A 3-Step Guide to Absolutely Destroy Your Life
Succeed at failing
So you want to ruin your life?
Splendid!
Let’s get on with it.
The steps to completely wreck your life are simple.
Simple, not easy.
Fueling the engines of despair requires dedication and practice.
Nothing great in life comes easy, especially not in a shitty one.
But just know, you’re in the right hands. By clicking this story, you showed true dedication to transforming your life into a continuous carnival of calamity.
You overcame the hardest struggle: to take action.
Give yourself a high-five!
Step 1 — Analyze:
To fuck up your life really hard, it’s crucial to have a clear understanding of your current situation.
What bad and good habits do you have?
Do you have a member card for the local gym? Good. Now you always have something to cut the cake with. If you bend it, you can also use it as a clever stand for your smartphone. And always make sure to keep up with the payments, it’s like the icing on the cupcake.
Have you clarified your good habits?
Great!
Now stop doing them.
Why waste time with all those healthy choices? You’re aiming for a life that’s just gloriously disastrous, right?
With the extra time on your hands, you can now truly dedicate yourself to perfecting your bad habits.
What a win!
Step 2 — Practice
We must commit to ongoing practice.
Remember: nothing screams ‘not living the dream’ quite like stressing over perfecting those bad habits.
Another great tool that has helped me is the “just-don’t-do-it rule”. If I feel like I should be working out or doing the dishes, I just don’t do it. It’s stupid just how simple it is. But it works effortlessly.
Studies have shown 3 outcomes of practice:
- Skill: With each practice, you’ll get better and faster.
- Habit: Things you practice stick, even if you stop trying.
- Low cognitive load: Practice makes tasks easier over time by reducing the mental effort needed.
So, if your dream is to become a phone-screen maestro, just keep practicing that art. Before you know it, you’ll be checking it mid-convo without breaking a mental sweat.
Step 3 — Consistency
I can’t pinpoint exactly what you should prioritize, but I can tell you with a great lack of confidence, that the most important thing is consistency.
To get a shitty life takes a lot of bad decision-making. Some people are naturally gifted at this… lucky bastards!
You need to have patience. Destroying your life takes time. Make wrecking your own life a daily routine, and, in the end, success is practically guaranteed.
Keep in mind, that the journey to misery starts with one step. So, why not take that step?
If you think this post was helpful, let me know in a comment.