A List Of Judgments I Have Experienced in 30 Years as a Woman
And how they are always opposites of the same thing
I will turn 30 this year and since I can remember, there always was something I was judged for, no matter who I was and where I was in my life journey. So, I made a non-exhaustive list of these things.
As I was creating it, I was mind blown to realize that I was always judged for the opposites of the same thing. Which is the biggest proof that we will never be able to please everyone, and it is not even worth trying.
Here’s my judgments list.
- You are lame for living in a poor village
- You are arrogant for living in a rich city
- You live far away from the center, you’re wasting money on transport
- You live too central, you’re wasting money on rent
- You are inferior for coming from a small country
- You are disloyal for leaving your small country
- You are out of your mind for moving to London
- You are wasting all your money by living in London
- You are a loser for still living with family
- You are unsuccessful for living with flatmates
- You are wasting your money by living alone
- You earn more than others, you are privileged
- You don’t earn enough to be in high society
- You are privileged for being white
- You are not white enough because you are not from our country
- You have an accent
- You don’t have our accent
- You speak too loud
- You are too quiet
- Your name is very boring
- Your name is very different
- You are less because you are a woman
- You are not in your place working in a male dominated industry
- You have too many technical skills
- You have too many soft skills
- You are not creative
- Your work is too fluffy and creative, make it serious
- You are over ambitious for wanting more
- You are under ambitious for being happy with what you have
- You are too smart
- You are too dumb
- You are too energetic and it’s annoying
- You are too lazy and should work harder
- You are too young
- You are too old
- You read a lot
- You don’t read enough
- You are too nerdy
- You are too girly
- You don’t have cool hobbies
- You have weird hobbies
- You dress too fashionably
- You dress too modestly
- You are too tall to wear heels
- You are boring for not wearing heels
- You are too slim
- You are too curvy
- You shouldn’t wear pants
- You shouldn’t wear dresses
- You wear your hair down all time
- You wear your hair up all the time
- You wear makeup
- You don’t wear makeup
- You exercise too much
- You are neglecting yourself by not exercising
- You post too much on social media
- You are losing touch by deleting social media
- You are cold, you don’t call friends and family enough
- You are needy, you call your friends and family too often
- You are too young to date
- You are too old to be single
- You shouldn’t drink
- You should drink
- You are too religious
- You are not religious enough
- You are like everyone else, you should stand out more
- You are too different, you should fit in more
If you also experienced some of these, similar ones, or completely different ones, please share in the comments, and know that you are not alone.
The main lesson I have learned in my 30 years of living is that you will always be judged by other humans, no matter who you are and what you do.
Linking your self-worth to the opinions of people is the best strategy to always find a reason to feel not enough. You are enough, as you are. People only see glimpses of you as you keep growing in your journey. Only God sees all of you and knows every step of your journey. And to only Him we should link our self-worth.
With this article, I’m giving permission to myself and to you to open the wings and fly, because a strong woman is like an eagle. Against the strong winds, she soars, and uses the negative energy of a storm to fly even higher.