8 Tips For Self-Development from Dr. Jordan Peterson

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Abstract

: It is necessary to be strong in the face of death because death is intrinsic to life. It is for this reason that he tells his students, “aim to be the person at your father’s funeral that everyone, in their grief and misery, can rely on”. It’s indeed a worthy and noble ambition, strength in the face of adversity — <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVS7_q3bmbA">BE THE STRONGEST PERSON AT YOUR FATHER’S FUNERAL — Jordan Peterson — Motivational Speech, Emotional — YouTube</a></li><li>It is better to be engaged in the solution of a complex problem than not to have a problem at all: One of the things that’s a common baseline to most of his work is the conversation around taking responsibility i.e., picking a load and carrying it. Think about it, people we respect in our lives are generally the one’s who take responsibility and are working towards ‘something’. Hence, for us to be able to respect ourselves, we need to do the same i.e., take responsibility and engage ourselves in ‘doing’. If we don’t, then all we’ll have is meaningless suffering. Responsibility gives life meaning. It’s not a matter of what you ‘should’ do, just do whatever you want to do but do something.</li><li>Proper domain for sexual morality: Don’t do anything with anyone that you couldn’t talk to them about. If you feel uncomfortable talking about what you’re doing, you don’t have a level of psychological intimacy that should allow for that level of physical intimacy. I’ve applied this rule to some of my dates and in hindsight, by using this perspective as a frame of reference and not jumping into bed in the very first instance, it has saved both the parties a lot of pain and suffering. Put this to test when next time you jump the gun and sleep with someone without knowing them by investing time in them. If you find yourself not being able to ‘comfortably’ talk about ‘last night’, chances are, that relationship will not grow into something meaningful and long-lasting.</li><li>Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today: If one thing that we have really gotten good at doing in today’s society is comparing ourselves with other people. Sometimes, you need to compare yourself to push yourself harder. However, in most instances, by comparing ourselves to others, we end up feeling miserable and depressed as we put ourselves down rather than pushing ourselves up. By using this novel thought of comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, you can change that narrative in your mind and actually start investing in self-development. You’ll no longer be competing with other people who might be putting fancy content on their Instagrams, but more often than not, are miserable in their real life. If you just compare yourself to your previous version and continue to improve upon it, over time, the magic of compounding will happen. You’ll end

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up at a place where, when you’ll look back, you’ll not believe where you started from and where you’ve reached.</li><li>Ability to think and speak and write: If you can think and speak and write, you are absolutely deadly. Nothing can get in your way. Come to think of it, everything in life, whether personal or professional, comes down to your ability to think, speak and write. Whether its work assignments or having tough conversation with your partner or parents or friends etc., the ability to clearly think and speak and write is indeed a superpower. And if you can master it, then you’ll be unstoppable. Here’s some writing tips from from Dr Peterson that can help you improve your writing and articulation abilities — <a href="https://alexandbooks.com/archive/writing-tips-from-dr-jordan-b-peterson">Writing Tips from Dr. Jordan B. Peterson — Alex & Books (alexandbooks.com)</a></li><li>Fear of having confronting conversations: You should be terrified of the consequences of not speaking your mind and that should counterbalance the fear of having confronting conversations. Generally, we delay conflicts, hoping that by delaying, we might be able to avoid them altogether. Sadly, that hardly ever works and rather the opposite happens. Conflict delayed is often conflict multiplied. Therefore, instead of avoiding our problems and conflicts, as Dr. Peterson puts it, a better strategy might be to prepare oneself to face the demands of life voluntarily, to respond to a challenge instead of bracing for a catastrophe.</li><li>Treat yourself as someone you care for: You have to come to treat yourself as if you’re someone that you care for. You should negotiate with yourself, (and not tyrannize yourself) like you are negotiating with someone that you care for and that you would like to be productive and have a good life. That’s how, in essence, you make a schedule and you stick to it. You should put forward to yourself the same sympathy that you would extend to someone else that you cared for, even though you may not feel like you deserve it (rather especially if you feel like you don’t deserve it).</li><li>Working towards a goal rather than achieving it: You want a goal that you can never attain so you can always move closer to the goal that recedes as you move towards it. As Garyvee says, his goal is to buy the New York Jets and he accepts that he might not ever achieve that goal. What motivates him though is the pursuit of that goal, not the end result of achieving that goal. Pursuing an ‘unachievable’ goal is never frustrating. As you pursue that goal, you’ll have to put yourself together and hence your life will get better, richer and more abundant. You’ll aim to climb uphill to the highest peak so you can possibly envision what’s left out there to conquer, and that’s much better than ‘happiness’.</li></ol></article></body>

8 Tips For Self-Development from Dr. Jordan Peterson

Dr. Jordan Peterson, as per his Wikipedia bio, is a Candian clinical psychologist, YouTube personality, author, and professor emeritus at the University of Toronto. He began to receive widespread attention as a public intellectual in the late 2010s for his views on cultural and political issues, and he’s often described as conservative. You can read more about him on his website — Jordan Peterson | About (jordanbpeterson.com)

Although I don’t agree with everything he says but for the most part, I think he makes a lot of sense. Especially the way he articulates his arguments, that’s just impeccable use of language and that’s why he’s considered as one the great intellectuals of the western world.

