A Narcissist Will Never Take Responsibility

It's always someone else's fault

A narcissist will never take responsibility for their actions or quality of life. They always blame someone or something else.

If they do something to hurt your feelings, it's your fault because you're too sensitive. If you have money, it belongs to them. If they have an errand to run, it's your responsibility.

Narcissists believe you are there to serve them. If it doesn't involve them, it isn't essential. Even if you offer the narcissist free room and board, they do not understand that your life doesn't always affect them.

They only want you to be loyal to them. For instance. my tumbling coach, I owed her $50. The narcissist sleeping on my couch wanted me not to pay her and give the money to him. He threw a fit because I had other obligations.

In this article, let's discuss how narcissists don't take responsibility.

They invalidate your feelings

One significant way narcissists abuse you is they invalidate your feelings. They will publicly humiliate you and then tell you that you are crazy for being upset.

The biggest narcissists will degrade and shame you publically, and when others hold them accountable, they will say it's your fault others are angry at them because you decided to be offended.

My narcissist would mistreat me, insult me, and degrade me. He joked that I was a weirdo and then told me I was wrong to feel insulted because it was a joke.

Narcissists will invalidate your feelings and turn things around to make it look like you are the problem when they joke about your disability and then blame you for being too sensitive. However, when you hint that they aren't the most crucial person in the world, they will hold it against you.

They treat you like their butler

My narcissist would tell me to my face my feelings didn't matter and then, in the next breath, ask me to help him with his chores. Whether doing his laundry or helping him move stuff, I was expected to do my best without getting thanked. This guy treated me like his unpaid servant.

Narcissists expect you to do whatever they want whenever they want. They experience narcissistic injury when you even hint that you have yourself to take care of. If you are busy or you have other plans, they throw a fit and accuse you of abuse because you didn't put their needs ahead of your own.

To the narcissist, they genuinely feel that your reason for existing is to serve them. The narcissist will get you to do things they could easily do themselves but want you to do because, to them, you are their butler.

If they want soda, for instance, instead of walking to the store and buying it themselves, they expect you to do it. Not because they can't do it themselves but because they are so magnificent that other people should do it for them. They are too good to do things for themself.

Narcissists expect you to wash their clothes, cook for them, clean up after them, and go to work to make money for them. Anything you want to do for yourself is selfish in their eyes because they are that important. They are too good to have to clean up after themselves. You are there to serve them.

They believe your stuff is theirs

Narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever you have. If you have money, a place to stay, or any other benefit, they think they are just as deserving of it as you. If you get an employee discount at your job, the narcissist will believe they are entitled to the discount, too, even if the benefit is for employees only.

It doesn't matter if whatever you have is for yourself only. Whatever you have is the narcissist's too. I could only have guests over to my apartment for three days maximum. My narc ignored this and told me it was my responsibility to house him as he had nowhere to go.

He also told me I didn't deserve the money I worked for. Even though I was the one earning the money, he needed it for heroin. I was supposed to buy him drugs because he didn't want the medication a hospital would give him.

To a narcissist, anything you have rightly belongs to them. After all, you are their property; whatever you get, they get too.

They play victim

Another thing to watch out for is the narcissist playing the victim. They will tell you about their problems. They do this to make them feel sorry for them and give them whatever they want.

Even if they created the circumstance they are in, they will blame everyone and everything else for why they are in a bind.

Narcissists play the comparison game and try to make you feel sorry for them. They will tell you that everyone else abandoned them and that you are the only person in their lives. They will say this to make them look like victims.

You try to help them but quickly realize why everyone else left them. They steadfastly refuse to take responsibility for the problems they create. They burnt through all their friends because they treated them like dogs.

It is never their fault, and everyone else is to blame. They do not recognize that they are the common denominator in all their other relationships.

They blame you

Finally, narcissists will blame you for their actions. If they are in pain, it's your fault because you won't buy them dope. If they physically assaulted you, it's because you made them. If they destroy your property, it's because you made them angry.

You are the one to blame for the narcissist's actions. They are perfect, after all. They also say you are responsible for their feelings. They tell you that you have to make them happy. Their emotions and behaviors are because you made them feel this way.

Nobody is ever responsible for the way another feels. The responsibility for one's feelings is oneself. Sadly, many codependents legitimately believe they are why their partner feels the way they do.

If a grown adult is reacting badly, it's because they choose to act that way. It is not your fault if a narcissist hits you. They didn't assault you because you didn't give them what they wanted; they chose to do so.

The narcissist needs to take responsibility for their actions.

Conclusion

Narcissists see you as an extension of themselves. The only reason why you exist in this world is to serve them. They play the victim and never take any responsibility in their life.

Whatever you have belongs to them. How they make you feel doesn't matter. You are expected to do their bidding and comfort them when they blame everyone else.

Whatever is going on for you is not essential. They get angry if you have other plans that don't involve them. Everybody else should tend to their needs and serve them because they are that important.

They see themselves as the center of the universe and legitimately don't understand how someone has to take care of their stuff. They expect you to do it anyway if you ask them about something that would put you in a bad situation. They may say you are selfish because you won't make sacrifices for them. They will expect you to give them the clothes off your back.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it's best to go with no contact. All you are to them is a tool for their benefit. They never cared for you, respected you, or loved you. They tricked you into being responsible for their problems. You care about them, but they don't care about you.

Go, no contact, and avoid getting fooled again.