A Near-Death Experience

My personal experience on near-death

Long-time ago, I had a near-death experience.

If you’re not familiar with the term, it means a sensation of having lost your life. You experience death, consciously. Neuroscience research states that near-death occur during life-threatening events (source). It was my case.

In spite of the traumatic cause of my experience, it was a marvellous one. It happened 24 years ago, and until today, I cherish the sensorial memory I have from it. It never faded away.

When it happened, the internet was inexistent — in my life, at least-, and because I didn’t want to tell anyone how it happened, I kept the experience to myself for years, not truly understanding it. I just knew that I died, I experienced something extraordinary, and then I return to life.

Also, I didn’t tell anyone what had happened because, seriously, who would believe me?

I’m agnostic; my beliefs are on values (love, respect, kindness…). I believe in the Universe and its energies: our energies. I never associated with my near-death experience a religious meaning, as so many people do. For me, it was a scientific occurrence: my heart stopped, I physically died, and my “soul”, my energy went somewhere.

Let me share with you, in detail, my extra-sensorial, magnificent experience:

My near-death experience

I was 22 years old; I was home with my one-year-old son and his father; that, during the fight he had started, chocked me until I passed out. For about one or two minutes (I was told), my heart stopped. I was dead.

While he tried to bring me back, my “soul” — again: no religious meaning attached, I use the term for lacking a better one — went to a different place. A marvellous and unforgettable one.

Along the years, I read people’s near-death experiences, and the majority describes a “bright light”; the famous “light at the end of the tunnel”. Others, see themselves out of their body, like floating above themselves.

My experience was different: I never saw myself out of my body, nor the magnetic light. I felt a sudden lifting, I went up, very fast. There was no light, there was no darkness. I just went up.

I then stop feeling my body as a whole, I only felt my head, which was emerging from the ground, like a flower bulb. I was — better saying: my head was — in a vast grass field.

There was no flowers or trees around me, only fresh grass. Looking forward, far away, I saw an enormous tree. Its surroundings were bright, I couldn’t take my eyes from it — it was the happiest place I’ve ever seen. I felt its happiness.

Around the tree, there was nothing, but looking at it, I felt peace and love. So much love! It was so beautiful to feel.

I only saw the tree, but I could hear children’s laughs. In front of me, there was only the fresh green grass, a robust, vibrant tree. And the children’s laughs. I decided to go there, to that happy place. So, I started to push my body out of the ground. Doing so, I heard my son’s cry. I was again connected with my home, with my life “down there.”

On that moment, a voiceless choice was given to me: I could pull myself out of the ground and walk to the tree, and become part of the happiness around it, or I could “go down” and return to my baby, and to my horrible life.

I remember making an immediate decision but taking a moment to look one last time to the tree, to its brightness and hear the children laughing. To feel happiness, so long unknown to me.

After absorbing that extraordinary sensation, I said goodbye. The same way I was pulled up before, I was now suddenly sucked back down.

I regained consciousness. I was back into my apartment, with my abuser giving me CPR (or trying to), shouting my name, in despair. I ignored him and got up to comfort my scared baby, who was crying in panic.

We hugged, he calmed down, falling asleep in my arms.

My near-death experience empowered me.

Not only I got the courage to end that phase of my life (I kicked the bastard out), but I also embraced my connection with Nature. And with Life.

I’ve always loved Nature, in particular, trees. Perhaps that was the reason one was in my near-death experience — representing death but also life. But after that day, my connection and trust with Nature were intensified, forever.

I am thankful for my near-death experience, it made me trust I am safe.

I could have chosen to give up, to rest, happy, under the tree. But I chose to come back, to delay the encounter. I chose life, even being an abusive one. In time, I got over everything, resilient and stronger.

I hope that when death comes for me, it will offer me the same peaceful and happy experience from my near-death.