8 Tips From Porn Stars To Improve Your Sex Life

And they involve eyes, ears, brains, and feet

When you want the best advice on a topic, you go to the professionals — the people who are experts in their field.

So who better to turn to for advice on sex than porn stars? To help you with your sex life, I spent hours finding the best sex advice from adult actors and actresses.

And in doing so, I was perhaps the only person in the world who spent the day Googling porn stars without clicking on a single video.

The things I do — or instead don't do — for my readers.

1. Keep your clothes on

OK, I thought I would start with a tip that may seem counterintuitive.

But it comes from the Queen of Porn Star Sex Tips — a cool title I just made up — Jessica Drake. Drake has a lot of videos and guides featuring tips she learned from her years as an adult actress.

This rather strange tip involves keeping your shoes on during sex.

"The reason we keep our shoes on is because it elongates our legs and pushes our [butts] up so that certain positions feel better for you," Drake says. She said this also helps during role play and dress up — keeping your shoes on will help you stay in character.

Plus, I guess it's good on cold nights.

2. Use lube

There is a misconception about using artificial lubricants during sex. If you require lubrication, you are old or not turned on enough.

But porn star Daizha Morgann says that's not the case.

"I believe there's a weird stigma surrounding women using lube — that it's an indication that you're getting old. I never used lube until I started filming porn, and now I can't live without it because it makes sex so much more enjoyable," she says.

Morgann says coconut oil is the best lubricant to use if you aren't using condoms. However, if you are using condoms, avoid oil-based lubes as they can weaken latex causing it to break. For those using condoms, she recommended water or silicone-based lubes.

3. Ask what your partner wants

I've written previously about the importance of communication in a relationship, so I am glad that porn star Stoya Cooper agrees with me.

"As performers, we're usually handed a 20-page contract that says, 'Here's payment info. Here's what you're doing. Do you consent to this?' many times. There are also constant check-ins between performers and directors; it's really supposed to be an open dialogue. Simply having a conversation about what sexual partners want and don't want is the best way to increase desire and improve the scene. In my personal life, it's the same case. There's nothing that turns me on more than someone who asks me what I want."

Now I don't advise going to bed with a 20-page contract and a lawyer on hand, but conversations are essential. Asking what your partner enjoys and if something feels good is the best way to satisfy them — and in turn, lead to better sex.

4. Longer doesn't mean better

Porn can lead to unrealistic expectations and distorted views of sex.

One thing many men take away from watching pornography is the need to last for hours — however, very few women want that.

"Sexual endurance is normalized in porn — but it's important not to hold yourself up to those standards. Unless a woman has learned everything she knows about sex from porn as well, she's not expecting that from you — so don't psych yourself out," says Lea Hatt.

The research backs this up.

A 2005 Society for Sex Therapy and Research member survey found that vaginal sex that lasts more than 10 minutes is considered "too long." The average time that most couples have sex is 5.4 minutes.

5. Aural sex

Aural sex could be the new oral sex.

This involves listening to the sounds your partner makes. Porn actor Ryan Driller says that consists of listening to your partner's breathing, their heartbeat, and how they react to your moves.

He says that listening to the subtle cues your partner makes will help you be able to satisfy them. Of course, not every person will moan or scream like that infamous orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally, so you may have to listen for a soft sigh and react accordingly.

6. Eyes, eyes, baby

Nothing is sexier than intimacy, and a great way to convey this is through the eyes.

Tasha Reign advises that being in the moment and connecting with your partner will strengthen your sex life.

"We're all in our heads too much. It's important to let go and really be present. Intimacy is not achieved through simple penetration but through really connecting with your significant other on a personal level. Make eye contact. Hear and feel them. Be present."

It is why some porn stars say missionary is their favorite position.

Nina Yang says, "done well; it's just super-dandy, eye contact, kissing, deep penetration, classic Yin-Yang interaction."

Nina Elle — I guess Nina is a popular name for adult actresses, agrees, saying, "my favorite sexual position is missionary because, to me, it's the most personal position. There's lots of eye contact, and I love feeling my partner on top of me."

7. Netflix and chill

For this next tip, we turn to Angel Long, who won the coveted Golden Cock award for Best Series in 2013 — yes, I just found out that was a thing. Long advises people just to relax. Basically, if you are going to Netflix and chill, focus on the chill.

Long says that "the times where we don't care about sweat getting all over the place, or disheveled hair or makeup was undoubtedly the best experiences."

Letting go of any negative thoughts or worries helps you enjoy the experience and makes the sex more memorable.

Or, in the words of our Golden Cock winner, "sex is messy, don't worry too much about how you look. Just make sure that it feels really fucking good."

8. The most important sexual organ

I started with a tip from Jessica Drake, so I will end with one from her, and it involves the most important sexual organ of all — the brain.

After all, that is where sex starts — the brain transmits signals that lead to genital arousal. The brain will also begin to release dopamine, making you feel good.

So why not start with some brain stimulation?

“When you’re together, foreplay doesn’t have to start as overtly sexual. Sex is mental in so many ways, so appease your [significant other’s] senses with an amazing meal, a glass of wine, and some conversation. If this isn’t something you do on a regular basis, it might seem forced in the beginning, but once you both relax, expect connectivity in shared conversation. I call this brain sex, and it’s some of my favorite foreplay.” Jessica Drake

You probably won't find many videos on Pornhub that are primarily people having dinner and conversation, but it's wise advice from Drake.

If you liked this article, join the popular people receiving my free weekly email or buy my new book — Come Again. It will really make my mom happy.