SPIRITUALITY | NEW BEGINNINGS

A New Beginning, When The Truth Is Exposed

Truth or lie, do you know what you traded yourself for?

My robe exposes truths and, to my love’s amusement, more skin. He smiles as I lean over, my bathrobe fluttering freely as our lips meet in a soft, lingering kiss.

He notices my frustration as I snug up my bathrobe. The disappearance of my elusive belt continues to baffle me.

I head to the loft for morning meditation, leaving him to drift back to sleep.

Without a belt to hold it all together, I am coming undone.

What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes this day will be gone forever leaving in its place something I have traded for it. ― Dr. W. Heartsill Wilson

Lavender light transforms my loft into a sanctuary of uninterrupted solitude. I sit with myself, accepting what is—wandering thoughts, sadness, a dull headache, and the cramp in my foot.

Last night, my kids bickered over petty issues. I walked away instead of saying, Stop, I am exhausted. You do not know what my soul has endured.

Sadness unwraps itself as I remember him cupping my face, his worried gaze searching my soul, drawing me closer for a tighter hug.

His voice was barely audible when he asked, “When will you feel better?”

No, I could not bring myself to go there. All I could manage was to bury my vulnerability in his embrace, calmed by the familiar scent of him.

This morning, unshed tears of yesterday undress me. Unlock a portal to transcendent consciousness.

A wise and loving presence, Blue, grants me the power to perceive situations and circumstances from an elevated perspective.

Sit with your sadness, honest with thoughts bluing. Do you express your truth in all that you do?

As I watch my life reel playing back, my family’s words hurt me deeply — hitting me below the belt, unfair attacks on my vulnerabilities. Every time I tapped the floor and surrendered, they won each round.

My light faded as I yielded to their version of who I should be.

Blue asks, Do you see how it all brought you to this moment?

“Blue eyes see through me, knows that accepting is truth. Blue eyes of acceptance tell me to accept what makes me feel blue. Blue eyes illuminate the suffering as the denial of you. There is an untouchable peace that comes with acceptance.” — Claire Kelly

After toying with me for weeks, my belt reappears. Pokes its head out from beneath my bathrobe, its tongue tickling my foot.

All this time, it had been with me.

With a gentle tug, I lure it out from its hiding place. Nestled deep within my sleeve, it uncoils itself before snaking downwards through the layers to reveal itself.

How could this not be a sign?

My curiosity piqued, I reach for my phone and type the following in the search bar: my belt hides in the layers of my bathrobe.

With the first result, my jaw drops, prompting a doubletake to confirm what I am reading.

The belt hidden below my robes hides my true form from you. —Joshua Schuler

This took my elusive belt to a new level, not a coincidence or mere chance. Divine intervention has been unmistakable over the past year.

I spiritually exposed my truth by stripping down and disrobing my old self.

The absence of a belt symbolized the conclusion to this difficult period that began with the words, “You don’t know who you are.”

Fifteen months later, my spiritual advisor’s smile radiated warmth and long-awaited recognition when she said, “I can see you.”

I am no longer elusive, as transparent as a ghost.

The January sun, low in the sky, bathed my loft with a soothing glow. A wide smile spread across my heart when Blue joined me.

The void, the deep sense of absence you felt, you were missing parts of yourself traded your light for love, acceptance, and belonging.

I reflected on these thoughts passed down to me.

“Last year left me exhausted, and I don’t think I can give more.”

There is no doubt you gave your all. Whatever you do now, know you are loved and supported.

“It scares me to take another leap of faith, but that’s what you’re asking me to do.”

Express your truth in all that you do.

I burst out laughing, saying, “Oh, that’s all? Easier said than done. Anything else?

The absence of a reply is replaced with a peaceful stillness. In its own time, the truth of everything eventually reveals itself.

Start healing by dropping appearances. Let false narratives fall to the ground, along with the stories you told yourself, to fit in.

Change into something that suits your true nature.

Should you go searching for something missing, it won’t be buried under the weight of self-camouflage. Nor buckling under the burden of expectations, catering to the comfort of others.

You cannot undo what you traded yourself for yesterday. What you can do is heal something that will matter tomorrow.

What you gain is self-love, confidence, and resilience under your belt.

With heartfelt thanks to Claire Kelly for understanding Blue, and to Write Under The Moon Publication.

© 1.15.2024, pockett dessert. All rights reserved. 🧿