PREFERRED NOMENCLATURE

A Mom By Any Other Name: On Parentbloggers, Fierce Pen Names, and Family Privacy

Your mom changed her pen name

I forgot to tell y’all something.

I changed my pen name.

Laurel B. Miller is now Lindy Vogel. I repeat: Ringo is Rango, Paul is dead, and yer mom goes to college — I mean, goes by Lindy now.

Why?

Two reasons. 1.) I started to worry about privacy. I know, I know, it’s a fine time to do that now. Writing about your own kids as your bread and butter is like shitting in your own well water.

As opposed to shitting in someone else’s well. *Ahem.*

And 2.) My mom’s probably gonna sue me if she reads my memoir. There’s a strategy to this gritty memoir thing, apparently. If you spit the ugly truth —if you indulge in overshare, even without being mean — you might get sued!

You’re supposed to tell no one. NO ONE.

Wait, there isn’t a damn thing in the world that I’m capable of telling “no one.”

The new pen name bears no resemblance to my IRL name; Lindy Vogel is a name I simply like. I’ve dabbled in smut writing, to little end, and it was originally my pen name for that genre. Laurel B. Miller was an alright pen name for everyday writing and not terribly memorable. She wasn’t Sasha Fierce.

For a salty alter ego? Lindy’s better.

The name Lindy also reminds me of a comedy hero of mine, Lindy West. I don’t identify with all of Lindy West’s politics, e.g., Shout Your Abortion, but I also don’t totally disagree. And I fucking loved Shrill [external link].

Vogel is a German surname that calls to mind the word “vocal.”

Like my humor hero Lindy West, Miz Vogel is proud to be a loud-ass bitch.

Other news: A.J. Cralle (she, her), my trusty co-pilot, must think I’m avoiding her because literally HALF of my demon spawn had graduation ceremonies this week — and the rest had end-of-school year parties.

Faahk. There’s way too much happening at once. And if that already wasn’t enough, then…THEN! We all reached for the Immodium. Because everyone in my household — one by fucking one — is getting norovirus. Andy. Me. Gale. Joe. Zeke. My poor mother-in-law, who is visiting.

5 down; 3 to go — not including my father-in-law. Who will be next to have it comin’ out both ends?

I had to the miss the high school graduations of our eldest two kids, lest I crap myself and power puke behind the bleachers.

If you need me, I’ll be sobbing over how quickly the years have passed, and also bleaching every household surface.

Other other news: I’m gonna have to go ahead and ask you to buy an inappropriate sticker [external link] from me. There is a burgeoning online storefront now for (mostly) Sweary Mommy crap.¹ Mmmmkay?

Not all of the stickers are inappropriate, sadly.

¹ You’ll have to click a box near the bottom right corner of the page to see the “mature” content.

Take Home Messages

In summary, me me me, blah blah blah.

Have you ever worried about somebody suing you for defamation?

Has anybody else changed his/her/their pen name?

Note: Lysergic World Design’s online art store [external link] inspired me to make a sticker storefront. Check out Lysergic’s art! I especially approve of the penis stickers. (You’ll have to click a box near the page’s bottom right side to show the mature content.)