Clearly, I am a fan (and hence this article) but I implore you to watch some of his content and then decide for yourself. Here’s some suggestions to get you rolling:

Needless to say, I have consumed quite a bit of his content and in this article, I’ve tried to share the nuggets of wisdom that resonated most with me. You may like him or hate him or be indifferent, but you gotta admit he’s an original who has his way and thoughts about the world and brings them to audiences around the world with great articulation and passion. On that note, let’s get into it.

Be the person at your father’s funeral that everyone, in their grief and misery, can rely on: It is necessary to be strong in the face of death because death is intrinsic to life. It is for this reason that he tells his students, “aim to be the person at your father’s funeral that everyone, in their grief and misery, can rely on”. It’s indeed a worthy and noble ambition, strength in the face of adversity — BE THE STRONGEST PERSON AT YOUR FATHER’S FUNERAL — Jordan Peterson — Motivational Speech, Emotional — YouTube

It is better to be engaged in the solution of a complex problem than not to have a problem at all: One of the things that’s a common baseline to most of his work is the conversation around taking responsibility i.e., picking a load and carrying it. Think about it, people we respect in our lives are generally the one’s who take responsibility and are working towards ‘something’. Hence, for us to be able to respect ourselves, we need to do the same i.e., take responsibility and engage ourselves in ‘doing’. If we don’t, then all we’ll have is meaningless suffering. Responsibility gives life meaning. It’s not a matter of what you ‘should’ do, just do whatever you want to do but do something.

Proper domain for sexual morality: Don’t do anything with anyone that you couldn’t talk to them about. If you feel uncomfortable talking about what you’re doing, you don’t have a level of psychological intimacy that should allow for that level of physical intimacy. I’ve applied this rule to some of my dates and in hindsight, by using this perspective as a frame of reference and not jumping into bed in the very first instance, it has saved both the parties a lot of pain and suffering. Put this to test when next time you jump the gun and sleep with someone without knowing them by investing time in them. If you find yourself not being able to ‘comfortably’ talk about ‘last night’, chances are, that relationship will not grow into something meaningful and long-lasting.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today: If one thing that we have really gotten good at doing in today’s society is comparing ourselves with other people. Sometimes, you need to compare yourself to push yourself harder. However, in most instances, by comparing ourselves to others, we end up feeling miserable and depressed as we put ourselves down rather than pushing ourselves up. By using this novel thought of comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, you can change that narrative in your mind and actually start investing in self-development. You’ll no longer be competing with other people who might be putting fancy content on their Instagrams, but more often than not, are miserable in their real life. If you just compare yourself to your previous version and continue to improve upon it, over time, the magic of compounding will happen. You’ll end up at a place where, when you’ll look back, you’ll not believe where you started from and where you’ve reached.

Ability to think and speak and write: If you can think and speak and write, you are absolutely deadly. Nothing can get in your way. Come to think of it, everything in life, whether personal or professional, comes down to your ability to think, speak and write. Whether its work assignments or having tough conversation with your partner or parents or friends etc., the ability to clearly think and speak and write is indeed a superpower. And if you can master it, then you’ll be unstoppable. Here’s some writing tips from from Dr Peterson that can help you improve your writing and articulation abilities — Writing Tips from Dr. Jordan B. Peterson — Alex & Books (alexandbooks.com)

Fear of having confronting conversations: You should be terrified of the consequences of not speaking your mind and that should counterbalance the fear of having confronting conversations. Generally, we delay conflicts, hoping that by delaying, we might be able to avoid them altogether. Sadly, that hardly ever works and rather the opposite happens. Conflict delayed is often conflict multiplied. Therefore, instead of avoiding our problems and conflicts, as Dr. Peterson puts it, a better strategy might be to prepare oneself to face the demands of life voluntarily, to respond to a challenge instead of bracing for a catastrophe.

Treat yourself as someone you care for: You have to come to treat yourself as if you’re someone that you care for. You should negotiate with yourself, (and not tyrannize yourself) like you are negotiating with someone that you care for and that you would like to be productive and have a good life. That’s how, in essence, you make a schedule and you stick to it. You should put forward to yourself the same sympathy that you would extend to someone else that you cared for, even though you may not feel like you deserve it (rather especially if you feel like you don’t deserve it).

Working towards a goal rather than achieving it: You want a goal that you can never attain so you can always move closer to the goal that recedes as you move towards it. As Garyvee says, his goal is to buy the New York Jets and he accepts that he might not ever achieve that goal. What motivates him though is the pursuit of that goal, not the end result of achieving that goal. Pursuing an ‘unachievable’ goal is never frustrating. As you pursue that goal, you’ll have to put yourself together and hence your life will get better, richer and more abundant. You’ll aim to climb uphill to the highest peak so you can possibly envision what’s left out there to conquer, and that’s much better than ‘happiness’.