Humor. Mostly.
A Day in the Writer’s Life
A lightly edited stream-of-consciousness grim fairy tale of minimal productivity
Hey, work on my latest story has gone really well! I’ll set it aside for a while and come back later for a re-read before submitting it. Meanwhile, I’ll check to see if the previous one’s been published yet.
No? Still? Why are the editors sitting on it? Do they hate it? Will they try to hack it apart? What’s going on?
Look, worrying about that isn’t doing any good. Settle down to work. But first, just a quick check on the stats to see how the latest published one is doing.
Wow, look at that, it’s going really well! I’m starting to get the hang of this. I feel inspired, better get some writing done.
Hmm, the words aren’t flowing. No sense just sitting here, I’ll take a break. And check those stats again.
Well, not much change from before. And still nothing on the one I submitted. Dammit, why aren’t the editors responding?
Yo dumbass, remember that the point of writing is to write? You’re more like a sit-and-stare-at-screen-er at this point. Better get some actual work done.
Wait, there’s an email. The editors finally published that piece. It’s really good, I’m sure it will do great. Now, just a quick check of the stats before I get back to work.
Hey, how come I haven’t had any new reads for the last hour? That one story was doing well before.
Look, sitting here not getting any writing done and obsessively checking my stats isn’t healthy. I’ll go clean the kitchen.
Wow, I just had an amazing idea! This will make a great story! I’d better stop cleaning and go get started on it before I forget.
Okay, I’ve made solid progress on that one. Finally some real work done, being productive feels fantastic! I guess it’s okay to take a break and peek at my stats again.
Wait, that new piece still has only two views? What the hell, it’s really well done. It should get more than that just by accident!
Sigh. I guess I have to face reality: Medium hath spoken, I’m just not funny. I thought I was, but apparently not.
C’mon man, sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t any use. The key to writing is to write, right? Just put words on paper, whether they’re good or not. But a quick stats check for inspiration before I start, maybe something is happening.
That’s odd, one of my past stories suddenly has more views than it did before. I wonder if it was curated?
It was! Which is cool, except it’s already a week old and to find it on the publication you have to scroll down for like 15 minutes. Thanks, Medium.
Well, if I’m not going to get anything else done I should get on that reread of the latest piece.
Hell, this thing isn’t finished, it’s a mess! What’s with all these typos? And I’ve used the word “exacerbate” four times in five sentences. I thought it was almost ready to submit, now I’ll have to tear it down and really dig in.
Hey, the editing on my latest story has gone really well! I’ll set it aside for a while and come back later for a re-read before submitting it.