A Courthouse Wedding Was The Best Decision

Along with announcing it from the Wal-Mart parking lot.

Some of you may think eloping at the courthouse on a Friday afternoon is a sad way to get married.

A courthouse wedding was the best decision for David and me.

We met on April Fool’s Day, 2001. Shortly after, we became a couple. By April 2002 we agreed to marry. Neither of us wanted to involve our families in a big wedding. Being poor college kids, we didn’t want to spend money on, what to us, was frivolous.

Relieved we had agreed against a traditional wedding, I suggested marrying in October. Although we lived together at the time, I felt having dated for a year and a half when we married would be a respectable amount of pre-marriage dues to have paid.

The preparations were simple.

He picked out a nice pair of pants and a white button-up shirt. His hair was short and tidy. His beard and mustache trimmed. He looked so handsome.

I bought a two-piece skirt and top outfit with a white and black flower print from The Limited.

I tamed my curls and slapped on some lipstick.

We’d purchased our silver rings at the mall kiosk for under $100.

David is a graphic designer and was in school at the time for visual communications. He created beautiful wedding announcement postcards with a white and black flower design that mimicked my dress.

They were ready to go as soon as we said, “I do.”

Which brings us to the courthouse.

We’d had our blood tests. Our paperwork was in order. We went up to the “Wedding” window which was the same as window as “Divorce.”

There was a woman with a baby bump. There was a small family with a bride in a legit bridal dress.

When we were called into the room, we stood with another couple. They were an international couple and seemed to be from Asia. Neither of them had rings and it didn’t matter. The look in their eyes was enough to know how much they loved each other.

David teared up as we recited our vows. Each couple served as witnesses for the other couple. It was quaint and sweet.

And, that was that. We were married.

We lived in Norman but got married in Oklahoma City. On the drive back, we stopped at The Cracker Barrel. I was delighted to have delicious chicken and dumplings and lemonade for our wedding day meal. I don’t remember what David had.

Back in town, we picked up a pre-packaged cake at Walmart. David pulled out a bottle of champagne for later.

We got on our cell phone and called his mom, my mom, and my dad and step-mom. From the Walmart parking lot. Our parents were happy if not a bit taken aback by the suddenness of it.

After being congratulated three times on the phone, we drove back to our apartment, popped open the champagne, ate cake, and toasted our new marriage.

The wedding postcard proved genius. Our families and extended family were happy to receive the announcement and since we weren’t registered anywhere they generously sent us cash and checks.

We ended up with enough to make the first down payment on a nicer car for us. A Kia Spectra if you’re wondering.

We had hardly spent any money on getting married. We hadn’t gone into great debt. We hadn’t dealt with any family drama. We hadn’t put ourselves at the center of attention. It felt like a very good choice.

I talked about having a big anniversary party at some point.

We will celebrate 18 years of marriage in October 2020. We haven’t had that party yet. Maybe at 20 years, we will.

But, I want to tell you something. Marriage, at least for us, isn’t easy. It’s not all wedded bliss.

There have been good times, great times — and hard, difficult times. There have been times when one of us felt like throwing in the towel.

We have learned a helluva lot from each other. We’ve had two amazing children. Our hair has begun graying. Our bodies have changed shape. We passed our 30th and 40th birthdays together.

I don’t feel qualified to give much marriage advice except to be real and say marriage is hard work. It takes effort. And, the rewards may be less obvious than you’d think. But they are there. We have grown as people in ways that were unfathomable to me almost 18 years ago.

My mall kiosk ring is still the ring I wear. I’ve thought about replacing it, but it holds sentimental value and I still love the silver color and the simplicity of a smooth band.

And, after all these years, I still believe getting married at the courthouse was the best decision for us.

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