A Black Woman’s Letter To The Best White Boss Ever

Because the reality is, they’re not many of them out there

Dear Sylvester,

It’s been a while since we’ve spoken, and I wanted to take this opportunity to wish you a very Happy New Year. I recently turned 52 and am much closer to retirement than at the start of my career.

Last year I moved to a new company and during that transition, I reflected back on my 30 years in the workplace – which has been in a predominantly white environment by the way and asked myself some hard questions about whether I was happy with where I was professionally in life.

I came to the conclusion that I was not really where I wanted to be and I tried to understand why. I realized that much of it had to do with the bosses I worked for who never really championed me in my career. They more or less always worked against me. I also realized that you were the best boss I had ever had. Why?

You realized early on that all I wanted to do was contribute to your success and you gave me space to learn and grow. You never saw me as a threat to you – this has been the case with so many of my other bosses. You understood that my need to do things well, to surpass myself time and time again wasn’t an attempt to upstage you, it was because I was built that way.

In whatever I do, be it at work or in my private life, I challenge myself to be the very best I can be. It has nothing to do with making anyone look lesser, it just has to do with my work ethic and my constant strive for near perfection. I was just born like that.

You always sought my opinion when we had important decisions to make. You listened to me and valued what I had to say. If you disagreed, you clearly told me why. Your points helped me reflect and dissect the situation and most times I ended up agreeing with you.

I remember going to you once because despite having a clear job description, another colleague regularly stepped on my toes, taking away the most exciting parts of my job. I came complaining to you, wanting you to go to that colleague and tell him to get off my tuff.

You looked up and me and said:

“You’re a big girl Rebecca, I don’t need to defend you. Go take your job, go fill the space».

I felt empowered, and so supported by you and indeed a few months later, I had taken up my space.

My self-confidence, determination, and courage did not scare you. You encouraged me to speak up in meetings and to share my point of view. You made me feel as though I really mattered.

You were a little bigoted when we met, you’d make odd if not racist comments about Africa and Africans. At first, I didn’t know how to correct you, I was afraid of contradicting my boss. I remember once having the courage to tell you that the things you were saying were wrong. You listened and you changed. There was no retaliation from you, no bad blood between us. Again you accepted me, you validated me. You never looked down on me – like most of my other bosses have.

I think that what I most appreciated about you was that you gave credit where credit was due. Not just to me, but to everyone on the team. I knew that when I did work for you, I knew that when I was successful, you would give me recognition, and you would show appreciation.

Yes, we all do get paid a salary, but that recognition from one’s boss is worth so much more. For me, it’s worth gold.

I remember when I found out that you’d be going on early retirement. It was a very sad day for me, but at the time, I don’t think I realized how great a boss you were. Years after working without you, I now realize how much I lost that day when you left the company. I realized that you were possibly the best boss I had ever had.

It’s strange, when I initially interviewed for the role in your team all those many moons ago, my white colleagues had warned me about you. They said you were despotic and a bully. They said you screamed at people when they didn’t meet your expectations. I remember when I went into that first interview with you, I couldn’t sleep the night prior, I was so nervous.

My family and I were traveling to Lisbon, Portugal the next day and I’d just gone by the bookstore to get a travel guide. It was in my satchel when I sat down for the interview, slightly peeking out of my bag.

We spoke at length during that interview, and toward the end, I remember you saying to me:

«I don’t need to interview you again, for me, you’re the perfect fit for the role».

I was so elated, I simply couldn’t believe it. You opened the door for me to enter the public health world that day. I will be forever grateful to you for that opportunity. It has changed my life in a very good way.

We shook hands, I remember your firm and honest handshake, and I immediately trusted you from that moment onwards.

As I turned to leave, you spied the travel guide in my bag and asked if I was going to Lisbon. I smiled and you went to your desk and scribbled down the names of places I should visit and restaurants I should try while there.

I already felt an immediate connection to you and knew that I would work my utmost to make you shine because you showed you cared.

Sylvester, you truly understood this Black woman. You understood that I was a human being who simply wanted to work hard to make this world a slightly better place than how she found it. An individual who hates mediocrity and who always pushes herself to do better, every. single. time. An individual who is ambitious in terms of what she wants to achieve in her lifetime, but not nasty to the point of stabbing others in the back to get ahead.

You understood that despite the racist and sexist narratives about Black women — that we are always angry, over-emotional, and ambitious to the point of walking all over others, I was no way near that.

You realized that I was a human being with feelings and emotions who only always wanted her boss to be proud of her. You understood that so well and all I can say is that as my boss, you made me most proud.

I hope and pray that other Black women have the opportunity of working with a boss like you.

With kindness and respect always,

Rebecca

Thank you for reading my perspective.