A letter to my 18-year-old self

Summary

A reflective letter offering reassurance and wisdom to a younger self, emphasizing personal growth, resilience, and the promise of a fulfilling future.

Abstract

The letter serves as a heartfelt reflection from an older, wiser self to the 18-year-old version, addressing the fears and uncertainties of youth. It acknowledges the difficulty of the journey ahead, including the challenges of listening to one's inner voice, coping with social pressures, and the complexities of following one's dreams. The writer reassures their younger self that despite hardships such as illness, marital issues, and societal judgment, there will be profound happiness, love, and self-discovery. The narrative emphasizes the importance of trusting oneself, embracing change, and the eventual realization of a life filled with joy and contentment.

Opinions

The author believes that turning down an opportunity that doesn't feel right is a commendable act of self-trust and integrity.
They express that it's acceptable to be introverted and that having a few close relationships is more valuable than striving to fit into larger social groups.
The author suggests that life's journey involves pursuing dreams that may not align with initial expectations, leading to growth and a better understanding of true desires.
They emphasize the importance of resilience, especially when facing life-altering events such as divorce and illness.
The author conveys that parenting will bring both joy and challenges, with children being a source of pride and inspiration.
They assert that true happiness comes from within and is achieved by living authentically and embracing one's unique path.
The writer holds the opinion that it's never too late to start over and that every experience contributes to one's evolution and eventual happiness.

I promise it will be OK

I remember how you’re feeling right now. “Lost” is a pretty good way to sum it up, don’t you think? You’ve just turned down a fabulous opportunity because you knew you weren’t ready. You’re scared and feel alone. You’re terrified of how you are going to survive in the real world.

You were right to turn down that opportunity. A small part of you will always regret it, but you will come to understand you couldn’t have succeeded on that path. It will always be in the back of your mind that you missed out on what could have been, but the life you have ahead of you is an amazing adventure all by itself. Your decision was the first time you listened to the voice inside you, the first time you stood up for what you believed in. You will be so proud of yourself for making the hard choice, one day…

Your journey isn’t going to be easy. You will have good and bad times, but overall you’re going to be able to look back and realize that your life was everything you needed it to be. You must learn to trust yourself, you’re more amazing than you know.

You’re not a people-person. You know that, but you’re going to worry about it for the better part of the next twenty years. Don’t fight it — it’s part of who you are and it’s OK. There will always be one or two special people you are close to. These are the people who love and adore you for who you are inside. You’re always going to struggle in groups, you’ll always wonder how to fit in and if people really like you. They do like you, and they feel like they don’t fit in either! Enjoy your special people and try to stop worrying about what the rest think about you. Find the parts inside of you that make you happy and follow your heart.

You’ll follow your dreams, and you’ll get everything you thought that you wanted. Then you’ll find out they weren’t really your dreams at all. It will feel like the end of the world, you will be confused and hurt, but I promise you it all works out in the end.

You’ll get married, and you will be happy. You’re going to have two amazing children that are going to be everything you wish them to be. There will be heartbreak too, you’ll wonder if you will ever make it through, but that pain will make you stronger, eventually.

You will have a daughter who is everything you wish you could have been — cute, popular, confident, quirky, and outgoing. She has all the qualities you would have hand-picked for yourself. She’s going to drive you crazy, but she has a passion for life that is going to amaze you. You’re going to be great friends when she’s older!

Your son is incredible, he is so much like you and he simply adores you. He’s clever and witty, and as he gets older his compassion and humor are going to win everyone over. He needs to find his own way through life, just like you did, but it’s clear that he’s going to do something amazing one day, and you’re always going to be his number one fan.

You are going to get sick, and it will lead to the end of your marriage. You’re going to think that you can’t go on, but you will. You need to keep trying, take it one day at a time. Once you hit rock-bottom, the only way is up, and this time, you get to take all the lessons that you’ve learned and make your life your own. One day you’ll start to see a glimmer of hope again. That may not sound like a silver lining, but it is.

One day, you will be truly, intrinsically happy, but you aren’t ready yet. You need to discover what it is you truly want. You have to go through the good and the bad times so that when you are ready, you can embrace your new life with confidence and enthusiasm. Oh, and your new life, it won’t look anything like you think it will — you’re going to be so impressed with yourself!

You will find someone new, and everything will fall into place. He is simply the most amazing man you have ever met. You will get married, but life is going to be different from what you imagine. Live your dream, and fight for your happiness. Stand up for what is right and what you believe in. You will know in your heart that he’s worth fighting for, that the life you have together is worth fighting for. Trust your heart and your new dreams.

People will hate your choices, and it’s going to cause you problems you can’t even imagine. You are going to struggle for a long time. Then one day, you are going to realize that you are happy again. You will know that things are going to be OK, and you have a new life ahead of you, better than you ever imagined. A life where you can be free and never worry about fitting-in again. A life filled with love, and joy, and excitement.

Today was that day. The day you absolutely knew that you will be OK.

Your struggles have made you brave and strong. No matter what anyone says about you, you finally understand who you are and the power you hold inside you. You grow into exactly who you want to be, but it takes time and patience. You will finally accept who you are, and you will grow strong enough to no longer be ashamed or embarrassed by what you want.

All those dreams you have that you think are fantasies, you’re going to live them!

One day, today, you will be on the cusp of your future, your new life. You get to start over, again. Just like you are starting your life now. There will still be fear, there will still be uncertainty. You’ll understand that the life you want will not always be easy, but it will be worth it. There will always be difficulties in life, but there will also be happiness and joy. That’s how life works, but overall there will be more good than bad, more joy than pain, and you will be happy.

The twenty years between where you are now and where you will be, teach you more about yourself than you ever realized there was to know. Savor the joy, and persevere through the hard times. You’ll get through it.

You’re here, in the future, and it’s finally going to be OK.