Song Story | Gay Romance

A Break-up Means a Fresh Start

Heartbroken Dan is moving out

As Dan packed up his truck, the song Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac ran on a loop in his mind.

… Loving you Isn’t the right thing to do How can I ever change things That I feel?

Alec had been the first guy to whom he had opened his heart. After several years of nursing his attraction to men as a closely guarded secret, the charismatic young artist had blown into Dan’s life like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. Nothing was denied, no expression taboo, life and love were embraced in a way that Dan had never experienced during his conservative upbringing. Suddenly he’d felt truly seen, connected and three-dimensional.

Today that lay in tatters, like a fractured pinata. Dan had no clue how he would put it back in the box. His heart felt bloodied and broken. Where to find the reserves of energy to get his life back on track — he just did not know. But Alec would move on, to gild another guy’s life with his humor and charm and Dan could not stay where he’d put down his first, tentative roots. Their apartment held too many memories and, to be practical, he could not afford the rent alone.

Dan cast a final look around the empty rooms. Alec’s personality was like graffiti in every space: Under the high ceilings and huge windows where he set up his easel and paints, in the cramped kitchen where he prepared ramen or pancakes (two things he could cook). Memories flooded from the bedroom, which had been the arena for caresses and cuddles, truths and temptation, no matter whether the precursor was fighting or flirting. Dan turned quickly away, a crude defence against the bittersweet fragments that stung his eyes and tightened his throat.

A change will do me good, he counseled himself, closing the door with finality. He banished regret and posted the key through the letterbox for the realtor.

Just as he was about to climb behind the wheel and drive away, he saw the familiar figure of Jesse striding briskly along the sidewalk.

“Hey man, I’m glad I caught you,” he smiled widely, a little out of breath.

“Hey yourself!” Dan was startled, but not displeased to see the bartender from one of their regular haunts.

“I heard you and Alec broke up.” Jesse searched Dan’s face as he spoke. “That’s gotta hurt.”

Dan lowered his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. The pain was tough to handle when people were kind.

“It was good while it lasted,” he disguised his feelings with a platitude, spreading his hands expressively.

“So you’re moving out — d’you know where?”

“I’ve found a job with room and board included,” Dan told him. “On the outskirts of town.”

“That’s cool,” Jesse nodded, placing a light hand on Dan’s muscled forearm. His expression was complicated but kind. “If you don’t mind me saying, you were too good for Alec anyway.”

Now their eyes met, understanding flashing between them.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Jesse told Dan, easing his grip and letting their fingers brush together. “You know where to find me,” then he stepped back to wave Dan off.

Dan climbed into his truck, and started the engine. His thoughts were jumbled and his arm still tingled from that brief exchange, which had offered him hope. Perhaps the days and nights ahead wouldn’t have to be lonely after all.

I read the lyrics for You Can Go Your Own Way — a Fleetwood Mac song written by Lindsey Buckingham, about a relationship break-down. I wanted to craft a story that sprang from change. This story, and the prequel in my Newsletter, formed in my mind.

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