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Abstract

"9a7e">Earlier this year, my husband and I watched a woman in the parking lot in LA open her car door and throw out a bag of fast-food garbage onto the pavement.</p><p id="43a7">“You know, we’re living in a society!” I wanted to scream, channeling my inner George Costanza.</p><p id="b45e">Every time I see garbage on the sidewalk, I wonder how people who litter justify it. Would they throw garbage in their own neighborhood, too? In their own front yard?</p><p id="aa7e">Sadly, our city of Santa Monica is not big on trash cans, which doesn’t help the situation, so I often find myself carrying used napkins, or better, dog poop, for many blocks before I find a place to dump it. But carry it, I do. Because hey, we’re living in the society here!</p><h2 id="b58e">3. Think before you honk</h2><p id="28ef">Noise pollution in the U.S. is real. Honking makes things worse. Do me a favor and get a therapist, a yoga instructor, or a girlfriend. Whatever it takes to release your frustrations. Just don’t take it out on other drivers or, worse, those of us who chose to walk.</p><h2 id="e8c1">4. Hold doors for others</h2><p id="5713">Regardless of your sex, age, or political beliefs, hold doors for people behind you or in front of you in stores and cafes. It takes two extra seconds, but every time someone does it for me, I feel like there’s hope for our country.</p><h2 id="e474">5. Keep to your side of the road</h2><p id="dd6e">When driving, walking, and biking, please, keep to your side of the road. Especially if you must stare at your phone. In the U.S., the right side is the right side. Let others pass you on to the left. It’s simple, really. But makes moving around cities that much easier for everyone.</p><h2 id="1c17">6. Signal like your life depends on it</h2><p id="8e32">Signal <i>before</i> you make a turn. It’s that simple. Other drivers will appreciate knowing your intentions before it’s too late. It’s not emasculating. It’s not difficult to do. It doesn’t take a lot of brain power. Yet it would make our congested roads just a bit more civilized.</p><h2 id="24a0">7. Take your cal

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l outside</h2><p id="3695">I get it; you’re important. You want to be heard, at least metaphorically speaking. But some of us require peace and quiet to enjoy ourselves. Please, take your call outside and yell to your heart’s delight (but do see point #9).</p><h2 id="c41f">8. Drive like your kids live here</h2><p id="9eb1">I get it; stop signs are annoying. But they are there for a reason. A right turn on a red light is a privilege, not a given. And yes, a person might be on the sidewalk when you drive out of your alley.</p><p id="715f">Yet every single day, I see people rolling through stop signs, turning right without looking, and flying out of the alleys without stopping. I’ve been almost hit (with a stroller) more times than I can count.</p><p id="9f65">I’m terrified of my toddler running on sidewalks. Yet a toddler leash would certainly bring on some dirty looks.</p><p id="c928">So, please, drive like your kids live here.</p><h2 id="553c">9. Check your voice level</h2><p id="d3e8">Why can we in the U.S. not discuss our private manners quietly?</p><p id="87b9">I was having lunch with a Russian friend yesterday and straining to hear her because her soft-speaking voice was getting swallowed by the American voices surrounding us. I kept leaning forward just to hear.</p><p id="47e5">I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I burst out laughing after hearing a “dude” talking on the phone to his “bro” here in Santa Monica. Sure, it’s mean, but he deserves it for yelling.</p><p id="df42">Do most people not understand that their conversations might sound dumb to others?</p><p id="cd75">So, please check your voice level next time you’re outside. People may not care about what you have to say, but they will laugh behind your back.</p><p id="76bd">We may never be the perfect little Denmark (and many of us don’t want to be), but if we all do our part every day, we might one day live in a truly friendly country.</p><p id="0024"><i>Subscribe to my <a href="https://anafrugaard.substack.com">newsletter</a>: Danish Secrets to a Better Life (In the U.S.)</i></p></article></body>

9 Things We Can All Do For Each Other Right Now

Drive like your kids live here, among other things

After a year of living in Denmark, the most civilized place I’ve ever been to, I returned to America only to learn that hostility was alive and well in our country, with no plans of going anywhere.

