A letter to my younger self

Summary

The text is a personal letter from a future self to their younger self, affirming their gender identity and discussing the journey of transitioning.

Abstract

In a heartfelt letter, an individual addresses their younger self, confirming their feelings of being a girl despite their external appearance. The author empathizes with the younger self's sense of being trapped in the wrong body and assures them that transitioning, though challenging, will lead to a fulfilling life as a woman. The letter provides comfort by revealing that the future holds happiness and peace with their identity, supported by love from friends and a doctor's guidance, despite societal attitudes and initial family disapproval. The author refrains from disclosing their future name or events, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the transformative power of knowing one's true self.

Opinions

The author believes in the intrinsic nature of their gender identity, comparing themselves to an LP in the wrong sleeve, with the beautiful music representing their true self.
They acknowledge the difficulty of transitioning and the patience required while still at school, but insist it is worth the wait and the challenges faced.
The author expresses that societal acceptance of gender transition is only slightly improved from their younger self's time, indicating that progress is slow but meaningful.
They gently criticize the outdated term 'sex change' and the word 'transsexual,' preferring the contemporary terms 'gender reassignment' and 'transgender.'
The author hints at the significance of true names as a source of power and identity, referencing Ursula le Guin's work, and encourages reading the Earthsea Trilogy for deeper understanding.
They convey a sense of optimism and contentment with their life post-transition, assuring their younger self that happiness and self-acceptance are attainable.
The author signs off with encouragement and affection, suggesting a nurturing and hopeful attitude towards their past and future selves.

A letter to my younger self

A green fountain pen with gold nib — and green-black ink

This is your future self here. I know it sounds weird, but I promise you it’s not someone playing a cruel practical joke. I’ll prove it’s me (you): You mix green and black inks to make your own green-black one like the blue-black ink that Parker do make. Also, you know all the words of The Twelfth of Never. You’ve never told *anyone* that!

I’m writing this because I’m hoping that I can save you from some of the misery and complete ‘lostness’ you’re feeling. I’m going to tell you one really, really important thing:

You’re right — you *are* a girl.

You genuinely are!! Your outside is wrong for you but, inside, you just *know* who you are. You’re like an LP that’s been put in the wrong sleeve — there’s beautiful music on it but no-one knows it’s there.

In just a few years’ time, though, (not quite yet, not while you’re still at school) you will be ready to change roles and be the woman you know you are. There isn’t a single word for it at the time you’re reading this but we call it ‘transitioning’ now. I’m not going to try to kid you that it will be easy — because it won’t — and it won’t be easy to wait, but my goodness it will be worth it. Please know that although your family will disapprove, especially in your early years as you, they love you. They won’t disown you, and with help from a really good doctor and the love of some even better friends, you will grow into a happy, confident woman and you will be able to cope with everything you will go through to get there.

You probably need to know in advance that society will be only a little more used to people undergoing ‘sex changes’ than they are now and it certainly still won’t be commonplace. Incidentally, we call it ‘gender reassignment’ now; the word ‘transsexual’ has gone out of fashion and we use the term ‘transgender.’ (Also, I started this letter by saying ‘Hi’ but we often say ‘Hey’ now instead. It’s said gently and not considered shouting.)

I’m not going to tell you what your name will be (spoilers!) but it’s one of the names you’ve often wished was yours. I *think* I’d read Ursula le Guin’s Earthsea Trilogy by the time you read this — she was right about the power of true names! If you haven’t read it yet, buy it (or borrow it).

Life will happen in a way you have not dared imagine. I’m not going to tell you anything about what else happens in your future/my history. Let’s just say that by the time you write this letter, you will be happy and at peace in your body, and that will have been true for the great majority of your adult life. We both just need you to know that.

Good luck — for yourself and for the woman you will finally be!! xx