A Day in the Life of an Office Worker

Summary

The narrative depicts a day in the life of an office worker who engages in petty theft, deception, and resource hoarding while maintaining a facade of normalcy at work.

Abstract

The article "A Day in the Life of an Office Worker" presents a semi-fictional account of a typical workday for an office employee with questionable ethics. The protagonist, a smoker who deceives his wife about his habit, begins his day by borrowing a coworker's jacket to avoid the smell of smoke. He then helps himself to office supplies, including a pen belonging to a coworker named Anna, and takes food from the office pantry. The worker's unethical behavior continues as he steals paper clips from a colleague and appropriates a stapler, justifying his actions with flimsy excuses. Despite a minor confrontation with a coworker named Bob over the stolen stapler, the worker ends his day on a positive note, looking forward to the next day. The author invites readers to share their own peculiar workplace stories and expresses gratitude for support during a recent absence.

Opinions

The protagonist views his coworkers as lazy, referring to them as "lazy bastards" for being late.
The worker has a dismissive attitude towards Anna's personalized pen, considering her concern for her belongings as "stupid."
The protagonist feels entitled to office resources, taking more than needed and even hoarding items for personal use.
He shows a lack of respect for personal property, going as far as to rummage through a coworker's desk when she is not there.
The worker is manipulative, lying to Bob about keeping his stapler safe, with no intention of returning it.
He rationalizes his theft of A4 paper as a contribution to the company's paperless initiative, suggesting a self-serving interpretation of corporate policies.
The protagonist has a cynical view of his coworker's actions, such as labeling an air freshener, as selfish and amusing.
Despite the day's events, he remains in good spirits and looks forward to returning to the office, indicating a level of comfort with his behavior.

Semi-Fiction

It is a chilly Monday morning and you are dying for a smoke. You are wearing your jacket as your workplace is extremely cold but there is no way in hell that you are smoking with your own jacket on. The last thing you need is a jacket that reeks of cigarette smoke. After all, your wife is under the impression that you have quit smoking for three years. There is no need to tell her the truth now or even give her any reason to doubt your words. You look around the office. It is still quite empty as many of your coworkers are late for work. Those lazy bastards. You spot someone’s jacket on a chair so you decide to wear it instead of your own.

After your smoking session, you feel refreshed and ready for work. You take off your coworker’s jacket and fling it casually across his desk. He is still not in the office yet. You look at the desk to his and notice that there are three black pens on it. Who on earth needs that many pens? You take one for yourself as it will save you the trouble of ordering it from the Office Admin.

You shuffle to your desk and start working, or at least pretending to work. One of your work friends come over to have a chat. You talk about a fancy car that you saw on the road the other day and make a sketch of it to explain its cool features. As you do so, your buddy exclaims, “Hey, did you take Anna’s pen? It has her name on it.” You look at the pen in your hand and notice that it has a label with fancy lettering “A-n-n-a” in cursive. That silly girl! Is she worried about people taking her stuff? You tear off the paper label and laugh, “That’s so stupid. Well, it’s not hers anymore.”

The two of you then head to the office pantry to have some snacks. You bring along a medium-sized plastic bag to fill it with instant noodles, coffee and cookies to bring home later. You notice that there are no fancy cookies anymore. You used to take the whole box home each time they refill the pantry supplies. The cheapskates must have been tightening the budget for the department. It doesn’t really matter though. You take whatever is available to you as you are not picky when it comes to food.

It is then time for lunch and after that, you finally settle to do some actual work at about 3.00 PM. Your supervisor has been nagging you to send some documents to a client for a couple of days now so you might as well do it today. You arrange the papers neatly and after doing so, you realise that you have forgotten to order binder paper clips from the Office Admin. You ask your coworker who sits in front of you if she could give you one of hers but she claims that she doesn’t have any. What a selfish prick! You wait until she goes to the restroom and then you rummage through her desk and take all of her paper clips. That’ll teach her.

After putting all the documents into a big brown envelope, it is already 5.00 PM. It’s time to call it a day. Your coworker, Bob who sits next to you has left his stapler on the desk so you casually pick it up and put it in your drawer. Just your luck that he catches you in the act. You tell him that you are keeping it for him just in case someone takes it and when he insists that you return it, you say that you have already locked your drawer and he can take it tomorrow. Of course, you’re not giving it back to him tomorrow but you’re counting on the fact that he might not remember. He looks annoyed and says that he would report you to the supervisor tomorrow if you don’t return it. So petty and childish.

Before leaving the office, you take two stacks of A4 paper and put it in your backpack. The company is going towards the paperless direction anyway, so you are actually helping them to reduce paper usage in the office.

From the corner of your eye, you spot an aerosol spray air freshener on the floor under a desk. You chuckle to yourself as this silly person has written her name all over the metal can. Obviously she doesn’t want to share. People can be so selfish. You take it and stuff it into your almost-full backpack.

All in all, it has been a good day at the office except for that minor incident with Bob but you are not going to let him ruin your mood. In fact, you look forward to going to work tomorrow.

The main character is actually a mix of interesting real life people that I’ve met throughout my working life. Do you have any weird stories to share about your coworkers?

P.S. Thank you to everyone who reached out to me during my 2 weeks absence on Medium. I feel so loved. Anyway, I’d just been busy with work but right now I’m battling a cold. 🤒 It’s the third day so hopefully it clears up soon. I can’t wait to read your stories again! 😊

If you enjoyed this post and would like to support me, please buy me a coffee as the MPP is not available in my country. Thank you very much! https://ko-fi.com/samtzelin

Feel free to follow me on Twitter & Instagram!