I was presented with two extremes.

One is a society of strict rule-followers and good-doers, where a communal good far outweighs that of the individual, and walking, biking, driving, or plain living is easy and predictable.

Then you have the U.S., where personal gain is king, and the needs of others are secondary. We are a country of overachievers, stressed out and anxious, greedy and confused. You can’t blame us. Most of us have never seen any better.

Still, we mustn’t spend our days in complete oblivion to other people’s existence. There are many small ways we can all help each other every day and, as a result, live in a slightly more civilized society.

Here are 11 ideas off the top of my head.

1. Think before you stop

Just like in driving, think before you stop abruptly when walking or riding a bike. There might be someone behind you. It seems obvious, but I’m shocked at how many people I encounter weekly who just don’t get it.

2. Think before you litter

We were driving on the highway outside of Los Angeles this week when someone in front of us threw a soda can out the window. What could possibly be going through that person’s mind, I wondered?

Earlier this year, my husband and I watched a woman in the parking lot in LA open her car door and throw out a bag of fast-food garbage onto the pavement.

“You know, we’re living in a society!” I wanted to scream, channeling my inner George Costanza.

Every time I see garbage on the sidewalk, I wonder how people who litter justify it. Would they throw garbage in their own neighborhood, too? In their own front yard?

Sadly, our city of Santa Monica is not big on trash cans, which doesn’t help the situation, so I often find myself carrying used napkins, or better, dog poop, for many blocks before I find a place to dump it. But carry it, I do. Because hey, we’re living in the society here!

3. Think before you honk

Noise pollution in the U.S. is real. Honking makes things worse. Do me a favor and get a therapist, a yoga instructor, or a girlfriend. Whatever it takes to release your frustrations. Just don’t take it out on other drivers or, worse, those of us who chose to walk.

4. Hold doors for others

Regardless of your sex, age, or political beliefs, hold doors for people behind you or in front of you in stores and cafes. It takes two extra seconds, but every time someone does it for me, I feel like there’s hope for our country.

5. Keep to your side of the road

When driving, walking, and biking, please, keep to your side of the road. Especially if you must stare at your phone. In the U.S., the right side is the right side. Let others pass you on to the left. It’s simple, really. But makes moving around cities that much easier for everyone.

6. Signal like your life depends on it

Signal before you make a turn. It’s that simple. Other drivers will appreciate knowing your intentions before it’s too late. It’s not emasculating. It’s not difficult to do. It doesn’t take a lot of brain power. Yet it would make our congested roads just a bit more civilized.

7. Take your call outside

I get it; you’re important. You want to be heard, at least metaphorically speaking. But some of us require peace and quiet to enjoy ourselves. Please, take your call outside and yell to your heart’s delight (but do see point #9).

8. Drive like your kids live here

I get it; stop signs are annoying. But they are there for a reason. A right turn on a red light is a privilege, not a given. And yes, a person might be on the sidewalk when you drive out of your alley.

Yet every single day, I see people rolling through stop signs, turning right without looking, and flying out of the alleys without stopping. I’ve been almost hit (with a stroller) more times than I can count.

I’m terrified of my toddler running on sidewalks. Yet a toddler leash would certainly bring on some dirty looks.

So, please, drive like your kids live here.

9. Check your voice level

Why can we in the U.S. not discuss our private manners quietly?

I was having lunch with a Russian friend yesterday and straining to hear her because her soft-speaking voice was getting swallowed by the American voices surrounding us. I kept leaning forward just to hear.

I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I burst out laughing after hearing a “dude” talking on the phone to his “bro” here in Santa Monica. Sure, it’s mean, but he deserves it for yelling.

Do most people not understand that their conversations might sound dumb to others?

So, please check your voice level next time you’re outside. People may not care about what you have to say, but they will laugh behind your back.

We may never be the perfect little Denmark (and many of us don’t want to be), but if we all do our part every day, we might one day live in a truly friendly country.

Subscribe to my newsletter: Danish Secrets to a Better Life (In the U.S.)