Inspiration | Love and Connection | Animals

A Love Story of a Very Different Kind: Part 1

An unexpected bond that I could never have foreseen

“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.”

— Roy T. Bennett, ‘The Light In The Heart’

This is a love story of a very different kind. And it is one I would never have believed could become such an important part of my life.

I met him many years ago with no idea that one day, I would fall hopelessly in love with him. Nor could I have known about the powerful connection we would share.

It was during a Sunday stroll through a shopping mall with “Mr. X,” my now-former husband. At this juncture, I have to say that I am a woman but I did not get the shopping gene. However, Mr. X loved it so being a good little wife, I accompanied him on Sundays while he enjoyed poking into numerous shops at the mall. At least we were spending time together, talking and dreaming of the future.

There was a large pet shop in the mall and Mr. X particularly enjoyed having a peek at all the little furry creatures in the back. It was oddly out of character for him, as he was very much “The Tough Guy.” But he was loaded with contradictions so what was one more?

To get to the cute, furry pets, we had to pass through the reptile section. In retrospect, that was good thinking on the part of management; it was a great way to generate interest in animals that were not as commonly chosen to be family pets.

On one particular Sunday, on the way to the back of the pet shop, I noticed one of the snakes — a “yellow rat snake,” according to the sign — moving around in his tank. Properly called a vivarium for containing a snake, it was really a fish tank with a screen lid. And who says “vivarium” anyway?

All the other snakes were lying coiled up and not moving in their respective glasshouses. Each had a pile of plastic vines and leaves (which I would later learn was not merely bad taste in snake-tank-decorating; it was to help them shed their skin). Each had a heating lamp on one end, a water dish on the other, and that was about it. I stopped for a moment and looked at this busy little snake, who appeared to be trying to escape.

But it was not his lucky day.

I didn’t stop more than a moment or two and soon caught up with my husband where all the kittens, puppies, gerbils, and other four-footed fur babies lived.

Every Sunday thereafter during our mall-meandering and inevitable visit to the pet store, I stopped to watch Mr. Busy. And with each visit, I stayed a little longer before joining Mr. X with the furry kids.

I remember the first time the snake looked back at me. Usually, I left so quickly he would have barely had time to notice me, especially in a busy shop. But one day, although I’d only stopped for a minute to watch him, suddenly he was watching me, too.

He was beautiful, a gorgeous rust colour with brown saddles and pale creamy yellow underside. He was only about two and a half feet long (less than a metre) and I was mesmerised by his graceful, elegant movements.

On spotting me, he froze and stared right through me with his piercing dark eyes. I suppose it sounds silly to some but in that moment, I felt a deep and immediate bond with him. I’ve had numerous pets throughout my life and loved every one of them beyond description. But I hadn’t experienced a moment like this ever before.

It was as though his spirit and mine connected — and shared mutual messages of understanding.

After several long seconds, he returned to his escape attempts, moving along the top of the tank, checking in case a hole had miraculously appeared in the lid since his last pass.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped going to the back of the shop with Mr. X. I stayed to have a visit with Mr. Busy (who has just been given that name as I write this). Each time I stood there, he spent some time watching me watching him. When no one was around, I found myself speaking softly to him, even though as a snake, he had no external ears.

As the weeks passed and my interest in Mr. Busy grew, there came a point when during the mall-meandering I turned to Mr. X and said, “Can we go and visit my snake?”

“Sure, but don’t get any ideas about buying it. I’m not having that thing in the house.”

I couldn’t help but feel offended on behalf of the little snake. But I knew enough about Mr. X to choose my battles wisely.

With three of my five kids still at home, the older two still around a fair bit, and a busy homeopathy practice to run, I hadn’t really considered buying Mr. Busy until that moment. And Mr. X had unwittingly planted the seed.

Mr. Busy’s small tank was on a stand about three feet off the ground, the perfect height for children to come and stick their faces up against the glass or knock loudly on it. I witnessed this on a few occasions and Mr. Busy always reacted by frantically trying to escape.

I stopped the children and said they were frightening him; they always listened and moved on but of course, I wasn’t there most of the time. No doubt he was terrorised by curious children on a daily basis.

It was easy to understand why every time I saw him, he was moving around his tank, always at the top as if searching for a way out. I suppose that was how he spent his days; his only peace would have been after 9 pm when the shop closed.

The Bond Grows Stronger

I began to look forward to my weekly visits with Mr. Busy. On every occasion, he stopped what he was doing and stared back at me. Sometimes he would move around his tank a little — much more slowly as if he was calmed by my presence. Not searching for a way out but more like getting comfortable and then returning his attention to me.

On one of my visits with Mr. Busy, a long-haired staff member, Scott, stopped to chat with me. He was the shop’s reptile expert and had several snakes and other reptiles of his own. I expressed my concern about the children and that this little snake always seemed to be trying to escape.

Scott said snakes need hideouts and none of the snakes in the shop had one (not for lack of effort on his part in getting management to fix that). They become stressed when constantly exposed because they’re timid creatures by nature and prefer to stay out of sight.

It was interesting that the other snakes didn’t seem too bothered but perhaps their lack of movement was their own way of “hiding” and hoping not to be noticed, while Mr. Busy kept trying to “get out of Dodge.”

“This little guy is a bit of an escape artist,” said Scott, referring to Mr. Busy. “One time, he was gone for a whole month. One day, we got a call from a women’s shoe store upstairs, asking if we were missing a snake. Apparently, a staff member was ringing in a purchase and when the cash drawer popped out of the register, there he was.”

I have often wondered if that woman ended up in therapy — and gave up every thought of a career in sales.

