A finger injury that changed my life
It was a distinct pop from my finger. I knew that sound, and it’s bad news. Immediately came a second pop and I knew I was in trouble. It wasn’t supposed to be a difficult bouldering route. I was reaching from the start to the next grip, though small it had a decent hold. I thought my footing was stable, but apparently, something slipped, and my fingers bent to an open grip, something I warn newcomers of. It was too much, and the annular ligaments on my index finger tore apart.
The immediate effect was having to stop bouldering for the day. An unwise person may assume that the lack of significant pain meant it wasn’t a significant injury. Of course, pushing the sport further at that time would risk worsening the injury. I sat back and watched others.
I coincidentally had an appointment at the orthopedic doctor a few days later, on Friday. I’d be waiting until then before I did anything with my finger. I taped it up, left it immobile, and waited for a diagnosis. I already knew that bouldering would be out for a while. I’d heard that disturbing pop before, but the second pop had me worried.
Friday came, and I let the doctor have a look. She did some passive bending which looked okay and was relatively painless. Of course, I was currently taking painkillers for another injury, so the extent at what it really hurt was unknown. An ultrasound revealed evidence of damage to two ligaments. She requested I get an MRI. Luckily, and this is uncommon, they called for me, and I got an appointment two hours later. I took it and booked a followup here on Monday.
I’d never had an MRI on my hand before. The machine was quaint. It’s like the standard MRI but scaled down to just allow an arm inside. My hand was packed in foam and bands — it was just missing the Amazon box to make it complete. I stuck it into the machine, got my headphones, and laid back for 20 minutes, trying to ignore the annoying sounds.
The resident doctor had a look at the results to give his limited diagnosis. He confirmed damage to two annular ligaments. These are the ligaments that hold the primary ligaments in place as they curl and extend the finger. Injury to any other ligament in the finger would have been awful news, but still, it didn’t sound that good. He, and the previous doctor already, prepped me for surgical treatment.
I didn’t like the prospects of surgery. It’s more the anesthetic that scares me than somebody picking at the inner bits of my finger. I’d for sure be getting a second opinion on that. To me, that first means scouring the internet. I found numerous references to this type of injury. Universally the prognosis of multiple ligament injuries was surgery — like it was just too much for them to both heal on their own.
The prospects kept me up over the weekend. My finger injury prevented many activities, thus giving me lots of time to fret.
Monday came with relief. The doctor’s opinion was that, given the two ligaments involved, the finger had a chance to recover on its own. Well, she was reasonably confident. She’d confirm that opinion with a local surgical professor and get back to me if his opinion differed.
I was at least happy for the moment. The fact I had an injury was secondary to the relief of not needing surgery. Since I never got a call, I had to assume the second opinion was good. I admit my direction of bias here is kind of strong. Had the result been surgery, I’d immediately go to another doctor, probably go best of three. But with a conservative treatment option, I was just accepting it!
Reality came back quickly as I looked at my taped up fingers. Little did I realize now how much of an impact it’d have on my life.
Six weeks not using my left ring finger, can’t be that bad, can it? Sure, I’d have to give up my favourite sport of bouldering — a short hiatus is better than risking permanent injury and giving it up forever.
When I got my diagnosis, I was initially happy that I had a non-surgical treatment and pleased with the prospect of being able to boulder again. I wasn’t thinking about the other problems this would cause.
First on the list of problems was typing. Having two fingers taped together, and not being allowed to use them creates a significant problem. Those two fingers are responsible for 8 keys. Worse, with them out of commission my pointer finger would have to pick up the slack. I wasn’t about to give up typing though — it’s kind of a big part of my life.
Second up was the studio. I like weight lifting. It’s my goto sport after bouldering. I’d recently increased mt frequency from once a week to 3–4 times a week; I had moved, and it made it more convenient to go. That was out. My left hand would not be holding any weights.
Time to pick up yoga. Two problems here. I don’t find yoga exciting, I kind of have to force myself to do it. Secondly, there are a lot of moves which put pressure on the fingers. That wasn’t allowed. An abbreviated form of yoga is even less exciting to me than the full form.
The supermarket is up next. I always carry a basket around. It’s about how much fits in my backpack, plus it adds a bit more physical activity to my day, even if just a little. I couldn’t carry it with my left hand though. No problem, I’ll switch to the right. Great, up until I grab a product with my left side. No surprise, the middle and ring finger play an essential role in that. I’d have to be careful, and just avoid buying heavy things.
Incidentally, I was shopping for cookie supplies. I had a friend coming over the next day to bake some. Guess what else I couldn’t do? I couldn’t open the jar of coconut oil we needed. I don’t think I’ve ever asked for help opening a jar before. I was not amused by her playful laughter (actually I was, since humour is rule number one in life, so I’m totally okay laughing at myself).
Turns out washing dishes is also a problem. Okay, I’ll just use the dishwasher for small loads as well. It’s not laziness, it’s a medical reason!
The list goes one. I can’t properly fold clothes. I can’t properly use a mop, carry a bucket and clean the floor. The delivery guy came with a stack of packages, I took them one at a time, and placed them on the ground. One remaining box from my move still sits in my entryway, as I’m unable to move it to the basement. I had the pleasure of standing by like an idiot as other people “helped” move my furniture. Hell, even washing my hair became challenging. And I have to be careful about riding my bike.
On that note, I almost got run over by a bus, which required quick reflexes to tightly grab the brakes. Of course, with an injured finger, tightly clutching brakes, despite being necessary, harms the recovery process. My finger was quite sore after. I think that’s the first time I openly swore at an incompetent bus driver. One would think watching for green lights would be a prerequisite for the job. But I digress.
I wasn’t really expecting this level of impact on my life. The biggest issue is the loss of sports. It’s part of who I am, it’s part of my relaxation and metal winding down. Taking that away complicates my diet, makes it harder to sleep, makes it harder to clear my mind.
The mind-altering aspect hit me only after several weeks. It wasn’t apparent at first, but I just started feeling really down. The yoga, and running, was not enough to replace the high-intensity exercise which I apparently need.
A nagging feeling bugs me constantly. My finger has become my nemesis and is taking the blame for everything. The tape starts to feel like shackles. Whenever I take it off, I get this sweet sense of relief. It’s a far more powerful feeling than I thought could be possible for such a minor change.
Fortunately, the injury is temporary. Once healed it will take time to get back into my sports, but knowing there is an end to this phase makes it easier, or at least bearable. I just have to be sure not to get too excited, and overdo it. Once eight weeks are past, I need to ease back into sports, which will also be easing me back into my normal life.