A Different Me

A poem on gender dysphoria

Once again I dreamed of another version of me A person who is uninhibited and free Who uses their body as they desire Without hiding it behind a baggy attire

This person in my dreams fully accepts And graciously embraces and respects The shape of their body and its curves As it floats through the world and it observes

All the sensations that slowly melt into one And merge in a body that has just begun Exploring all corners of the pleasure dome Where every embrace feels like home

I wrote this poem earlier today, while reflecting on a dream I had last night. This dream was similar to others in the past, but a crucial difference was that I didn’t experience any gender dysphoria while in the dream.

The dysphoria hit me hard when I woke up though, which is why I spent some extra time to reflect on it.

I would love to be able to magically acquire a body that would look gender-less. But I know that this is not possible. I would also love to live in a world where others wouldn’t assume a person’s gender based on what their body looks like. But I know that this is not possible either.

This poem is not as dark as the one I had written 7 years ago, but they were both triggered by a similar event: A romantic hug from a very cute woman. However, in the case of the poem written in 2015, the hug left me feeling bad about myself due to that woman’s denial towards my gender identity and her continuous (intentional) misgendering after the hug.

In the case of the poem above, I was even surprised with myself that I felt comfortable enough to allow a person that I don’t know very well to hug me. But it really helped that I didn’t feel the need to prove what I am or what I am not. It’s great when I feel that I can “just be” without feeling judged.