A Common Distinction

Personality And Character

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch

Writing Challenge; Day six

Quora question: What are the most common mistakes people make with character and personality?

What Shapes Us?

Humans are strange animals. We have thoughts, actions, abilities, motivations, and control over our instincts. All of these make us unique creatures. But I think we are shaped naturally into who we become.

A person is a single entity built up of numerous structures that combine to make us into who we are. Our structures are split between our own character and our own personality. I define our character as who we are and our personality as the persona we display to other people. One is unchangeable, and the other is constantly adapting to the will of the people around us.

First, let’s talk about our structures and foundations, character. Then we can move into the shape of our character and why it is important before we talk about personality adaption.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Environment

I love the Earth. I know you do too. However, when I am talking about the Environment it is in a growth foundation as a human. Some flowers are birthed and wilt within the same month, or even day. Our development is a lot like these flowers except we have time on our side. Our development does not begin outside the womb. Just like a flower is watered as a seed on the ground, we are taught from the second we are born to know who our mother is.

We are creatures of thought even inside our mommy’s bellies. What our current generation of instant gratification has forgotten is that we have ears, thoughts, and eyes inside the womb. We are unborn but all-seeing. ( I am not here to debate abortions. I am talking about if a parent chooses to stick with the child then there are certain measures the mom should do to make the environment better for the child.)

When in doubt, the mother will want the father to be sleeping with her every night during the pregnancy. ( Sometimes, events cause this to be harder to do) But the reason we want this is because the child can hear the father’s voice and recognize his parents.

However, in our generation, it is more often than not that the mother is lonely and has to go through the birth trials on her own. ( The strange obsession with sex that everyone has…is probably part of the reason. Fun before consequences.)

This affects us because we learn what true unconditional love is. Much like how the sun shines down on a flower bud to help it bloom. Our environments were all different growing up because no one but siblings has the same parents, housing, and education opportunities. This is why what we perceive as a child builds our inherent character. Character is defined as the mental and moral qualities of an individual. Our morals are founded on our parents, and our parents’ parents.

When I was a child my parents were at each other’s throats like two Lions fighting for territory. For me, I imagined their fights like Scar versus Mufasa. Scar always won. Dad always won. You could watch that movie a million times and the same result would occur because it is a movie. Their fights were a lot like that movie.

Funny enough, my morals from witnessing both the good and the bad between them created part of who I am. I was able to tell what good morals look like and what bad morals look like. Due to this distinction, I am able to take what I believe are good, solid, and justly morals with me into my adulthood.

My Morals

I live by a strict moral system. It does not involve what is good or bad. It involves what I perceive to be quality morals in people based on common human law. ( I don’t follow a specific religion.) My morals stand on certain values. I believe in always telling the truth even if it hurts the other person. This moral is not carried out by everyone. But I am a cut to the point kind of person. Cut to the point, let it hurt, and move on. Dragging things out doesn’t help anybody.

Honesty/ truth

My second one is more of a conviction to myself. Always do good for someone else. Selfishness is abundant in this world, and from where I stand it is always met with some form of bad karma. Bad karma piles up and then it flushes out all at once. So, due to this, I live by the moral of doing good for others.

Be a giver even when it is hard to do / Get that good Karma

My third one is another conviction that is often met with a little tilted head every once in a while. Don’t cheat on a cheater. Don’t lower your standards and your desires for someone else's quick fix. More importantly, if you know something like that is going on always take the higher road. There is no one made of steel but if we make sure we did all we could to do right by the other person…then all they can use as a defense is that “ it was the sex.” This where you learn the true value of a partner.

Don’t cheat a cheater/gambling/ dating/ promotions / the higher road will win

Don’t let anyone put doubt into your head. Don’t let them tell you who you can be, who you are, or who you could be. Just don’t let it happen. Put your fists up and emotionally fight back. These are the values I carry with me morally. Do unto others as you wish to have done to you.

My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Who we surround ourselves with is who end up as

A lot of people live in this big and wide world. We have a lot of personalities to sift through and understand. Each of us is a star in the sky waiting to find another flashing star that will meet us. Our personalities shift with who we talk with the most including our family, workmates, and spouses. There is a reason peer pressure is so dominant in our world.

I have seen a lot of my friends fall down tragic paths. Paths that have to lead them into drugs, abusive relationships, toxic work, and deadly car accidents. A lot of times people don’t see these problems steering right at them until its too late. However, a similar pattern for all of them was that they “were doing what everyone else was doing.”

I’m not much of a fan of this. Doing what everyone else is doing. Cheating is ok if everyone else is around you is cheating? No. Screw that noise. Drinking Alchohol till you black out is fun? No. I’d rather sing Karaoke sober …thank you very much. Oh, you smoke weed? Let me get a hit…not.

If you notice I don’t like following the herd. This has been a known fact about me. I always veer to the left or the right when it comes to seeing what the crowd has offered up. I’m not one to partake in bad habits because someone else is. ( I’m not a huge fan of making having the best sex ever a priority in my life either. Sorry. I just don’t see how accomplishing that will get me anywhere with my goals.)

Due to this, my personality is hard to change. It's not as adaptable as others. However, I am a great worker in team situations, and I think outside the box to gain respect. I know how to work in a group and remain myself. I’m not bound by what others think of me but what I think of myself.

There we have it. A lot of personalities in this world are shaped by other people while our Morals are shaped by our environments.