EROTIC

A Birthday Facial

My girlfriends’ little treat after a year of celibacy

I’ve not had sex in a long time. A year ago today my flatmate decided she’d like to share a little more than breakfast cereal and milk; she wanted to add a little banana to her morning crunchies. Some birthday that was.

Since then it’s just me and my girls. A cheeky bunch; trying a little too hard to get me back on the train to Banana Ville though.

Blind dates, blindfolded dates, double dates, triple dates, all in the hope of quite literally pinning some dude on me. Being my birthday I am half expecting some adult version of pin the tail.

Julie was the first to arrive. Present in hand, a smile on her face. Judging by the shape of the box it was either a bottle of wine or the sex toy she’d been banging on about for weeks. A bottle of wine poking out of her tote led me to believe it was the latter.

Fanny was next. She did away with the social etiquette of knocking and barged right in; already a little tipsy.

The last to arrive was felicity. Five minutes late, but by her standards right on time. A similarly shaped parcel under her arm and another bottle of wine tucked under the other. Her fingers typing furiously on her phone.

“He’s running late!” — wiping sweat from her brow — “I ran for nothing!”

“Whose running late?” I enquired rather hesitantly.

There was silence, followed by a group snigger.

“It’s a surprise!”

Half an hour had passed and there was no mention of the surprise visitor. If it wasn’t for felicity constantly checking her messages and sighing Id be none the wiser. But her eyes were up and down more than a prozzie’s skirt — they were up to something.

Fanny disappeared into the kitchen resurfacing a few minutes later, preceded by 29 burning candles. Her shadow trailing behind.

“Happy Facial to you, happy facial to you, happy facial dear Tori, happy facial to you!”

Silence. For two minutes straight. Probably induced by the mixture of rage and fear that were dancing across my face. What had they planned?

Fanny broke the silence, “Are you OK, Tori?”

Much to their surprise, and more to mine I started to smile. A banana smile splitting my face from ear to ear gave way to a laugh. It bellowed nervously and seemingly infectiously as they all joined in one by one.

Before I had a chance to ask what their little poetic birthday rhyme meant the door bell rang. My heart stopped, then made up for the lost beats by banging my chest so hard that my boobs nearly broke my bra strap.

Fanny ran to the door like a little girl and Julie pressed her face into my neck, “We decided to give you a little treat this year. A bit of you time. You’ve been alone for a year now, alone alone. It’s time to rip off the band-aid with a good old facial, what do “ — Fanny’s grand entrance cut her off.

“Say hello to Mike.”

Giggles filled the air and somewhere amongst the high school laughter I could hear four hello Mike’s. Mine included. He was cute, I’ll give them that. Very cute. His clothing was a little eighties, but I guess tight pants were part of the job description.

“Now that’s a birthday package,” Julie whispered.

Mike had already taken a seat and was perched right in front of me. His manspread was very intimidating but surrounded by my girls I didn’t feel too threatened.

The girls receded to the corner of the room, huddled over my presents, frantically ripping off the wrapping paper. My heart fluttered as Julie pulled out a long and fat silicone toy. Her fingers couldn’t even stretch all the way around it. Julie was head in hands, stifling her laughter whilst Felicity’s jaw just dropped in astonishment. Her hand reached out and prodded the tip. Almost like she was checking it was still alive.

Mike was still talking, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was running wild and I started shaking. Adrenaline was pumping through my body. What the hell was going on? I felt like I was in some kind of porn film.

By this time the candy-colored toy was being passed between the girls. Their tongues flicking the end and sucking the giant-sized “lollypop”.

My eyes flicked back to Mike, “I’m sorry I’m late, my last client was a bit of a handful.”

I couldn’t muster thoughts, never mind words. I just stared at him. My eyes drawn between his legs. It felt like they were being sucked into a black hole.

My trance was broken by a gipping noise coming from the girls. Julie had obviously gotten a little carried away with herself in her feeding frenzy.

Like three naughty schoolgirls they walked back over. Joining me on the couch.

“So, you’ve met Mike” — Julie smiled — “are you done talking? We’ve only got him ” — she looked at her wrist — “for another twenty minutes.”

I was still dumbstruck. Did I want this? I hadn’t run yet, so I guess on some level I did.

“Are you girls going to watch?” Not the words I expected to leave my mouth, but at least my tongue seemed to be working again.

Mike butted in, “That’s fine by me, but as I was saying I’m running late so we need to get cracking.” — he turned to Felicity — “Did you prepare the towels?”

Felicity nodded and threw a pink fluffy towel at Mike’s face.

“Thank you. Now, lean forward a little, Tori.” — He draped the towel on the sofa behind my head — “We don’t want to stain the sofa.”

Self-preservation slipped me into autopilot. Too scared to fight or too excited to run — either way, it looked like this was happening.

I noticed Julie had the pink toy hidden beneath a cushion on her lap. She blushed.

“Close your eyes, Tori.” — His voice was deep and hypnotic — “It’s time for your facial.”

Taking refuge in the darkness behind closed eyelids my other senses quadrupled. I could hear the air escaping from the sofa as Felicity’s ass fell into it. I was suddenly aware of birds outside my window. Five sets of lungs filled the air with sensual rhythmic vibes like the wind section of an orchestra. Then that piercing metallic sound of a zip sliced through it all. I’d never felt so exposed and vulnerable.

Time seemed to stand still at this point. My eyelids spasmed. My innocence trying to prise them apart whilst my inner deviant held them closed with all her might.

Then it came. A splash on my left cheek. I flinched. I could feel it dripping downwards to my chin; leaving a trail of singed skin behind it. I must have been holding my breath for as soon as the second strike came I inhaled what felt like three rooms worth of oxygen. It felt hotter this time, and creamier. It didn’t trickle like the first time. Then all of a sudden it raced towards my mouth — brushing past my lips.

The third splash hit my forehead and trickled between my eyebrows, rolled over the bridge of my nose, and collected itself in the dimple just above my top lip. It felt amazing. My body shivered with excitement. I’d let go by now and was ready for another shot. The anticipation was torturously arousing. My imagination was running wild. What did it look like? What was he doing? And the girls. I’d forgotten they were there. I can’t believe they were actually watching. I could feel lips pulsating.

“You can open your eyes now, Tori.” — I peeled apart my sticky lids, eager to let my vision in on the sensory pleasure — “It’s not too hot, is it?”

My heart sank.

“It’s a homemade recipe made from aloe vera” — He pushed a Tupperware dish into my face — “and Indian spices.”

I was embarrassed. I felt like such a fool. The following minute was the longest of my life as he rubbed the green gooey face mask onto my skin.

A fire raged inside of me. Was I angry at the girls for pranking me or frustrated that Mikes’s magic sauce wasn’t as organic as I would have liked?

“Are you OK, Tori? You look disappointed.”

They burst into laughter. I felt like such a sucker — and not the good kind.

“We’ll wash that off in 10 minutes. In the meantime” — his hand reached over to Julie — “It’s time for your birthday surprise.”

Julie handed over the pink silicone toy.

Happy birthday to me.

Lucy Barewood is obsessed with human relationships and the all too often crossing of wires. She likes to spin things around to look at them from a different angle, hopefully bringing a smile to more than one place in the process.

If you enjoyed her Birthday Facial be sure to check out her Fallacious Pussy