A Mama’s Prayer

I Am Riddled With Guilt

Dear Father, who art in Heaven

Hear my prayer

I am riddled with guilt

For feeling this way

Especially in light

Of the world today.

But Jesus Christ!

For the love of all

That is Holy and Sacred,

Do you think I could just

Not be ‘The Mama’

For just a little while?

I am riddled with guilt

I know my problems

Are trivial compared to

All that is going on

Out there.

Still.

Couldn’t they all just go away?

Just for a little while?

I know they look at me.

They see a warrior.

The soldier

Able to fight off all their demons and

Keep them safe from harm.

They have no idea

Of the pressure that’s building.

Each question, demand, responsibility

A bombardment.

Each hug, high five, and fist bump

No longer a joy

I know it’s just because

They need security.

They need to know

That the world will not crumble and

Fall upon their heads.

But, Jesus Christ!

For the love of all

That is Holy and Sacred,

Why does it have to

Fall on me!?!

Could I just

Not be ‘The Mama,’

Just for a little while?

I am riddled with guilt.

I just want to run away.

No, I don’t.

I just want them to

Go away.

Leave me alone.

Stop touching me.

Let me think.

Let me get lost

Within myself.

I am riddled with guilt

I want to lose myself

In the creative process.

Not forever.

Just until I can find

My center

Peace and calm

Strength and compassion

Then I can return to

Connection.

If you have enjoyed this piece, please consider subscribing to have my new articles sent directly to your email inbox!

If you’d like full, unlimited access to all of my published Medium articles and those of many other writers, please consider a paid membership. If you sign up using this link, I will receive a portion of your fee, to support my continued writing.