A Prescription For A Restless Heart

How I overcome the villains in my mind

A few thoughts from my morning pages:

Forgive me, Lord,

my mind has been

far from you.

Burned out.

Stressed.

Depressed.

Off course.

All should pull me

to your grace.

Nothing else.

I read a couple of Psalms — Psalm 20, 21, and 22 — seeking to hear God’s voice from David’s heart to give me a word to sustain me today.

David’s words described my mind:

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?

My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”

— Psalm 22: 1- 2

They say if you feel far from God — it’s not Him that’s moved.

It’s you, and that’s true in my life.

I kept connecting with David’s words:

“Roaring lions that tear their prey open their mouths wide against me.

I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.

My heart has turned to wax; it has melted with me.

— Psalm 22: 13–14

Does you heart feel like it’s been turned to wax?

Mine has the past few days.

Like someone has blown out the light.

So I read to find a word of inspiration.

Something to lift me out of the gunk.

David’s words described my heart to a T:

“Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me;

they pierce my hands and my feet.

All my bones are on display; people and stare and gloat over me.

They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.”

Psalm 16–18

Incidentally, David’s words are a prophecy of Jesus on the cross, but they also described how my thoughts have been like a pack of villains.

Haunting me.

My mind has been my own enemy.

My thoughts waring against me.

Pulling me down wrong paths.

To hopeless solutions.

And then I read this:

“But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.” — Psalm 22:19

“You are my strength” spoke deeply to me.

It was the word I needed to hear.

The truth I needed to remember.

It lifted the gloom covering my mind.

I felt reconnected to myself and God.

I felt hope in my spirt.

External struggles may still be present in my life, but this thought strengthened my mind.

And I plan to carry it with me as a reminder.

Sometimes, I wonder why I write on Medium. I’ve been thinking often of quitting lately. Doing something else with my time.

Then I read a story that speaks to my heart.

I hope this story is like that for you.

I figure I am not the only one with a restless heart.

We’re all struggling with different villains.

So slow down and take care of you today.

Do something that nurtures yourself.

Kick your villains in the balls.

I hope this story provides a ray of hope.