A Great Writer Today, An Imposter Tomorrow

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Abstract

riter is extremely hard as art is so subjective — I can solve a math problem and I’ll know if it’s correct or not, but there is no right and wrong in art.It doesn’t matter how much of my heart and mind I put into a poem, how hard I work on an article, it’s simply impossible to create something that everyone will love (or hate, to be honest). Every single writer has proof of that.And I literally have no idea if I’m pretty average or if I need to completely give up. I mean, are my friends and family lying to me when they say they like my story? For all I know, I could be absolutely amazing or I could be the worst writer that has ever written anything, and honestly, I can’t tell.So the moment I got something that combined numbers and art — Medium, my brain exclaimed: “That’s it! Now

Options

we can determine if you suck and how much exactly!”And I got addicted. I’ve been writing on here since July 2020 and the amount of time I spent on my stats’ page in the first week is embarrassing. I’ve gotten better with time, of course, but… Oh, how that affects my mood!So yesterday I got a lot of views and so many claps and responses. Wow, I must be awesome.But today no one seems to be reading… Why am I even trying?I fully realize that it’s wrong and unhealthy and I am obsessing over something that means very little to my actual skills. But… How do you help yourself when it’s so addicting?Well, I am getting used to not thinking about it.But also, it’s one of the better things I’ve obsessed over.</article></body>

All depends on my statistics apparently

The enormous weight I put on my stats to determine whether I’m going to feel awful or amazing seems really funny to me now. I’m completely dependent on that page with the pretty green columns. And I need to rant.

Building confidence as a writer is extremely hard as art is so subjective — I can solve a math problem and I’ll know if it’s correct or not, but there is no right and wrong in art.

It doesn’t matter how much of my heart and mind I put into a poem, how hard I work on an article, it’s simply impossible to create something that everyone will love (or hate, to be honest). Every single writer has proof of that.

And I literally have no idea if I’m pretty average or if I need to completely give up. I mean, are my friends and family lying to me when they say they like my story? For all I know, I could be absolutely amazing or I could be the worst writer that has ever written anything, and honestly, I can’t tell.

So the moment I got something that combined numbers and art — Medium, my brain exclaimed: “That’s it! Now we can determine if you suck and how much exactly!”

And I got addicted. I’ve been writing on here since July 2020 and the amount of time I spent on my stats’ page in the first week is embarrassing. I’ve gotten better with time, of course, but… Oh, how that affects my mood!

So yesterday I got a lot of views and so many claps and responses. Wow, I must be awesome.

But today no one seems to be reading… Why am I even trying?

I fully realize that it’s wrong and unhealthy and I am obsessing over something that means very little to my actual skills. But… How do you help yourself when it’s so addicting?

Well, I am getting used to not thinking about it.

But also, it’s one of the better things I’ve obsessed over.