Summary

The article is a reflective piece on the impact of COVID-19, advising a pre-pandemic self on necessary preparations and lifestyle changes to expect.

Abstract

The author engages in a hypothetical conversation with their pre-COVID self, emphasizing the gravity of the impending global pandemic. They recommend stockpiling essentials like toilet paper, soap, and hand sanitizer, and suggest preparing for a shift in daily life, including remote work, limited social interactions, and a surge in home baking and entertainment. The piece humorously advises against purchasing non-essential items like new cars or work attire, while highlighting the importance of embracing digital connections and adjusting to a new normal. It also touches on the emotional toll of the pandemic, including the unexpected enjoyment of reality TV and the need for resilience in the face of government and vaccine rollout challenges.

Opinions

The author believes that the pandemic will significantly alter daily life, necessitating a shift in priorities and routines.
They express a strong opinion on the importance of stocking up on specific items for survival and comfort during lockdowns.
The piece conveys a sense of humor about the changes in personal habits, including the adoption of "day pajamas" and the newfound appreciation for reality TV.
There is a clear skepticism about the effectiveness of government responses to the pandemic, particularly in the author's own country and the United States.
The author anticipates a rocky road ahead for vaccine distribution, predicting scandals and setbacks.
Despite the challenges, the author advises maintaining a calm and hopeful outlook, suggesting that keeping expectations low can help manage the uncertainty of the situation.

A Conversation with My Pre-COVID Self

Hang tight, it’s going to be a bumpy ride

Hey there! How’s it going?

So yeah, this thing called COVID-19 that you’re hearing in the news and thinking, “Oh it’s only in China. And it’s just like a cold, right? No biggie?”

Well, it is kinda a biggie. Like a global pandemic for over a year kind of a biggie.

I’d highly recommend you start stocking up on toilet paper, soap, hand sanitizer, and Lysol wipes. These four things are going to be your best friends for the next year. They’re basically the unsung heroes of daily life.

The runner-ups will be flour, butter, and alcohol. Better add them to your grocery list too and buy them now while you still can. It won’t hurt to brush off those baking recipes and warm up your liver.

While you’re adding these items to your grocery list, let me also highly suggest you upgrade your Internet to the fastest possible speed. You’re going to be relying on it for all your social interactions. It will be your lifeline to those outside of your household.

And how could I forget? Gym equipment and sporting goods are also going to be scarce so you better pull the trigger on that treadmill you’ve been considering. No, you can’t just rely on the gym.

Yes, I know I’m telling you to buy a lot of things right now but I promise you, you’ll save lots of money in other areas of your budget. Like going out for dinner and drinks, and traveling around the world.

Sorry to break it to you but your Africa 2020 trip isn’t going to happen. Pretty unlikely to be Africa 2021 even. Africa 2022? Stop asking me when you can go to Africa. I’m not a fortune-teller; I’m a second-rate time traveler trying to help you out.

Still worried about your budget with all these things I’m telling you to buy? Ok well, let’s press pause on buying that new car because you won’t really be leaving your house much.

You definitely don’t need to update your work wardrobe. Just make sure you’ve got your day pajamas and your evening pajamas. Maybe a couple of pairs of sweatpants to spice things up.

Jeans? No, you don’t need to buy new jeans either. You won’t even remember what jeans are pretty soon. And when you do stumble across them in your spring cleaning, you won’t be able to fit in them anyways.

Remember your aversion to trashy reality TV shows? I don’t know what exactly is going to happen in your head but that’s going to change pretty soon. Yes, I know how much you scoff at Keeping Up With the Kardashians and The Bachelorette. No, Tiger King and Love Is Blind aren’t exactly much better but you’re gonna guiltily enjoy those shows anyways.

You’re also going to start watching Korean dramas. I know, I know — you think they’re sappy and dumb. But you’re going to get caught up in them anyhow. Chalk it up to COVID isolation or exploring different Netflix genres. Either way, you better get your box of Kleenex out. Turns out you’re a softie after all.

Oh, you’re confident the government will take the right measures to protect the country? That’s naive.

Sure, maybe some governments will but not your government and not the government just south of the border to us. Our government is going to be caught in scandals that are pretty mickey-mouse compared to our neighbor’s scandals but hey, all in the pursuit of Making America Great Again, eh?

Ah, now you want to bank on science prevailing. Sure, vaccines will come sooner or later. But there will be hiccups with that too. In fact, now that I think about it, the story of the vaccine roll out sadly resembles that of those trashy reality TV shows.

There’s a handful of vaccine options and there are going to be scandals, like negative side effects, and setbacks, like mistakes with manufacturing. There will be politics and fighting over vaccine distribution on a global level. Yes, it’s a bit sad when the world news begins to mimic a reality TV show.

You’re confused? Well my friend, you better get used to that state of confusion. It won’t just be you that’s confused. The whole world is confused.

The only advice I can offer is to keep calm and carry on. Yeah, it’s cliché but it’s a lot better to keep your expectations low because it’s going to be a long bumpy ride. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but there’s still a long way for us to go.

Anyways, I better go get my next Zoom call set up. Chat soon!