Summary

The website content is a humorous creative brief for composing a direct message (DM) to the author's internet crush, with a tight deadline of three minutes, detailing the project's context, purpose, target audience, and desired outcomes.

Abstract

The author of the article is seeking assistance in crafting an engaging and charming DM to their internet crush, having consumed an amount of wine that has emboldened them to make contact. The brief is directed to a trusted friend with a history of providing sound romantic advice, despite the author's tendency to follow their own, less prudent course of action. The deliverable is a single, well-crafted message that should elicit a positive response from the crush, with the ultimate goal of initiating a conversation that could potentially lead to a romantic relationship. The author emphasizes the need for the message to be cool, calm, and collected, yet flirtatious, and outlines a range of messages sent in past attempts at connecting with crushes, which have been limited to emoji reactions on Instagram Stories. The ideal response from the crush is envisioned as immediate and enthusiastic, with a more realistic acceptable response also considered.

Opinions

The author acknowledges their propensity for making impulsive romantic decisions, often disregarding the more sensible advice of their friend.
There is a self-awareness of the cliché nature of the situation, as the author jokes about their flexibility as a potential message topic and the influence of wine on their decision-making.
The author values the insights and creativity of their friend, as evidenced by the detailed brief provided for what is typically a spontaneous and personal communication.
There is a humorous exaggeration in the desired response from the crush, ranging from an idealized declaration of mutual affection to a more casual acknowledgment.
The author humorously notes the success of public figures like Lizzo in similar situations, which may have inspired their own attempt to reach out to their crush.
Despite the lighthearted tone, there is an underlying vulnerability and hopefulness in the author's willingness to put themselves out there, coupled with the fear of rejection or being ignored.

A Creative Brief For Composing A DM To My Crush

Deadline: in the next three minutes, please.

Thank you for taking on this assignment! I know it’s short notice, but as your very close friend, it’s time you just expected this from me. In the creative brief below, you’ll find all the details about my highly anticipated, wine-soaked attempt to make my crush finally notice me.

Client: Me, someone who knows how to string words together and articulate her feelings, but prefers the insight of those who have helped guide many of her romantic decisions in the past––both triumphant and pitiful.

Assigned to: My dear friend, someone who is consistently a voice of reason and a great sounding board, even though I usually end up doing the dumb thing instead of the thoughtful, quality thing she suggested.

Briefed in at: 10:46 p.m., Tuesday

Deliverables due by: 10:49 p.m., Tuesday

Flexible? Yes, physically, I am (should I lead with that in the DM?!)––but this timing is not.

Project description/context: I’ve had the correct amount of wine to finally say hello to my internet crush, but all I’ve typed out so far is “OMG hiiiii! I know we don’t know each other, but I like you very much, and I think we’d be happy together FOREVER,” and now I need help taking it down a thousand notches.

Purpose: For my crush to reply/fall in love with me.

Target audience: This very specific hot person on the internet, whom I’m certain would reciprocate the feelings if they ever found out I existed.

Specs: One (1) solid, charming, irresistible, on-brand opener — anywhere between three and 3,000 words.

Design needed: N/A — these glasses of wine gave me de sign I needed to finally shoot my shot!

Main messages to convey to the audience:

I like your face.
I want to get to know you better.
I am very cool and totally chill.
I absolutely never do things like this.
I did not get a friend’s help with this at all.
I’m only sliding in because this cab sauv whispered, “girl, it’s time.”
If you never reply, I’ll die.
If you leave me on SEEN, I’ll die.
If you don’t respond with the exact words I wrote in my head, I’ll get over it, but please try.

Tone of voice: Smart-but-horny, chill-but-eager AF, low-key thirst

Ideal audience reaction/response: Within mere seconds of being notified of my late-night moxie, he will reply, “Wow, I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you to DM me! I’d love to get to know you, too. You are such a gorgeous human and a brave soul, and I can’t wait to heart every single one of your Instagram posts the way you did mine, kiss you in real life as soon as possible, and start a wonderful life together.”

I will also accept: “o hey whats up”

Past creative that might be applicable to this brief: For reference, I have sent the following messages to people I was crushing on:

😂
😮
😍
😢
👏
🔥
🎉
💯

(Yes, they were all passive Instagram Story replies, but what part of “confetti horn” doesn’t clearly scream please love me?)

Competitive analysis (what others are doing well): Most notably, Lizzo DMed three (3) emojis to her crush, Chris Evans, while tipsy and successfully earned a reply and tons of media engagement. (But sadly, no actual engagement.)

Budget: $0, but if your suggested opener works, drinks on me (at me and my crush’s open-bar wedding).

Approvals: Me. My crush. Me again tomorrow when I wake up hopefully not wanting to throw my phone away.

Additional notes: While I was taking the time to give you all the deets, I sent my original message. He hasn’t seen it yet, but when he does, you’ll be the first to hear about it. I know you can’t wait. Thank you for your help, sorry I didn’t use it.

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