A fondant fancy
Picture by permission Divine Feminine 1111
I knew you when your eyes were blue
A handsome boy
Surfing your days away
You travelled the world
Rejected her love and mine.
I sat you down and soothed your mind.
I didn’t know then
But I know now
That your mind was torn back then
Transfixed an addicts hue.
As the years go by
I have felt with my pain
The only one lover
To leave me so I could gain
Your words pressed hard
On my body and mind
Im leaving so you can grow
Take the pain .. I’m being kind.
At my tender age of seventeen
A marriage proposal off another
Guy on his knees.
Yet all I wanted was reciprocal
Love
Not to be pushed to uni
Or some others lovers arms
To be touched.
I faded his memory
Over time it didn’t hurt
He loved me so much
Yet somehow I knew
I needed to disperse.
So many years after
About 30 I met him again
A shadow of his former self
Trash in a bin
His demeanour was untrustworthy
His body was battered
With years of drug taking
In Columbia , New Zealand and anywhere
Else he gathered.
We spoke of his life and what a mess it had been
He had no regrets of following
His drug adventure and dream
No kids. No genuine lovers.
Just cheap thrills all these years
A dopamine addict
With a perching for beautiful thinks
You look at him now
A shadow of his former beauty
A remarkable lesson
To make better choices in life , lovers and your bounty.
A fondant fancy
Sweet and satisfying on the outside
Beautiful when they are freshly baked
Yet
Over time they crumble
Their colours fade
They become mouldy
Yet there is another path
Feed them to someone
And they nourish each other
Symbiotic understanding
Growth and wonder
Regret is more painful than
I have none
I took my freedom
From him and every lover that was wrong .
I made peace with my heart
Time and time again
Till I ended up indifferent
To marriage , masculinity and men.
Yet my heart has softened
In more recent times
Just to find the same old story
Where men can be blind
To adventure and dopamine
And not realised
That the best thing in their lives
Is a connection that’s true and kind.