A Pandemic’s Lesson in Connectivity

Everything is contagious — and what a blessing that is.

It might seem counter-intuitive to say that social distancing is proving how closely we are all connected. The very fact that we have closed schools and are being asked to stay home is a testament to how intricately woven human beings are. How contagious, you might say.

Every single thing we do affects others. Every single thing.

Just sending our kids to school could cause this disease to spiral even further out of control than it already has. A touch between two people with no symptoms, one who happens to be a carrier, could infect the other. A sneeze, never welcomed by a bystander, now holds so much more peril.

We know this. We’ve always known this, before coronavirus hit, but we struggle to process the true weight of this knowledge. How do we respond? Do we become germophobes? Do we simply stop caring because we know there’s little we can do?

It is daunting. The responsibility of this can be terrifying, as we are currently learning.

And yet, there is a miracle in this, too. There is beauty and hope alongside the scariness.

Our words matter

Do you ever think about how contagious our words are? I often remember my sophomore geometry teacher, who constantly called me “stupid” and “idiot” in front of my entire class and I still remember his words thirty years later. I also remember how scared all the other students were every time he said that, knowing they could be his next target, knowing his vitriol could spread.

The easiest example of the way our words can go viral is the internet, of course. Look at how one tweet can spread to thousands — even millions — of people. It might inspire. It might incense. It might get people thinking. It might make them smile.

Unfortunately, we don’t tend to practice temperance with our words. Our emotions often take over and we speak from our feelings, which isn’t always the best course of action. We especially react quickly on social media, an action that has far-reaching repercussions — repercussions that we don’t often even see or realize.

What if we were to measure the impact of just one statement we made online? I guarantee it would have far-reaching effects that we would never have imagined.

Every gesture connects us

Not long ago, when I was feeling blue and lonely and standing wearily in line at the post office, the woman behind me said, “Honey! I love your jacket! In fact, I love your whole outfit! You look like a little French girl!”

It literally felt like my whole world had shifted on its axis. Sun came through the clouds. I felt happy. Connected.

Not because she liked my outfit or because I suddenly felt cute and pretty, but because a stranger reached out in kindness.

When I was a kid, and my father worked as a sales manager for my grandfather’s company, he used to go into the warehouse every single morning and say hello to each person who worked there. When we decided to move out of state, Grandpa threw a party at the office to say goodbye to him and every single person from the warehouse showed up with a gift. One of them whispered to me, “Your dad made me feel like I mattered every single day.” I was only 11 years old, but I understood the impact he had made just by taking the time to greet everyone by name.

Many years later, after I left my last desk job, in the months that followed I received many texts and emails from coworkers telling me how much they missed me and “my corner.” Each one of them told me that my beautifully decorated space and all my plants had always made them feel so peaceful and that my kindness was a balm on the office. I did nothing but strive to bring beauty and compassion into the office with me, even on the days when I felt like crap. But that’s all it took to make an impact.

Smiles are contagious. Laughter is contagious. A compliment is contagious. An act of kindness is contagious. A wink. A nudge. A hug.

Self-love is communicable

Our culture pushes us to strive, pushes us to achieve, makes us feel like we should go-go-go. The more we do, the more rewards we will reap, right?

Actually, the answer is no. Instead we end up exhausted, overworked, overtired, over-stressed, and often bitter, frustrated, or angry. And for what? Very little is worth the price we pay for overdoing.

But when someone — a woman, in particular — stops to take care of herself, that act can be revolutionary.

Last summer, a friend of mine came to stay with me for a few days. This woman is the most powerful, successful woman I know who wears not one “boss” hat, but three. She takes leadership to a whole new level.

Though she woke up early and worked in the bedroom every single morning, she would spend a significant amount of time in the bathroom getting ready. She wasn’t putting on makeup or doing her hair — she was soaking her feet in an herbal bath, giving herself a sugar scrub, using a treatment on her hair, and using not one, but two deep moisturizing treatments on her skin.

“How often do you do this routine?” I asked her later, out of curiosity and awe, being a person who barely wants to spend time trimming her toenails, let alone applying lotion.

“Every day,” she said.

Every day?

I was floored. This successful woman who barely has time to keep up with friends and family puts about an hour of self-care beauty treatments on her schedule every day? Though you might think I would’ve scoffed at that, instead, it gave me something to think about.

I don’t take very good care of myself. And if this successful, uber-productive woman could make time for herself, why couldn’t I?

And it’s not just about physical practices. When I see women asking for what they need or setting strong boundaries, that’s self-care, too, and I’m inspired by their strength.

Our interconnection might feel scary right now. Getting within 6 feet of one another is literally a liability at this moment in history.

And yet that vulnerability is something to celebrate. There’s so much goodness in it when we choose to be more conscious about how we affect one another.

Let this pandemic be a reminder of the webs that stretch between us all. Let it help us remember that everything we say and do affects others, even when can’t see those effects. Let it help us make choices that spread more light than darkness.

And let it remind us that we are together in everything.

© Yael Wolfe 2020

More happy thoughts about a happy world: