6 Tips To Normalize The Non-Celebration of Holidays

Christmas and new year's eve can be regular days if you prefer

The end of the year is surrounded by celebrations for many people. It can be great, however, there are people who don't fit in those parties.

And then, it creates a stigma.

People whose all relatives passed away, others that don’t have a great relationship with the family, or simply, people who don't enjoy the holidays. And I mean any of them from any culture.

These people are seen as aliens or miserable. And it sucks.

Fact is, it's pretty fine to spend these days doing other stuff, without the obligation to treat it as a special day.

Also, people should feel free to be sad on these days without feeling guilt.

Yeah, these holidays can bring sad or nostalgic memories. Those who face it and are not comfortable being surrounded by a dozen people should have the right to stay reserved.

Stop forcing people to fake behave

Be happy and party. Be happy and party. Be happy and party. "I am the happiest robot in the world."

This is the behavior people used to expect from those who they like during holidays.

"Oh, you cannot be sad." or "Why didn't you decorate your house?"

The intention can be good but the pressure is very annoying.

People have different tempers, experiences and they should be allowed to make their own choices based on that.

If we can't magically change the person's reality, we must not induce them to feel self-pity or worst because they are not attending to the expectations.

Holidays are also days of many uncomfortable interactions and we need to change that.

The 6 tips that can make all the difference

1. Free dear ones from the obligations of the holidays if you care about them

If you have relatives who mentioned that they are uncomfortable partying, don't force them. Instead of saying: "Change this mood. People are expecting to see you there." Say: "If you are not comfortable to party, you don't need to go. I just want you to know that your company will be missed but we won’t be disappointed with you."

2. Do not treat non-festive people as inadequate

If you have friends that never join these celebrations don't treat them like a weirdo. Instead of saying: "Are you sure you were born on Earth?" Say: "Have a nice evening, dear. If you need something, call me."

3. Party people can opt for quiet holidays once in a while — Respect that!

If people who always join the parties say that this year they would prefer to do something else, it should be treated as a normal thing. Instead of saying: "Oh no! This is unacceptable. You will celebrate!" Say: "Alright. You can do whatever you want. No worries. But if you change your mind, you know where to go. And if you need to talk, I'm here. I don't mind leaving the party to give you attention, okay?"

4. Don’t make lonely people feel sorry for themselves

If you have friends that have a lonely life, don't make them feel self-pity. Instead of saying: “The holidays for you are terrible, hum? I don’t know how you can handle it every year.” Say: “Do you want to join the celebration with my relatives and other friends tonight? It will be nice to have you there with us.” If the person says “Yes”, great. If the person says “No”, it’s great too. And if they don’t accept, you should not insist too much. Say: “Okay. Whatever you want, dear. But if you change your mind, you know where to go.”

5. You have the right to set boundaries to stop inconvenient acts

If you are the person that doesn't want to celebrate the holidays, you can ask people to respect your decision. Instead of saying: "Okay. I will be there." — while thinking that it will be a pain. Say: "Thank you for your invitation, but I don't want to join. I don’t mean to offend you in any way with my decision. This is only personal. I really hope you have a great time there."

6. People who feel insecure about interacting during a pandemic should not be mocked

If someone is not prepared to join parties, sharing room with other people, because of the pandemic (it makes perfect sense), this person must not be mocked. Instead of saying: "Stop overreacting. This is paranoia. You already took the vaccine. Furthermore, nobody there is sick." Say: "I understand you. You are right. We can make a video conference later!"

Making a friend feel comfortable with their current situation and offering help if they need can be a much better approach. The same way you may treat yourself.

Millennials embrace Boomers

The generation of our parents is full of obligations. Obligations that are just in their mind.

New generations are coming with the statement "I don’t have to do this if I don't want." And I think it brings a better balance.

Although we need to make some sacrifices sometimes, I don't think we need to "entertain the guests" always. Convention overhead can be significantly reduced.

So I would like to say to all boomers or influenced by them:

Feel free to do whatever you want during holidays— as long as it’s not a crime lol — and get used to thinking that nobody is obligated to celebrate and be happy these days.

You can be lonely, be sad, be regular. Cry. Dance alone. Eat while watching TV. Drink beer talking to a friend on Google Meets wearing a robe. It's okay.

Free yourself and others.

Happy regular day! :) *Sending a virtual hug*