A Call From a Childhood Friend is Driving Me Up a Wall

Reconnecting with a childhood friend leaves me with more questions than answers

I’m doing this for closure.

What?

That small sentence came from a childhood friend I haven’t spoken to for almost 40 years and it’s driving me up a wall.

I approved a friend request from a childhood friend on Facebook. I didn’t think anything nothing of it. Within a half hour, he sent me a message with his phone number saying to call anytime.

Now, this I found a bit strange. I hadn’t talked to this guy since high school. Why, after all this time, would he want to talk to me?

I would soon find out. Now I’m left with more questions than answers.

A little background

Even in grade school, this guy was a sports prodigy. He could outrun the wind, throw a dodgeball with precision, and even hit a fly in mid-flight with a wiffleball bat. Anything a gym teacher asked him to do, he excelled at.

In high school, he became a football star. The handsome big man on campus. The popular guy, praised by everyone. All the girls wanted him and I’m sure he knew it.

He told me he had a football scholarship at one of the big colleges.

I was a band geek so we traveled in different circles in high school.

Yet, after all the praise and stardom growing up, I don’t remember him saying anything bad to or about me or anyone else. He might have. We were kids.

I do remember we would say hi to each other in passing. He seemed to be everyone’s friend.

I don’t have any bad memories of him. No animosity from me.

The phone call

The phone call was nice. We talked about him retiring and moving to Florida. His wife and kids. We also discussed our health ailments.

Old guys do that.

He went on to tell me about his fall from grace during college. A knee injury took away his football aspirations and his scholarship. He dropped out of college and worked as an electritian with his dad until he retired. He hated his job.

What he said next threw me a bit. The loss of his popularity as a sports star hurt him so much he ended up with a substance abuse problem. It was a way to help him deal with the pain of being a rising star to becoming a nobody overnight.

He lost quite a few friends because of it.

I can’t blame him for that. We all choose our vices when life goes bad. I chose alcohol after my divorce. He chose something stronger. A bit more dangerous.

Next came the statement that has stuck in my brain like peanut butter to the roof of my mouth.

I’m doing this for closure

Huh? What? What does that mean?

He never said anything about dying of cancer or doing a 12-step program. He even told me to call him again anytime. That it was great connecting with me again after all these years. What does he mean by closure?

Getting closure could mean anything. He could be trying to cleanse his soul of perceived wrongdoing. He could be baring his soul to be able to forgive himself by owning and admitting his mistakes.

Now I feel I need to call and talk to him again. The questions are going to burn in my brain like a ghost pepper.

Closure

What do you think closure is? What does it mean to you? Do you feel you need to get some?

Is there someone you would like to get some closure with because of some event or harsh words? Are you jealous of someone and feel bad about it? Is there something you need to share with the world so you can forgive yourself for something?

Or are you going to let that ghost pepper continue to burn a hole in your belly?

Think about it. Maybe baring your soul in a story or in the comment section would help.

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