A Colleague Hugged Me Today
Cross-cultural experiences of living in Finland
In my home country, a colleague hugging me would not have been any big surprise. I worked in Australia as a teacher and we often hugged each other. Some of me (now ex) colleagues are dear friends. We bonded over late-night parent-teacher interviews, quick recess breaks and yard duty in the searing 40 degrees (Centigrade!) heat.
Australians, in general, are fairly free with their affection. You hug when you see friends, family, some even kiss cheeks multiple times! There are people living in Australia who hail from all parts of the globe, bringing their various levels of affection with them, and despite having strong links to the often reserved Brits, we have adapted and adopted a more relaxed view of affection.
But I need to say right now, I am not a ‘natural hugger.’ I have a mother who will hug anything standing close by, including lamp posts. But that is not me. I have a large personal space, find it difficult when people stand too close and rarely initiate a hug with a friend myself. Some of my friends may not even notice this! Because I have learned to hug.
Don’t get me wrong, I love hugging my partner. One of my children loves hugs. A cuddly teddy bear of a kid, like a koala. I loved it — he’s my child! The other one always has a look on her face of ‘eewwww, this is disgusting but I will endure it.’ She has always been like that. My mother remembers the day my daughter first hugged her — she was over two.
Moving to the Nordic region, for me, was like coming home. People in Finland are known for their reserve and sense of personal space. They make memes and funny cartoons about it! (Google it, it’s quite funny!) They greet each other by glancing quickly in each other’s eye, shaking hands and that is it. Minimal body movement, no exuberant hugs, no cheek kissing.
I don’t even have to second guess whether someone was going to come in for a hug. (I realize I have spent quite a bit of time worrying about this is my life, just under the surface…)
That’s why I was so surprised! Because in the two years I have lived here, no colleague has given me a spontaneous hug.
The woman who hugged me is lovely. An artist and teacher. She is ‘proper Finnish’, so comes from the Finnish mainland, not from the archipelago. She looks typically Finnish, pale, hair, pale skin, pale blue eyes. Perhaps she’s an empath because I was telling her why I was feeling a little tired. And she said, “you need a hug” then hugged me.
And there it was, a little taste of my home culture! The feeling it left in me was so uplifting and positive! A ray of sunshine during this grey Autumn. It made me think about home. I rarely miss my home country, but sometimes the small things, like a hug, remind you that there are things to miss after all.
~thanks for reading~
Lisa enjoys writing poetry. It saved her. She lives in an archipelago in Finland with her partner and can be found scribbling in her notebook or tapping into her phone. If you enjoyed this piece, maybe read some more…
