A Love Letter
Love in a freezing climate.

My Dearest Lucy,
Sorry I haven’t written sooner.
I’ve been on the run on Maatsuyker Island and I’ve just rendezvoused with the AAV Ziggy Stardust.
The Corgington was overrun and captured by A Flock of Seagulls. I Ran.
Actually, it was a flock of killer penguins. Nonetheless, I ran, I ran so far away.
Please don’t think me a coward.
Once the penguins came aboard the humans were useless. They just made these oooh-ah noises and thought they’d just discovered a new species. They started getting the camera gear out to take some photos. Before they had a chance the penguins had rounded them up and driven them into the hull of the ship.
I remained free.
I only had time to secure the teleportation laboratory before the penguins had completely overrun the ship.
I went into hiding and for the next five days, survived on the automatic snack dispenser alone.
I’m glad I’d invented it.
The Corgington was sailed to the base of their writing collective, where I dived into the water, swam to shore and escaped into the interior.
After forty days in the wilderness, I spotted the AAV Ziggy Stardust off the north coast. I barked a distress signal in morse code and was rescued shortly after.
During the whole ordeal all my thoughts have been with you.
Every night I’ve dreamed of nothing but laying by your side in the sands of Lake Tahoe, follicking by the water’s edge and chasing the jackalopes together.
We will retake The Corgington.
I will complete the teleportation project.
And then, I will be by your side.
Forever in my heart.
All my love, Rex.





