FICTION | URBAN FANTASY | HALLOWEEN | MASH-UP
A Hell of a Party
Part 1 of A Hell of a Bedtime Story — Samantha drags her shy boyfriend, Alan, to his first Halloween party. Soon, he learns that even the monsters wear costumes.
“Don’t worry, Alan. This is not the campus of UC Sunnydale!”
Samantha laughed heartily when she saw Alan’s confused expression. The young, skinny nerd in the banana costume looked like an adorable comic character who got hit on the head. She only missed little birds and question marks circling him like a weird angle’s halo. His clueless puppy eyes looked at her through black-framed “Legend of Zelda” glasses.
“The University of California has another campus?”
She giggled and squeezed the hand holding hers. Although he probably didn’t realise it, they made for a sweet couple — the banana and the vampire queen.
“You’re so silly, sweety. It is a TV reference.”
He blushed at her words, still looking around anxiously.
“I-I’m sorry. I… uh … don’t get it.”
“It is a TV show about a young woman fighting vampires and demons. When she goes to college, monsters always hide in the bushes.”
“You think …,” he said, looking at the empty campus around them, dumbfounded, “there could be someone dangerous lurking here? A demon?!”
“Sweety, you look like I suggested you pay an elephant for a lap dance!”
“Eh … that is a joke, too, right?”
She smiled brilliantly at him, gently touched his cheek with her free hand, and pulled him closer for a long kiss. At first, Alan just stood there with his arms hanging down before he dared to hug and kiss her back.
“Ouch!”
“Sorry,” Samantha said sheepishly, “I forgot the plastic teeth.”
She released him from her embrace and nudged his shoulder.
“There won’t be demons jumping out of the bushes, Alan! You’ll be safe with me.”
“Okay. I-I feel like something is off tonight. Don’t you feel it?”
“No, silly. But the party is right around the corner there.”
Samantha pointed at a student throwing up at a crossing a few metres down the road.
“I only see a guy throwing up. Eek.”
“They are usually where the party is. You really didn’t get out much, did you?”
“No. I was homeschooled, and my siblings weren’t fun to be around,” he said and sighed, “That’s … uh … that’s why it’s so nice … I mean cool! That’s why it’s so cool to hang out with you.”
She smiled with sparkles in her eyes and dragged him over to the fraternity house around the corner. Alan was reluctant when he saw all the partying, mostly drunk students in their Halloween costumes, and realised that he was the only banana. But he also admitted that he couldn’t disappoint her and turn back. Alan decided to follow Samantha’s lead. He was sure she would help him navigate this new social encounter.
“What is that guy doing?!”
“It looks like he is walking in that beer stain,” Samantha said.
“But he only wears socks!”
“Frat party, sweety.”
“But where are his shoes?!”
“Rule №1 of the frat party: Don’t ask logic-related questions.”
Alan sighed and nodded, sure he didn’t understand anything happening here.
“I got to go to the powder room. Will you get along?”
Alan wrinkled his nose, confused at another expression he wasn’t familiar with. As always, he earned an honourary giggle for the cutest, clueless person. At least, that’s what she called it.
“The bathroom.”
“Ah! I’ll go too, and we’ll meet here, okay?”
Once she was gone, Alan tried to find the men’s bathroom. Navigating the wild party on his own felt like a huge challenge. Everybody seemed deadset on bumping into him. When he bumped into a broad-shouldered student wearing a football jacket, he realised it wasn’t okay to do it on purpose. Quickly, he fled into the next unlocked room.
“We call you, Drath’tar Xozath! We call you, Drath’tar Xozath!”
Wide-eyed, Alan looked at a group of young men in black robes. With their hoods pulled deep into their faces, it was impossible to recognise them. The room was dark, only lit by candles surrounding a giant circle of sigils drawn on the floor.
“We call you, Drath’tar Xozath! We … who the f*** are you?!” one of the men yelled at him.
“Uh … sorry … this is not the powder room, is it?”
“No! What are you doing here?”
“I … uh … nice candles. They are on fire, ha.”
“Yeah … our fire is on fire, moron.”
“W-what are you doing?!”
“Don’t worry. We are only here for the ritual.”
“What ritual?”
“We summon a trans-dimensional entity to help us avoid our troubles.”
“Drath’tar Xozath?” Alan said, “But he requires human sacrifice.”
“That’s why we throw this party, so he has humans to feast on! Hey? How do you ….”
The group's spokesman fell silent and joined his friends in staring open-mouthed at Alan. A 747 could have landed in his mouth while he watched Alan’s costume ripping to shreds as the scrawny nerd with curly hair transformed into a towering demon with two long horns and dark red and grey skin.
“It … it worked! You … you are … a-a-a ….”
“… a demon?” Alan said, his soft voice replaced by a threatening gnarl.
The students in their black robes fell on their knees, quivering and begging for his favour. Alan never understood why feeble-minded creatures would summon demons after all.
“W-will you help us avoid our problems, oh demonic lord?! Will you repay our student loans?”
“Yes, I will … What the heck?” Alan gnarled, tired of the frat boys, “you want to sacrifice all those people because … Didn’t you hear that saying, ‘people who live in glass houses shouldn’t butter no parsnips!’”
“W-what master?”
“Anyway … I will help you and spare your guests under one condition!”
“Y-yes, master?!”
“Never try to summon a demon again, especially not Drath’tar Xozath.”
Alan passed by the drunken guy in the beer-soaked socks on his way back to Samantha.
“Why aren’t you wearing shoes?”
“I’m a writer, baby!” the student bellowed.
Alan shrugged and walked over to Samantha, gently taking her hand.
“Oh, there you are, sweety,” her smile didn’t reach her eyes this time, “Are you okay? You look like you actually saw a demon.”
Alan answered with his most innocent smile and nervously straightened his glasses.
“For a moment, I-I thought my brother would be … eh … joining this party.”
“Your brother? It would be fun to meet your family.”
“Yeah … that would be a hell of a party.”
“Alan? What happened to your costume?”
“Oh … there were those frat boys who accidentally broke it. They gave me a cultist costume.”
“Won’t they need it?”
“Believe me,” Alan said and smiled crookedly, “they are done with the dark arts.”
This story is a very late response to Bradan Writes Stories’ Monday Mash-Up #7. I won’t get on the scoreboard anymore but let’s count the points for fun.
- Someone summons a trans-dimensional entity to help them avoid their problems. (2 points)
- Someone uses the excuse “I’m a writer” to justify something. (1 point)
- Someone is wearing socks and walks on the wet floor. (1 point)
- The fire is “on fire”. (1 point)
- Someone tries to do something malicious, but it turns out for the best. (1 point)
- Include a malaphor. (2 points)
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