Scott had lots of information to share about Mr. Busy and snakes in general. I was rapidly becoming fascinated by these amazing animals.

Fascinating Facts

For example, they have all the same organs as we do, yes, even gall bladder, pancreas, and spleen. They don’t have an appendix like humans, but neither do most other animals. It’s not an essential organ anyway; it’s interesting that their evolution shows only a trace of an appendix while we must still put up with the trouble they can cause.

Snakes have one very lo-o-o-o-ong lung on one side of the body, and on the other side there is a tiny undeveloped lung bud. Their lungs are highly efficient and some land snakes (like rat snakes) can stay under water for up to an hour.

They have two kidneys but although they’re on opposite sides of the body, as with ours, one is higher than the other to accommodate the long, narrow body.

They do not have external ears but they compensate by being exceptionally sensitive to vibrations. They know exactly where other creatures or people are in relation to themselves.

Their tongues are incredibly sensitive to temperature, able to sense a difference of 1/100th degree C from a few centimeters away. The tongue is essential to determining whether or not an object is prey. It gathers scent molecules in the air, depositing them in the Jacobson organ — a scent organ in the roof of the mouth. Snakes can literally taste the air.

Their entire evolution has been focused into the gut. They have digestive juice that is so potent, it can reduce an entire animal to uric acid. Hair, hoof, bone, claws— the whole animal is digested.

Many people are frightened of snakes and think they’re completely foreign creatures to us. But they’re really just long vertebrates without limbs. Some have up to 400 vertebrae.

They have ribs, one pair per vertebra (except for the “neck” area). The ribs extend all the way down the length of the snake (not including the tail) to protect its organs. Each set of ribs has muscles attached to it, allowing a sort of caterpillar-like crawling for movement — which is lightning fast.

One of the reasons people commonly fear snakes is they believe they’re all venomous and therefore, automatically deadly. The truth is that of about 3600 species of snakes in the world, only about 600 are venomous. Plus most snakes prefer not to bite; they will warn by hissing and will try to get away. They’re usually far more afraid of you than you could ever be of them.

Here’s a short video of a man who stopped to help this rat snake cross a busy road. You can see there is no aggression from the snake — and watch how it climbs a smooth surface — with no arms or legs!

And a surprising fact about snakes: they have two penises — called hemipenes, which they keep tucked inside their bodies until a date goes really well…🙄 🤦🏻‍♀️

One of the most intriguing facts about snakes is that they bond with their owners. Those bonds are at least as strong as those with more “normal” pets like dogs, cats, and horses.

Perhaps my feeling that strong bond and connection with this little guy wasn’t so silly after all. Perhaps he felt my compassion for him being trapped and terrorised. Perhaps he knew he had my heart.

(I’ll share some astonishing experiences with this in the rest of this series, including a twist I could never have foreseen that will change your view of snakes — and all animals — unless you have experienced it yourself.)

The more I learned about snakes — from Scott and my own research — the more fascinated I became. And it turned out the Bob wasn’t a yellow rat snake. Breeders never did figure it out what kind of rat snake he was; his colouring and markings were unique, making him extra special.

The Turning Point

Mr. X and I went to that shopping mall sometimes on Thursday evenings. We enjoyed its food court for a delicious but inexpensive meal. Food courts were always especially appealing for us as we had wildly different tastes. I could enjoy my meat-free, super healthful veggie-based meals while he loaded up on half a pig or a cow plus a load of fat, salt, and sugar.

There came a particular Thursday evening several months after I had met Mr. Busy. After Mr. X and I had finished our food court meal, I asked, “Can we go and visit my snake?”

And off we went, down the escalator to the pet shop (which reminds me…if it’s an “escalator,” shouldn’t it only ever go up? I think we need a new name for the ones that go down).

Upon arriving at Mr. Busy’s tank, I was horrified to see the price for him had been cut in half. “Oh, no! Someone’s going to buy him! I’ll never get to see him again!”

I was completely distraught. Only then did I understand just how deep my connection with that little snake had become. I was terribly upset that this might be the last time I ever got to visit my little buddy.

Scott happened by at that point and I told him of my distress. He said the rat snake had been there for months and they needed to make room for new reptiles. I was beside myself.

I can’t even tell you how shocked I was when out of the blue, Mr. X said, “Well…as long as I don’t ever have to touch it, you can get it.”

I was over the moon! We were going to need time to prepare; having a snake isn’t like having a cat, putting it on the floor and showing it the litter box.

I paid for my little pal and said I’d be back to collect him the next day. Mr. X and I went to Walmart for a temporary housing option and other essentials, like a hideout and water dish.

On the way home, I contemplated names with Mr. X. I thought of “Mice Nake,” — after all those months of calling him that…🤓. I’d call him “Mice” for short. I thought it would be fun especially because at that stage, he was eating mice and you know what they say, “You are what you eat.”

But another name found its way to my consciousness and I cracked up instantly. It was perfect.

“His name is Bob!”

Yes. Bob would do just fine.

We hadn’t found a suitable hideout option at Walmart. Back at home, I found a shoebox, cut a hole for a door at one end and turned the box upside down. I wrote on the side, “Bob’s Hideout.” I popped it in his new plastic box with holes drilled in it by Mr. X and the following morning went to collect my little buddy.

I was unprepared for what would happen when I arrived at the shop…

Continue with Part 2:

*About the photo at the top: Bob managed to do this regularly with water in the bowl and without spilling. He always thought he was hiding, bless his sweet heart.

Enjoy a good chuckle as Janet Meisel laments her life with a tool-challenged partner!

And this entertaining and sound advice from Carrie Kolar about weight loss:

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