A Final Plea to My Trump Supporting Friends

Back in a time we can hardly recall, we followed a quaint cliché. When we visited family for the holidays we were told not to talk about religion or politics. We might have thought such a restriction ridiculous. What else should we be talking about? On the other hand, perhaps there was wisdom in the old saw. Sure, there might be personal reasons why we’d be upset at family gatherings, like when Aunt Pain-In-The-Butt would point out that you gained weight, or Uncle Drunkle would get out of hand. But, overall, we’d all get along and have a fine time.

With the advent of social media it is not possible to follow that dictum. Now, we know all too much about what Cousin Crackpot thinks. We know more about our friends and relatives than we ever did and sadly, much of this has split us apart. But there is as much hidden as revealed in this way. We used to find the things that united us as a way for us all to be in the same room. Even if you rooted for the Patriots and I for the Giants, we all agreed that the game was a good one. Occasionally, even today, you can catch glimpses of what connects us on social media. Both my friends on the left and the right love the music I post. No arguments that Michael McDonald’s version of I Shall Be Released is stirring!

As a result of the limited nature of what we know of others in this way, we tend to lose nuance and distinction. Those on the left see all Trump supporters as deluded and evil and the right sees the same of the other side. Now let’s get this out of the way. As you probably already know, I’m Blue all the way. So, my job, as far as I’m concerned, is not to lump all the Reds into one bucket. I look to see what makes each of my Trump-loving friends different. Some are old Goldwater Republicans, some are very pro-Israel, some like his policies but not the man, some just seem to take pleasure in getting under my skin. I also try to remember that if we were hanging out and I didn’t know their politics we might have a great time together making music. They are probably kind to their grandkids and would laugh at my jokes.

Even if I want to judge, I also know that I have been a jerk many times in the past. I try to be a good person now and I think I do a pretty good job. But don’t ask my kids about that. So you see, I’m complex, too. To my Trump friends I ask of you what you want from me. Don’t make assumptions about me just because you don’t understand my politics. I know that it is just as upsetting for you when you feel judged or defined as it is for me so I try my best not to do it. So please grant me the same consideration.

There are a few other things I would like to say to my Trump loving friends as we approach this election. If you can accept that I am a good person, as I do you, I am asking you to see all the Blue people — the rest of my friends — in the same way. We don’t want to hurt you, or the country. We are really coming from a place of passionate love for the land that is ours. I know what is in my heart, like you know what is in yours. Let me assure you — I, my friends, and our candidates are not planning on having a communist dictatorship, or ending capitalism, or burning the suburbs, or storming the White House, eat or abuse Christian children, using Covid for political purposes, or having sex with cows. (All things I’ve read on social media.) Just like you we want safety, health, and prosperity. If we dug deep, we probably want more of the same things than not.

Many would tell me that taking the time to write this long post and make the following request is a fool’s errand and given the reactions I have gotten in the past in trying to reach you all, one could make a good argument that such is the case. But in the end, I simply can’t give up on you or our country. The election is in two days and I have to try one more time. I have to be able to tell my children that I did everything I could.

I’m asking you to assume that I am a good person, coming from a good place, that I’m thoughtful, caring and serious. That I believe in a search for truth and humble in the knowledge that I could be wrong. And that this is all true for all those people you know who are Blue. You want to be treated seriously, and so do we. At root, we are a family, we are stuck together at the national dinner table, so we better be able to figure out how to get along.

Here’s the big ask. If you haven’t voted yet and you plan to, before you vote, think about me and my Blue friends. I know you are good. I know you have loving hearts. I’m asking you to step out of your comfort zone and everything you read and hear and look at that mirrors your view. Ask yourself, why would this guy care THIS much, to write this, to beseech someone who probably doesn’t want to hear it and when it probably won’t make a difference. The reason I’m doing this is because I believe in our American family, I believe in people, I believe in you.

When you go into the voting booth, think of all the things you call “fake news” over the last four years. Maybe it hasn’t been fake at all. Nothing is harder than hearing that the person you gave your heart to has betrayed you all these years. And usually, when we hear that, we want to kill the messenger. Even as I know there is a good chance you will reject me out of hand, I am willing to make a fool of myself and incur your wrath, for your sake, for all of our sakes.

When you go in that voting booth, search your conscience. In the privacy of that moment, it is only you and your god. I trust that the deepest part of you knows the right thing to do. It is never too late. Think about me and all those you used to sit around the table with and laugh with, who you are no longer connected to because of this stuff. Search your heart for the true and the good. It will take a great deal of courage to do that. I know you can do the right thing. I’m praying for it. I’ll see you on the other side and do my best to love you either way.