My So-Called Quince

My 15th birthday had finally arrived and the biggest deal for me was buying this button down semi-grunge granny dress from Express which was very big in the mid-90’s. The drawback was that I couldn’t trick it out with granny boots and a crochet vest due to it being a special occasion and all. I may or may not have been wearing gold tribal sun jewelry that included a black choker. I also had on all of my 24kt gold bracelets that I’d received as gifts over the years from my aunts. My hair was in some kind of half up/half down creation with this one loose tendril that used to hang from the side of my head. Back then, you did your own hair, girlfriend.

It was the winter of 1994. My parents had just bought their first home in the fall and there was no way they could afford a huge party that included an emcee and choreographed dance numbers. Being the first American-born grandchild, I didn’t really grow up with the notion of the "quinceañera". I had never attended one or even seen one on TV. The only thing I knew was that it was a Cuban girl’s entrance into society or something, an early Sweet Sixteen. However, I didn’t really expect such things because it was just some fairy tale that I’d heard about the picture of my aunt in a frilly gown that hung in my abuelos’ living room. I was quite content in having a gathering in our new home that included my grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. I didn’t know any better, nor did I feel that I was missing out on something. I think my parents may have catered Cuban sandwiches and there was, of course, bocaditos, pastel de guayaba, flan and a bakery cake. As far as I was concerned, this was the perfect night.

“It wasn’t until many years later that I even considered whether or not I may have been jipped a cultural milestone.”

I think that my parents did the best that they could and made the right decision to buy a house when they did. If they’d have spent that money on a big party, we wouldn’t have had all of those wonderful memories that we had in our first home. I think becoming an adult is realizing what’s important in life and making decisions that will better your life in the long run. That is what “growing up” means to me. I have nothing against quinceañeras and give credit to those who can pull them off so nicely, but I don’t think you need to spend thousands of dollars to feel special and loved at the peak of your teens. Skipping the big party is certainly not going to stop you from growing up and let’s be honest, no one in New Jersey is waiting around for your introduction into society. Mine may have only been a quinceañita (not a thing) but it was still a great night with my family and will always be dear to me.

Besides, I still got to wear a KILLER dress, right?

This is part of a collection of stories on quinceañeras. To read more, visit here: