A Near-Death Experience

Habeus corpus

Bill was prepared to receive a lethal injection as strapped to the gurney. The lethal injection cocktails were ready, and the executioners filled the syringes.

Five years earlier:

Bill and Thelma were riding in their rented moving van. Thelma, an alcoholic, was prone to fits of rage. The van was traveling about 70 mph.

Thelma: Where is my vodkaaa bovel….

Bill: You finished your vodka miles back.

Thelma: I need my vodka…

Thelma then grabbed the steering wheel and started violently jerking it.

Bill: Let go of the steering wheel.

Thelma: ah… I need vodka.

At this point, Bill had no other choice but to backhand Thelma in an attempt to get her to release the steering wheel; this gave Thelma a black eye.

As Bill stopped the van, Thelma opened the door and exited. At that point, a highway patrol officer pulled alongside the truck and stopped.

Patrol officer: What happened to your eye?

Thelma: he hit me.

Seeing Thelma's black eye, the patrol officer placed Bill under arrest.

Still being under the influence, Thelma darted off into an adjacent field.

The highway patrol officer handcuffed Bill to the van and took off on foot, pursuing Thelma.

Patrol officer: Wait. Come back here.

Thelma ignored the patrol officer as she continued running away from the road.

The pursuit of Thelma led the highway patrol officer to a ravine. With a river flowing at its bottom.

It appeared to the highway patrol officer that Thelma had fallen down the ravine and into the river.

The patrol officer then hurried back to the moving van and uncuffed Bill. The patrol officer took him to jail and informed the local dive team of the situation.

The local dive team then continued the search for Thelma to no avail. The local dive team couldn't find Thelma's body; The local dive team only found a few of Thelma's belongings.

1st diver: We've looked everywhere.

2nd diver: Yes, there is no way anyone could have survived that fall.

3rd diver: The body must have been swept downstream; we’ll never find it.

The charges against Bill were upgraded from assault and battery to murder. They explained that Bill's actions were causation of Thelma's death.

An overworked and underpaid public defender represented Bill.

Bill was convicted of murder.

The conviction sentence procedure specified that Bill could appeal; he appealed his conviction. After losing appeal after appeal, he finally exhausted all his options.

Bill sat in his cell on death row, wondering how this could have happened.

Bill: I don't know how this could have happened.

Prison chaplain: Hmmm… Would you like me to give you your last rights?

Bill: This doesn't seem right… I don't deserve this.

Bill knew he wasn't guilty of assault and battery. Let alone murder.

The chaplain finished giving Bill his last rights. Several correctional officers placed Bill in shackles. The correctional officers then escorted him from his cell to the death cell.

As Bill lay on the gurney ready for the lethal injections, a sound came over the intercom.

The governor had stayed the execution. Thelma had been picked up for shoplifting and identified by her fingerprints.

Thelma was alive; proof Bill was not guilty of murder.