no unusual physical features. However, I was a serious introvert and therein lay the issue. My childhood and teenage years were marred by struggles with introversion. I was so shy that I could barely speak in a group setting. Unfortunately, I lacked a mentor who could guide me in overcoming my introversion. I was trapped in a cycle of reinforcement. It was only when I became a taxi driver that I began to break free from the constraints of severe introversion.

During my time as a cab driver, I started to notice the positive responses from people when I was outgoing. This is what I mean by reinforcement. If I was friendly and outgoing, people responded to me in a similar manner. This reinforced my outgoing behavior, and I started to change. People who are overly concerned about their physical appearance often stifle their personalities. It becomes a vicious cycle of reinforcement. Their negative self-image draws negative responses from others, further reinforcing their self-doubt.

For many years, I have been acquainted with a woman who has successfully overcome physical limitations through her personality. We are not close friends; our interactions are limited to the level of exchanging pleasantries like, “How are you today?” I have been fascinated by her daily interactions with people. She has some form of medical condition and is overweight. Her hair can only be described as greasy, and she is far from being a snappy dresser. Initially, I felt sorry for her, assuming that her life must be challenging due to these physical drawbacks.

Over time, I realized that my sympathy was misplaced. She is a successful individual in her interactions with people. She possesses a direct and almost authoritative personality. She cares little about how people respond to her and is unafraid to express her opinions in conversations. Consequently, she has forged friendships with customers at the shop where she works and is respected by her employers for making a valuable contribution to the business.

I have been captivated by her example of how personality can triumph over physical shortcomings, and I believe anyone can do the same. It merely requires persistent practice. By striving to elicit positive responses from others, you will reinforce that behavior and gradually change. I often think of the comedian Billy Connolly. Early photos of him depict an angry, aggressive, and unhappy man. However, years of people laughing at his jokes (reinforcement) transformed him into a jovial individual. I once saw him walking along the streets of Melbourne, Australia, early one morning, with a cheerful expression and chuckling to himself.

Personality conquers physical limitations every time. It is crucial to prove this to yourself through practice. Don’t expect perfection; it may take time to work, but eventually, you will break free from the obsession with your physical appearance, and your life will become more enjoyable.