A Letter To My Unborn Child

Summary

The author, Gurpreet Dhariwal, pens a poignant letter to an unborn child explaining her decision not to become a mother, citing personal choice, societal pressures, and the suffering she witnesses in the world.

Abstract

In a deeply personal and introspective piece, Gurpreet Dhariwal addresses her hypothetical unborn child, articulating her resolve to remain childless. She acknowledges the societal expectations and judgments faced by childless women and emphasizes her desire for personal freedom and peace. Dhariwal reflects on the emotional toll of her work with abuse survivors and her own sensitive nature, which leads her to choose a life without the responsibility of parenthood. She seeks the same respect given to mothers who choose to have children, asserting her right to decide against motherhood. The author finds solace in nature and animals, and identifies with the struggles of women worldwide, vowing to continue writing boldly about her experiences and convictions.

Opinions

The author views motherhood as a restrictive role and a cage she chooses not to enter, valuing her autonomy and emotional well-being.
She expresses frustration with societal norms that dictate a woman's role and the lack of understanding towards women who opt out of motherhood.
Dhariwal feels a profound connection with abuse survivors and believes that bringing a child into a world filled with suffering would be irresponsible.
She desires the same respect afforded to mothers, emphasizing that her choice not to have children is as valid as the choice to become a parent.
The author finds comfort and companionship in animals, seeing a reflection of her soul in their eyes.
She rejects the concept of a biological clock dictating her life choices and criticizes the societal pressure to have children.
Dhariwal identifies with the global sisterhood of women, feeling their pain and advocating for their rights through her writing.
She considers herself brave and unapologetically bold in expressing her thoughts, despite facing criticism and trolling.
The author values independence and strength in women, and rejects the societal expectation to conform to traditional roles.
She acknowledges the potential for negative reactions to her decision but remains steadfast in her choice, prioritizing her own life and well-being.

“I knew from a young age that motherhood was a cage I never wanted to inhabit.” ― Chelsea G. Summers

“Refusing to have a child is the highest degree of rebellion, after suicide; one of the best uses of the mind; and the best gift to the planet.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Dearest Unborn Child,

Don’t hate Mommy! I am never going to get you in this world. I am not a Mommy material. I have a lot of love in my heart to give to others, but I cannot dedicate my life to you until I die. Call me selfish, but it is what it is.

I have been seeing a lot of hatred that free-spirited childless women are facing on social media and in real life. A woman is not allowed to decide for herself. She cannot even decide when to abort a baby. My child, I am not taking the wrath out on you rather I believe you will understand, unlike other 7,99,999 morons.

I gave it a lot of thought. Ah! I am single so you must be thinking this is the reason. No! I can still have you as there are many ways to get pregnant now, but I can’t. Understand my life and thoughts. I don’t want to get you in a world where I myself don’t feel safe. I help abuse survivors. The kind of stories they have shared with me and the stories I have shared with them have broken my heart many times.

I have learned to sob alone at night. I get tears reading those stories. I am a highly sensitive soul. When you will suffer my child, I will too. I don’t want that. I need some peace because of the purpose I already have. I want the same level of respect the other mommies get. They willingly became pregnant and took the responsibility of their children in their hands. I am willingly saying the same thing that I don’t want a child. But the world and society look at me with a suspicious lens. Also, they ignore the stories of those women who never asked for the pregnancy. They were raped to bear a child.

I am not scared but I am done with this world. It’s getting darker out there. Nobody can rescue us, only ourselves. So, yeah, call me whatever you want to but, in this birth, there is no chance that you and I are going to be united. I would rather adopt a dog, cat, or a fox as a child because animals comfort me. I see my soul in their eyes. I know you are smiling while reading this. I just felt your little fingers and a beautiful face. How cute you are. Thank you for understanding me and accepting my choices.

Anxiety never leaves me. I wouldn’t be able to breathe peacefully with you by my side. I will always be worried about what’s happening with you in school, then college, then relationships, and ultimately life. Those anxious thoughts will kill me faster than an earthquake. Do you want Mommy to die like this? No! You don’t. How caring and affectionate you are. I appreciate you from far away.

I am 37 and they say the biological clock is ticking but I don’t get it for whom? I don’t want you and you don’t want me. We have made a pact and people have issues with it. Let’s depart from society and live in the mountains. I will get more time to nurture myself in nature. There are many stories where women didn’t ask for the pregnancy either. They had to surrender because this world loves it when women suffer. I don’t want to be that woman. However, I suffer whenever I see another woman in pain.

I am not free, my child. How could I be? When millions of other women are suffering, being abused and killed for no fault of their own. I am a part of them, and they are a part of me. I suffer silently and I write boldly. I get my thoughts out and sometimes I get trolled for expressing myself. But who cares? I won’t shut up. Your Mommy is brave. You already know that. Sometimes, I wonder what my parents got after giving me a birth. A few days ago, I had a fight with my father, and I asked him the same question of why he got me into this birth without my consent and he was silent.

We both gave each other a weird look. Although I am growing older but smarter too. Nobody can force me because I know what I want. People don’t like independent and strong women. They say they do but they lie. They feel threatened by us and for what? I have no clue. Someone told me once that her mother hates loud-mouthed people, and I said thankfully that a coward is not my mother. That friendship fell apart. It didn’t pinch me, child, because your Mommy is a bitch.

So, I won’t be taking nine months of your time but rather just ten more seconds. I know you are getting the conversation we are making, and some people are going to despise us. But then, you are my unborn child, who cares? Be brave wherever you are going to be, be bold, and be strong always. We are going to rock this world with letters like this. I will try to write to you next and tell you more about myself. You are my unborn child, and your Mommy deserves to live her life. Thank you for your kind understanding and respect for my decision.

Until we meet next…. Love you so much.

Your Mommy (Kaurageously Yours)

“Not everything is for everybody” ― Dane A. Reid

Gurpreet Dhariwal is the author of four books. Her books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, and BlueRose. Connect with Gurpreet at www.gurpreetdhariwal.com