A Cool Person’s Secrets

Qualities that make you stand out from the crowd

I know someone who walks into a room and energizes it. Everyone present draws closer to her like a magnet. She has that special something. She’s a cool person, someone everyone strives to be.

What does she have that others don’t?

She’s true to herself. Friendly and generous, she always shares what little she has with friends. She’s a passionate artist and natural entertainer, but you wouldn’t even know that unless you came to know her. She never brags or shows off, she just shows up and brightens up a room.

This girl isn’t from the wealthy side of town. She comes from a poor family but never has a victim mentality. Her family can’t afford designer clothes, so she finds them at thrift shops. She puts together the most interesting outfits and accessorizes them, and her peers imitate what she wears. Because money can’t buy cool.

She never chases people, she’s a girl with high value. People chase her. Witty and charming, she never misses a joke, and always has a snappy comeback.

Being cool is attainable for all. These are the personality traits that set someone apart:

Live your authentic life.

Be yourself and don’t follow the crowd. You will never stand out if you are always blending in. Learn what you love to do and follow your own interests. Be a multi-layered person. It will only make you more interesting to people. It’s okay to be a musician with a law degree, who loves to ride horses, who loves mathematics and is interested in winemaking. You get the picture. Explore all your passions.

Be interested in other people.

Remember people’s names. Treat everyone from the maid to the business owner like they’re special. Be interested in their lives. People can spot a phony a mile away. There’s nothing worse than a self-centered person who only talks about themselves.

Always look your best.

Wear clothes that flatter you. It doesn’t matter where you get them. Accessorize and have your own style. Find interesting bags to carry. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. You can find interesting clothes and accessories in thrift shops.

Experiment with new hairstyles, keep your nails neat and wear cool sunglasses, interesting shoes, and boots.

Flaunt your natural beauty. Keep yourself clean and put together. If you have a posture problem, seek help in correcting it. People pay attention to body language and they might think you aren’t confident if you don’t stand up straight. A person who takes care of themselves and has style is more attractive than a physically beautiful person who has no confidence and lets themselves go.

Joke a lot and be lighthearted with people.

No one wants to be around a negative, angry person. Even if you are down, don’t announce it to the general public. It’s about them, not you. People want to feel at ease and comfortable in your presence. Negative energy will only drain people around you.

If you love to dance, do it. There is nothing more fun than a person who grabs all their friends in the room and leads them out on the dance floor causing everyone to have a good time. Don’t forget that lonely person sitting by themselves. Get them to join you too.

If you are witty, this is a plus. Joking around and leaving people with a smile on their face makes you a favorite person in their eyes.

And whatever you do, don’t have emotional scenes in public. That is not cool.

Be generous with people.

Share what you have, and listen to what they have to say. Even if you are poor, you can still share some homemade cake or bread you made. You can give someone something you no longer need that they want. That tennis racket you never use may be an answer to a friend’s prayer.

Be generous with your time. Listen to others and look them in the eye, letting them feel heard by you. Expose your vulnerabilities so they feel comfortable getting closer to you. This is a valuable skill that will warm people towards you.

Pursue all your passions but don’t show off or brag.

Let your friends and acquaintances find out about you gradually. Imagine this: they’ve been interacting with you for a while, and then suddenly find out (from someone else) that you’re an amazing singer that’s been all over Tik Tok and YouTube. First, they’ll be impressed, and then they’ll like you even more because you were humble and chill, and never even mentioned it during the conversation.

Take leadership positions.

Think big. People love to follow a positive, inspiring leader. Don’t be that crowd follower. Find your passion and take leadership roles. Help others achieve what they want by inspiring them and setting an example.

You have the power to change and improve your community by heading up projects and organizing people to make the needed changes.

Don’t be afraid to run for an office. Often there is way less competition than you think. More responsibility creates more impact. You’ll reach more people in larger roles.

Don’t fear failure. Everybody fails. Everybody who is anyone has had a rejection in their life. Move past it, and turn the no’s into a yes.

Imagine waking up one day, and knowing because you stepped out of your comfort zone you changed people's lives for the better.

Be assertive and know your value.

Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t accept bad behavior from others towards you. People will only treat you the way you allow them too. Assume everyone in the room likes you.

If you have no confidence, seek therapy to build up your self-esteem. Low self-worth will wreak havoc on your life and may keep you from reaching your goals.

Stay positive and focused and don’t give in to drama, negativity, angry outbursts, and tears — especially in public. Then you will always be the cool one in the room.

Now you know the secret of being cool. With a little on your part, it is within your reach.