9 Life Lessons From ‘Born a Crime’
Why show him the world when he’s never going to leave the ghetto?
Trevor Noah is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller “Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood”. The autobiographical comedy book published in 2016 garnered critical acclaim.
The audio version is one of the highest-rated Audible performances of all time.
To date, ‘Born A Crime’ has sold over 1 million copies across all formats.
Born in Johannesburg, Noah launched his career as a comedian, presenter and actor in his hometown in 2002.
On the 28th of September 2015, Trevor Noah began his tenure as host of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central. He succeeded long-time host Jon Stewart and is set to remain in this position until 2022.
Below are nine lessons I learned from Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
1. In my world, a woman was the most powerful thing that I knew. Still is.
Trevor Noah describes his mother as a badass. A gangsta human being. At a time when it was illegal for races to intermarry, his mom went ahead and had him. His dad is of Swiss-German ancestry while his mom is Xhosa. His mother stood up at a time when people were afraid to go against authority. She stood up as a woman and as a black person. She lived the way she believed she should live, not by the dictates of the government.
His mother shaped the reality he existed in. She played a big role in determining who he became. By living a life she knew she should live, not one determined by others, she taught him to fight for himself. To demand his rights despite the circumstances.
In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, he said: “Most people would have a sign to protest government oppression. My mother had me.”
2. Whilst my mother couldn’t give me access to the world, she at least made sure to let me know it existed.
Trevor grew up in poverty.
He had limited access to material possessions. But his mom resolved to show him a world beyond what they had. So she took him to ice rinks, drive-ins and suburbs, the “things of the white people.” Neighbours and family did not understand why she did that. “Why show him the world when he’s never going to leave the ghetto?’’
‘‘Because,’ she would say, “even if he never leaves the ghetto, he will know that the ghetto is not the world. If that is all I accomplish, I’ve done enough.”
Poverty narrows your view of the world. Growing up poor, it can be difficult to visualise a life beyond what you have experienced. But his mother knew enough to expose him to the other life. A life of material wealth. A life he too could access, despite his early circumstances.
3. With what raw materials are the poor to make something of themselves?
People always lecture the poor: “Take responsibility for yourself! Make something of yourself!” But with what raw materials are the poor to make something of themselves? People.”
It is difficult for the poor to escape poverty.
People trapped in the cycle of poverty have either limited or no resources. They lack financial capital, education or connections to get out of the cycle, restricting their ability to build wealth.
These resources include:
- Education and retraining with new skills.
- Access to child care- which would enable a single parent or second parent to work or take classes.
- Transportation to a distant job.
- Relocation to an area with better economic opportunities.
- Resources to start a new business. Then conduct market research, hire technical help, and source for startup capital.
- Buy land for subsistence farming
- Treatment of a health condition that hinders work.
- Discouraging teenage pregnancy and finding ways in which to decrease their occurrence. This will ensure that when children are born, they are planned and wanted. Thus, they have a better chance of breaking the cycle of poverty.
“People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” What they don’t say is, “And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod.” That’s the part of the analogy that’s missing.”
4. Being rich is about having choices
According to Forbes, Trevor Noah is the fourth highest-paid comedian in the world. Forbes’ method is using all earnings estimated from June 1, 2018, to June 1, 2019.
Trevor Noah earned a staggering $28 million; the bulk of this was through stand-up.
His book Born A Crime spent 51 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list for paperback nonfiction. It was published in 2016.
“The first thing I learned about having money was that it gives you choices. People don’t want to be rich. They want to be able to choose. The richer you are, the more choices you have. That is the freedom of money.”
5. My stepfather wanted a traditional marriage with a traditional wife.
The ex-stepfather of Trevor Noah, Abel Shingange, abused his mother Patricia for years. She left, divorced him and remarried. When he got to know about the marriage, he tracked her down and shot her in the face and back.
Abel was the mechanic who repaired the second hand Volkswagen Beetle that she got for next to nothing. Because it was always breaking down. If it wasn’t for that old car he would never have gone looking for a mechanic. The mechanic who became the stepfather who tortured them for years. The stepfather who put a bullet into the back of his mother’s head.
“Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate or hate a person you love. It’s a strange feeling. You want to live in a world where someone is good or bad, where you either love or hate them, but that’s not how people are.”
6. Ever the outsider, I created my own strange little world
I wasn’t a lonely kid — I was good at being alone.
As a child, Trevor struggled to fit in. His mixed heritage meant he did not belong to any community.
Visits to the park with his family were elaborate moments of disguise. His dad would walk on the opposite side of the road from him and his mother. For fear of exposure, he could not call his father ‘Dad’ so he referred to him as Robert. His mom would dress in a maid’s uniform and act as his nanny. They were often accompanied to the park by a coloured friend who played the role of his mom.
On school holidays, he would visit his maternal grandmother in Soweto. The hide and seek games continued. From the age of three, his grandmother forbade him from playing outside with his cousins. They feared that the cops would pick him up and take him to a children’s home. Plus, his grandmother’s neighbour was an informer.
So he learnt from an early age to play by himself. To get lost in his mind.
I don’t have a place where I belong and that means I belong everywhere.
7. You can’t let the white child stand outside, bring him in here
I could champion racial justice in our home, or I could enjoy granny’s cookies. I went with the cookies.
Early in life, Trevor learnt the privileges that come with being white. He saw how easy it is for white people to get comfortable with a system that awards them all the perks.
His grandfather insisted on calling him master. He drove Trevor around as though he was his ‘chauffeur’- insisting that he ride in the back seat. His grandmother was afraid to spank him. She did not understand why his skin turned blue, green and red each time she hit him. So she let him get away with a lot of mischief. He knew that his cousins were getting beaten for his mistakes. But he wasn’t interested in correcting it.
Speaking up meant he would get beaten too.
Walking through Soweto, children would run up and touch him. Or they called their parents to see him.
His presence at a funeral elevated the status of the deceased. The bereaved appeared more shocked at his attendance than at the death of their loved one.
Rather than correct people, he went along with it. But he never understood that what was happening was due to his skin colour. He thought it happened because it was him, Trevor.
He understood that people were different. But to him, black, white and brown were like types of chocolates. At no time did his mother refer to his dad as white or him as mixed.
He never knew that any of it had to do with race.
But the real world doesn’t go away. Racism exists. People are getting hurt. And just because it’s not happening to you, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
8. A lesson on love from his dog, Fufi
Trevor’s first heartbreak was from his dog Fufi.
One evening, his mom came home with a gift from her workmate: two dogs. They named the dogs Fufi and Panther. Fufi was beautiful and dumb while Panther was ugly and smart. Fufi was Trevor’s dog. Trevor loved Fufi more than anything. He trained her, slept with her, and taught her tricks. Fufi could jump so high, she could jump above his head.
Despite locking the dogs up each morning, they would find Fufi outside the gate in the evening. They never understood how she got out.
Not only would Fufi jump over the fence, but she also visited a boy who lived several blocks away. Trevor confronted the young boy, asking him to give the dog back. But the boy was adamant Fufi was his dog. He even called him Stripes. Trevor pleaded for Fufi to come home with him, but she ignored him. What Trevor and his mom didn’t know was that Fufi was not dumb, she was deaf. This is why she never answered when he called out to her.
Trevor was heartbroken that Fufi ignored his pleas, but he was especially upset to see her with another boy. He couldn’t stop crying about Fufi’s disloyalty. After a heated debate and exchange of 100 rands, Trevor got his dog back.
His mother taught him an important lesson on the drive back home. It doesn’t matter that Fufi loves another boy, she is still your dog. In the end, that’s all that matters.
He calls this incident his first heartbreak, but he learned a valuable lesson. He learned that Fufi wasn’t cheating on him; she was living a full life. At the end of the day, she always came home when it was time. He had thought of Fufi as his dog, but he understood that Fufi was just a dog who loved him and lived in his house.
This understanding would shape how he thought of relationships for the rest of his life. He knows that people in love do not own each other, and he has avoided falling into despair, as many of his friends have as adults. Whenever a friend is dealing with jealousy or betrayal, Noah comforts them and tells them the story of Fufi.
A dog is a great thing for a kid to have. It’s like a bicycle but with emotions.
9. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to.
“What if…” “If only…” “I wonder what would have…” You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.”
As a teenager, Trevor had severe acne. He describes them as giant nodules on his face and around his neck. And the puss would ooze out of them. He had to go on medication. The medication made him suicidal and depressed. But, he had to go off it because of his kidneys. It was such a trying time.
His mom bought him oversized clothes, as he often outgrew his uniform. So he would hang around in the corner, watching the world go by. Not cool enough to date any girl. Trevor loved one young lady, but never dared to ask her out. Only after she moved away did he learn she had liked him too. He describes the pain of that, explaining that he always regretted his lack of not saying how he felt.
We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to.”
9 Takeaways from ‘Born a Crime’
To recap, here are the nine life lessons I learned from the book Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood:
- Trevor Noah’s mother played a big role in determining who he became.
- His mother’s resolve to show him a world beyond the ghetto taught him to aim high in life.
- Lack of financial capital, education or connections restricts the ability of the poor to build wealth.
- Having money gives you freedom of choice.
5. Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate or hate a person you love.
6. Being of mixed heritage, it was difficult for Trevor Noah to fit into any community.
7. Early in life, Trevor learnt how easy it is for white people to get comfortable with a system that awards them all the perks.
8. People in love do not own each other.
9. Regret, not failure, is the thing we should fear most.
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