A Japanese Mother Hires a Father for Her Daughter

A complicated story of love and longing

Growing up without a father was difficult enough for Manna. Being bullied for not having one made life more unbearable for her. At the age of ten, she became withdrawn and didn’t even want to talk with her mother about her troubles with school bullies.

Her behaviour worried her mother, Hiromi. By talking to her daughter’s teachers, she found out that Manna was ostracized by her friends for not having a father and had no one to play with. Soon, she refused to go to school.

Hiromi had divorced her abusive husband soon after Manna was born. She didn’t want her daughter to grow up in a toxic environment. She never revealed to Manna that her father was abusive. All her daughter knew was that he left them when she was a baby.

Now heartbroken and desperate to save her daughter, Hiromi resorted to do something very drastic. She became obsessed with finding a kind man who could make Manna feel happy again. She was in a country (Japan) where it was legal to hire a “fake” father.

On the day Hiromi went to select a father to hire for her daughter, there were five candidates including Yuichi Ishii who ran the family rental business. She took her time talking to them one by one and found Yuichi easiest to talk to. After several meetings with Mr Yuichi, she told him her two requests: to apologize to her daughter for leaving her and to just listen to Manna.

Hiromi summoned the courage to tell her daughter. She said her father was remarried and had his own family now, but he wanted to reconnect with her. At first, Manna was completely shocked, though she eventually agreed to meet him.

On the day Yuichi came, Manna refused to leave her room. He entered and saw her hiding under a duvet. Yuichi started to talk about Arashi, a boy band pictured on a poster on the wall. Coincidentally, he happened to have been in one of the group’s music videos, which impressed Manna.

As the weeks went by, she became chattier and happier, and eventually decided to go back to school. One day, Hiromi asked Yuichi to accompany her on a parent’s day event at Manna’s school. Hiromi was so happy to see a huge smile on her daughter’s face each time she turned around to look at them. She then knew that her efforts had been worth it, even if it had cost her a fortune.

Each time she hired Yuichi, she had to pay 10,000 yen or about $100.

After some time passed, Manna asked to see Yuichi alone without her mother. He took her to Disneyland and she held his hand for the first time. As much as he felt conflicted about constantly telling lies to Manna, he reminded himself that it was a business and he had to play this role.

Hiromi also felt more and more attached to Yuichi and even fantasized about marrying him. She felt happier and at peace in his presence. When she told Yuichi about her feelings for him, he reminded her matter of factly that he was with them solely as a job.

Hiromi is still determined to keep hiring Yuichi as long as possible and is even considering asking him to attend her daughter’s wedding when she gets married.

He has agreed to keep on playing this role as long as Hiromi wants him to, though he knows that the stakes will get much higher when more people become involved. Ultimately, he hopes that Manna will recognize his contribution to her mental wellbeing and will be grateful to him for his service if or when she learns the truth.

Hiromi believes that she had to hire a “fake” father to save her daughter. At the time when she first made the decision, she saw no other alternative to draw her daughter out of her depression. She compares her decision to those of parents who adopt children or hire surrogate mothers. She reasons that they also hide what they did until the child reaches a certain age. But she also acknowledges that she might be in denial.

When I listened to the interview with Hiromi and Yuichi on the BBC Outlook episode Husband for Hire, I was astounded by the complicated nature of their story. Apparently, the demand for “family rental” businesses is growing in Japan due to pervasive loneliness and the unwillingness of people to open up and express their truth.

This is one of those stories that makes reality seem stranger than fiction. It also made me feel sad and left me asking more questions about society and culture. Why on earth was Manna bullied and ostracized for not having a father? Why didn’t adults in her life stop this bullshit behavior by her peers? If Manna were to learn the truth about her “father,” would she be, instead of grateful, traumatized?

Ultimately, doesn’t the bitterest of truth trump the sweetest of lies?

On the other hand, there is no doubt that both Manna and Hiromi have so far benefited from having Yuichi in their lives. Life is complicated and it tests us in many ways.

May we all be kind to each other.