LIFE | ADVICE | OLD AGE
A 90-Year-Old’s Thought on Entitlement and How to Avoid It
Is there anything wrong in asking for what is not yours?
At a point in life. I always wondered why people have to go different ways to succeed. But it soon dawned on me that our paths are different in life.
It then occurred to me that while some people are successful, some are entitled to that success, or at least they feel they are.
- If you’ve ever felt entitled to the spoils from someone’s win, you might want to pay more attention.
- If you’ve ever gotten super annoyed about the attitude of an entitled individual, this 90-year-old’s thought and solution will interest you.
Some people have Ghandi’s laws, others are lucky enough to have counselors, but all I had was my Grandma!
We weren’t a thousand and one percent close, but we had some good rhythm and connected on a different level. She would always get annoyed at my inquisition and say I asked too many questions. Enough to make her turn a listening ear even when she doesn’t want to.
I put her 90-year-old mind to the test many times before she left us, and she always delivered. Allow me to say that old is gold.
Enough now!
On one such occasion, my inquisition confused me in a whirlwind of thoughts about entitlement and how it can be avoided or resolved.
Then I asked my Grandma for her thoughts, and she delivered in Gold shillings.
First and foremost, it was hard to explain what the word entitlement meant to a Nigerian woman born in the 1930s. But I did my best, and she got it.
Oxford Dictionary also says that entitlement is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
This was also her way of answering me. She quickly scanned her mind and told me about something that happened in the late 1950s.
She narrated:
“I wanted to see my dad so badly at his densely populated workshop, and I didn’t want to go alone. So I went with two of my friends. We got there and were received with so much love. Before we thought of leaving, I left my friends and went to see a few of his friends. After reliving a few memories from my childhood, they all gifted me money. I was so excited. Once I returned to my friends, my dad gave us money and saw us off. On our way home, I thought to share the money I was gifted with them, but once they saw it, they insisted with conviction that I shared it equally.”
And she said… do you think they were entitled?
What!! I was furious. I gave a resounding yes. Yes, they were entitled.
I continued, “They weren’t with you when you were gifted the money. You offered to give them some, but they insisted you share it equally.”
In all of this, her 90-year-old mind felt different. Her response was the best way to resolve and think about entitlement.
A heart that gives consistently will never be entitled.
She further explained that you wouldn’t be so concerned about receiving if you were used to giving.
In this regard, you’ll never be entitled to someone’s win or spoils in the first place if you never cared about such things. This was her thought about her friends.
They are the receiver’s son, she said. They’ll always want more. I’m a giver. I do not see them as entitled. I do not get bothered by it. I’ll never care about what they say.
I understand they want to be given something, and I’ll give it to them as long as I have it.
I’ve had some hard pills to swallow in my few years of living, but this one was a little too stiff. But I got the message.
So I guess the question now is, will you not be bothered;
- If your friends act entitled to some of your money just because you were together when things were really bad?
- If your boss required a regular morning foot massage just because he helped put you on for a raise?
- If your siblings embrace the thought of entitlement for some of your wins?
Maybe!
Maybe her 90-year-old mind saw too much already, and she took a calm look at everything in life. But I imagine and wonder if people like that exist in this time and day.
The ones who don’t overthink of entitled people or who are never entitled themselves.
