A Letter I Wrote to a Finnish Woman I Love

Like her smile, I can never forget the heart-to-heart conversations I had with her

“Where were you yesterday? I was looking for you,” she told me. It was after the Christmas break at work in 2017. It was snowy and dark outside — the typical Finnish winter.

“Why were you looking for me? Did you miss me?” I asked her.

“I missed your smile,” she replied with her typical smile.

Her smile is enticing. I can never forget it.

How I Met Her

I met this charming Finnish woman in Finland. She was my colleague in a restaurant I worked at. She loves music and dancing, is of French descent, and lived in London when she was young.

She has whitish hair (the first distinct thing I noticed about her when I first met her in a country full of blonde women).

What I love the most about her is she can articulate romantic thoughts clearly in English (which is something I find irresistibly attractive in any woman).

She has the kind of sense of humour (which enables a person to weave elements of cultural quirks into the conversation) I quickly fall for.

We shared a bond that is inexplicable in words. I enjoyed talking to her so much.

We talked about Finland.

We talked about life.

We talked about music.

The synchronization of words we exchanged was flawless.

Like her smile, I can never forget the heart-to-heart conversations I had with her.

The Letter

Kultani, Muruseni, Rakkauteni, Auringonpaisteni

The last time I talked to you on the phone before I left Finland, you told me it was impossible to fall in love every day. I still remember this. This is so true.

I found love every day in your presence at Vallila. I fell in love with Finnish music. I practiced it every day. I learned how to sing romantic songs in Finnish. On top of all, I learned how to express love in the Finnish language.

I am still waiting to sing this song to a girl:

“Tuo mulle taivaalta kuusi kuuta (Bring me six moons from the sky) Paa Saturnuksen renkaat sormeeni mun (I will put the rings of Saturn on my finger) Mikään ei mun hulluuttani muuta (Nothing can change my madness) Siksi sinuun turvaudun (That is why I take shelter in you)”

It was very difficult in the beginning to learn Finnish music, but I did it finally.

You know how?

Because I have sisu! Because Finnish music is so beautiful. And because Finland is full of lovely women like you!

I was the happiest man in Finland when I saw you, Jukka, and Tommy every day at work. I laughed a lot every day because you guys were my family in Finland. You guys brought me joy every day.

You guys were my everything. Now I have nothing. I only have myself.

And I have this song:

“Miks kaikki kaunis katoaa? (Why does everything beautiful disappear?) Rakkaat viedään meiltä liian aikaisin (Loved ones are taken from us too early) En rauhaa sielulleni saa (I do not get peace for my soul) Vaik sut sydänmeeni silloin hautasin (Even though I buried you in my heart)”

I lived in Bangladesh for 30 years before I went to Finland. I grew up in Bangladesh. But I am still struggling to adjust to everyday life in Bangladesh since my return.

There is a saying that “home is where the heart is.”

That is what has happened to me.

I left my heart in Finland. Now, I feel like I am a refugee in Bangladesh.

I became so Finnish after I started working at Vallila. It happened because of you, because of Jukka, because of Tommy and because of some other wonderful people I met there.

I am eagerly waiting to meet you again. I am waiting to meet Robin again. I am waiting to meet Professor Timo Riiho again. I am waiting to meet Fredi and her partner (sorry, I forgot her name, but I have not forgotten what a lovely woman she is. Please tell her that I want to have a drink with her when I will come back to Finland) again.

And I am waiting to meet your good-looking, handsome Finnish husband again!

When I will meet you guys again, I will sing Finnish songs. I will express my love for you guys by singing in Finnish. We all will sing and dance together. And Robin will also be with us.

In return, I want nothing. I just want one thing.

I want you to hug me. I want you to give me a powerful hug. It will be so powerful that I will feel your love for me.

Because it is your warm hug that I miss more than anything else here in Bangladesh every day.

With love Mahmud

Early this year, I sent this letter to her through one of my Bangladeshi friends who is an expat in Finland.

Notes:

1. Kultani, muruseni, and rakkauteni (the addressing at the beginning of the letter) are terms of endearment in the Finnish language. They mean something like “my beloved.” Auringonpaisteni means “my sunshine.”

2. The English translations of the two verses from Finnish songs in the letter are not 100% accurate. As you can understand, it is not that easy to translate songs. You can listen to the first song here. I wrote about the second song here.

Finland celebrated its 100 years of independence from Russia in 2017.

That year, I worked on a project which involved talking to Finnish people about Finnishness. I interviewed 10 people who extensively discussed different aspects of Finnish culture, society, and history.

Read it here: