$800 billion for a Mother’s Day Bouquet?
The first flower shop that sells bouquets at prices that represent what moms are truly worth.
‘Marshall Plan for Moms’ initiator and CEO of ‘Girls Who Code’, Reshma Saujani, has opened a flower store that you should definitely visit. It’s called ‘Moms Deserve More’. The prices are funny, but the point is very serious.
Why I sent my mom friend a big bouquet of flowers
A few days ago, a mom friend called me after a long time. She has two children: one in elementary school age and one a teenager. Well, actually she has three children. Her husband is still one too, she said jokingly. But I heard a sad undertone and inquired how she had been doing with her ‘three’ children since the outbreak of the pandemic. The summary: Although her husband is able to work from home, she continues to care primarily for the children — and for him. She is only able to work part-time, and is even considering quitting altogether because she also has to homeschool her children. She was so exhausted, she said, that she felt she was on the verge of burnout.
The main problem is that her husband works from home and she takes care of the children. That is not too much to ask, he would say. After all, she’s ‘the mother’.
This story made me so angry that I would have loved to go to her husband and read him the riot act. But I’m too diplomatic for that. I have my own family with a baby and it’s Covid-19 outside. So what could I do?
To express my female solidarity and let her know that I was there for her, that she should believe in herself, that better days will come again and hopefully she won’t have to quit her job, I sent her a big bouquet of flowers💐.
When she received the bouquet, she almost cried on the phone. The marriage was about to end. After more than 20 years.
She didn’t need to tell me that. I had recognized that from her tone. So I said, cheekily: ‘Why don’t you tell your husband that the bouquet must be from an admirer? He doesn’t have to know that it was me.’ She confessed, laughing, that that idea had already crossed her.
Mothers are priceless
So my friend already has her Mother’s Day flowers. Not from her husband or her children, as it should be, but from a mom who feels for her and wants her to feel better. She always loved her job and was very successful at it. Of course, she also loved her family. But I realize that I, too, combine many roles in myself that shape my identity. Of course, since the birth of my son, I’ve been Mom first and foremost. I am needed. But I’m also a product manager and, more recently, a medium writer.
Time and time again, the media says the work we do as mothers in the pandemic is priceless. Mothers are priceless. Yes, indeed! But there is a lot of invisible and unpaid work at home.
- When we have a job, we struggle to balance work and family.
- If we’ve lost our job, we’re even afraid to tell our next employer that we’re moms.
- If the pandemic has turned us into stay-at-home moms (SAHMs), we might be exhausted and frustrated, not only because of the kids but because we have lost a part of our identity.
With Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time to say thank you to us and to other mothers around the world. I’m writing this story from Germany. But all over the world, the same grievances exist. Especially in America.
Now, when you think of Mother’s Day gifts to say thank you for everything, flowers come immediately to mind. Maybe a nice colorful bouquet like the one I sent to my friend?
Moms deserve more this Mother’s Day
In keeping with this year’s Mother’s Day, Reshma Saujani, founder and CEO of Girls Who Code, has opened a Flower Store. It’s called ‘Moms Deserve More’ flowers store.
So if you’re planning to purchase flowers for a loved one on Mother’s Day in this particular store, ‘you’ll find beautiful bouquets for reasonable prices to thank women and especially moms for everything they did last year.’
Let me know which one you will order💐!
- Unpaid Work Bouquet $800 billion
- The Lack of Childcare Bouquet $13,000
- The Lost Job Bouquet $36,000
- The Pay Gap Bouquet $15,000
- The Paid Leave Bouquet $9,500
- The Mental Stress Bouquet $3,500
Key question: You can’t afford one of these, then why do you think mothers can?
What to thank Moms for?
Saujani’s campaign names a lot of reasons to buy a bouquet for mothers. First and foremost, it’s for giving up their careers, as my friend is planning to do. It’s for unpaid caregiving help.
If you still don’t know what to write on the greeting card, the campaign sums it up:
‘Hey Mom, thanks for saving America’s A$$ during the global pandemic.’
Here are other unpaid reasons:
- Unpaid homeschooling
- Unpaid nap and meeting juggling
- Unpaid childcare
- Unpaid personal assistant
- Unpaid working from a closet
- Unpaid economy safety net
- Unpaid pulling hair out
- Unpaid marriage therapist
- Unpaid personal shopper
- Unpaid Zoom IT for kindergarteners
- Unpaid chauffeur
- Unpaid gym teacher
- Unpaid laundry service
- Unpaid house cleaner
- Unpaid 1st grade reading teacher
- Unpaid lunch and spreadsheet maker
- Unpaid sleep loss
- Unpaid dog sitting
In her latest article, How much am I worth?
Kristen Sears Cudd shared a valuable spreadsheet for all SAHMs and mothers out there to calculate their unpaid labor. It’s at least $67,520 p.a.:
It’s time for action and advocacy
Working mothers especially are facing the burden of the pandemic, exhausted from the demands of child care and housework. Many see no path ahead but to quit working, despite the fact that children are, in most cases, the responsibility of two parents, not just one. Nevertheless, in this pandemic, mothers are the first to lose their jobs because of their extra burden of keeping their families together.
For that reason, talk of a kind of a ‘Marshall Plan for Moms’ to fight for gender equality is on the political table. Bold solutions are needed to provide moms with the relief and compensation they deserve for working these double shifts.
OXFAM International reports that, due to Covid, mothers have lost out on 800 billion dollars from job cuts and stepping away from their careers to care for their children. Saujani states that ‘more than 30 years of progress for women in the workforce were erased in nine months. (…)We need to put a value on our labor.’
Companies such as Spotify, Facebook, Google and Accenture already offer special packages for mothers. But that’s not enough. Moms are the social safety net all around the world and they deserve more support.
Moms can’t take bouquets to the bank
It’s such an important point to make this year. If the bouquets are too expensive for you, share a digital bouquet for instance via twitter with a mom who deserves more or tag her via medium in a Mother’s Day article (tell her why you value her) — let’s get relational Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg).
Dear Medium Moms, may your Mother’s Day be filled with love, joy and rest.
Best, Kristina 💐
Let’s get relational tags from me to all the wonderful medium moms out there I’ve been in contact with lately. Here are my virtual bouquet💐s for you💐💐💐 ( I know these are only a few mothers. There are many more!! I just couldn’t remember all. I’m sorry. It’s late and I’m very tired 🥱)
Roz Warren Patricia Rosa Samantha Drobac Adelina Vasile Lori A. Coleman Mindy Morgan Avitia Kate Foster Heather C Holmes Sara Melissa Frost Julie van Maanen Elin Anita Melaas Courtney Burry Katiebjackson Niru Karine Barbier Mary DeVries Adrienne Beaumont Katie Michaelson Amy Marley Melissa Strack Sandy Gold Stacey B Erin Hendriksen Yana Bostongirl Ann O' Connell Lindsay Brown Emma Hiatt Wilson mari Marianne Sherret Eva Grape Shailaja Sylvia Emokpae Cassandra Anderson Robin Jessie-Green Acacia Bergin Melissa Steussy Jennifer Jarvis Burt Manoush Zomorodi Kristina Segarra