A Great Teacher: Failure

Summary

The article discusses the importance and value of learning from personal failures.

Abstract

The author reflects on their journey with failure, emphasizing that it is a powerful teacher. Initially, they struggled with the shame and frustration of not meeting expectations, but they came to understand that failure is an inevitable part of life and personal growth. The article outlines key lessons learned from the author's experiences, including the realization that one cannot please everyone, the acceptance that not everything is within one's control, the importance of not fearing mistakes, and the recognition that failures often lead to the most profound learning experiences. The author encourages readers to embrace failure as a necessary step towards success and personal development.

Opinions

The author believes that the pressure to meet personal and external expectations can be overwhelming and lead to frustration and embarrassment.
They argue that it is impossible to fulfill all responsibilities perfectly and that the pursuit of perfection to satisfy others is a source of distress.
The author suggests that success should be pursued for personal satisfaction rather than to meet the expectations of others.
They contend that life is unpredictable and that despite one's best efforts, some outcomes are beyond our control.
The author posits that mistakes and failures should not be feared, as they are an essential part of learning and growth.
They highlight that the lessons learned from failures can be more valuable than those from successes.
The author encourages a mindset where taking action, making mistakes, and learning from them is seen as a success in itself.

What Can You Learn From Failures?

If it was me five years ago, I would be angry with myself, blame myself, and embarrassed to confess that I failed. I’m not sure whether I was frustrated for not being able to meet my own expectations about myself, or I was embarrassed by someone else learning my failure. Even though I am not sure which one was the reason, I know that both of them were equally cruel to me.

In this article, I want to tell you what I learned from my failures, how it changed me, and how can you change by your failures. These lessons were not what I suddenly realized, rather what I learn is coming from a deep burden that I was not able to deal with. I think it is easier to learn when you do not have another option.

1- You can’t make everyone happy

When I was a child, my only responsibility was doing my homework; as I grew up, my responsibilities towards my family, my friends, and my boyfriend started to increase. No matter how hard I try to fulfill all of these responsibilities, it has never been perfect, well, who can do every responsibility in life perfectly? But of course, it is not always easy to realize this.

I always saw my responsibilities at school as my duty to my family and to myself, so I always worked hard. In one of those times of hard work, a friend of mine told me that I did not spare enough time for her, and this tiny raindrop became a huge sea for me and I felt like I was drowning. No matter what I did, I couldn’t make anyone happy.

This small incident has been a great teacher for me because it taught me that you cannot make everyone happy. We all want to be good at something, but the important point is why we want to be successful in it. If you study to make your family and friends happy by your success in school and think that you owe this to them, you will only increase your frustration during even a tiny failure. However, here we, ourselves, are the person that we should try to make happy. Because at the end of the day, you cannot make all the people around you happy.

2- You can’t control everything

Believe me, it took me a long time to learn this. When I was preparing for the university exam, there was only one school I wanted to enter and it was accepting students with a very high grade. During my high school education, I worked hard to enter that specific school. My lessons, my exam grades, my knowledge were all well above what they should have been, and nothing could go wrong. At least that’s what I thought.

But in real life, it doesn’t work that way. An equation that you have established in a world where billions of people live in fact has millions of variables and you can only keep part of yourself fixed. As a matter of fact, I could not enter the school I wanted as a result of anxiety during the exam. This was a very embarrassing and sad situation for me at that time. I had failed. But I knew that I did everything I could. If you are angry with yourself why you did not get the result you wanted, even though you did everything right, do not forget the equation, you cannot control everything, including your inner state.

3- Do not be afraid to make mistakes

When you look at the great success stories, you will hardly see someone who was successful in a very short period of time. Even a baby has to fall over and over to learn how to walk. Likewise, maybe we fall over and over again, we get tired, or someone makes us fall. But every mistake you make teaches you and improves you.

Today, if someone asks you who you are, you will tell them about your school, profession, and achievements after your name and age. None of us say our failures to the question of who we are. But actually there are moments of wounds, desperation, and moments of getting up and continuing after the failure that causes us to become to the person we are today. Sometimes there are moments of showing the courage to give up. I used to be scared of making mistakes, but over the years I’ve learned that making mistakes does not always have to be bad. Failure can sometimes open other doors for you, and the lesson you learned while failure may be worth more than accomplishing that job successfully.

4- Sometimes we learn most from our failures.

I do not remember where did I saw this quotation or who said it but I love this quotation:

Maybe it shouldn’t be so easy to learn to remember better!