An Open Letter of Gratitude

I have been struggling with my mental health a little bit lately. OK fine, a lot. Yesterday and today were no exception. I was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder 8 years ago, and usually I manage pretty well. But these last few days have been hard for me.

I am on day 20 something of self-isolation as instructed by our local public health unit. I am sick, but don’t qualify for testing because of when my symptoms started. (Crazy right?) I am at home with my husband, four kids, dog and lizard. A lot of people would say it’s great that I am not alone and I am surrounded by family. But for someone like me, that in itself can be very triggering.

The constant noise, chaos, extra clutter, and virtually no time alone to be able to use the bathroom, let alone regroup can really take a toll on me mentally. But tonight, after getting the kids settled into bed for the night, I decided to take a quick peek at my stats and have a little scroll through the homepage. I came across this article written by Gillian Sisley and am so glad that I did.

Thank you Gillian for being there for me when I needed you, even if you didn’t know it. This article is such a gentle reminder that things are really hard right now, but there is nothing wrong with having my main goal for the day to be able to just get through the day and that it is OK to not be OK. You offered me reassurance when I really needed it. You made me stop and reflect on some things that I needed to take a step back and look at from a different angle. You made a difference.

Tonight I will go to bed proud of myself for not having a meltdown and turning into a blubbering mess, and for that you have my gratitude.

❤ Stay safe and take it one day at a time. ❤

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