8 Subtle Ways Psychedelics Have Improved My Day-To-Day

More presence, joy, clarity, and inner peace.

Around two years ago, I had my first psychedelic journey. Reading Michael Pollan’s “How To Change Your Mind” sparked an initial interest that was soon insatiable, and I spent an entire year thereafter soaking up all the resources. Once I felt ready to have my own first experience, it was intentional and in a safe environment, and it was absolutely beautiful.

Since that first experience, I’ve had around 2–3 journeys per year, and it’s made me a happier, healthier, and more connected human. I’ve experienced these powerful compounds in many several ways: plant medicine healing ceremonies, microdosing, and more recreationally.

It’s time we destigmatize the intentional use of plant medicine and make space to pave the way for psychedelic literacy and more access to these tools. Not only is there an immense potential in treating mental illnesses for which current quo treatment options are ineffective, such as depression, addiction, PTSD, and anxiety. Psychedelics can also improve the lives of those who don’t struggle with their mental health by boosting overall well-being.

I’ve previously written about some of the big picture world view changes they’ve triggered in me, as well as about the deep healing I’ve experienced through plant medicine. Today I’d like to discuss the topic from a different angle: the small ways in which they’ve improved my ordinary daily life.

1. My Mood Improved Greatly

When I came to psychedelics my mental health was at its worst. I was struggling with episodes of severe depression. As I later came to understand they were almost exclusively induced hormonally, as a symptom of a condition called “Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)”. PMDD is severely under-researched and has extremely poor treatment options — a lot of women suffer greatly, oftentimes without even being aware of what is causing their symptoms. It often takes quite a while to receive the PMDD diagnosis as it’s easily mistaken as regular depression.

Writer and mother of four, Ayelet Waldman, wrote a book about her experience microdosing LSD to treat her PMDD, which I read as part of my initial research on psychedelics before even realizing I had PMDD myself.

So when I got the diagnosis and was presented with the option to either go on the contraception pill or SRRIs, I decided to do neither and give microdosing a try first. During a 30-day experiment following the James Fadiman protocol with Psilocybin, I had a similar experience to Ayelet — it made a “mega difference” in my mood and life. And the best thing is that, unlike the pill or SRRIs, I don’t have to do it every day.

I don’t microdose regularly now, because I don’t feel the need to. My mood has improved significantly, which I not only attribute to my experiment with Microdosing but also to my more profound experiences with higher doses.

My baseline mood is higher, and while I still have lows, they are not as low as they used to be.

It’s almost as the veil has lifted and I’m allowing myself to be happier for no reason (or small reasons) more often. And I don’t dwell in my misery as much anymore. I feel more deeply, which yes, means I feel both negative and positive emotions stronger. But honoring my sensitivity and allowing myself to feel deeply has improved my mood by allowing me to move through my emotions rather than suppressing or avoiding them.

2. I’m More Present And More Frequently in Awe

These two things go together because, in order to cultivate awe, you need to be extremely present.

I’m not proud to admit that I used to be a very unimpressed person. My emotional scale was limited, and since I didn’t allow myself to feel my pain, positive emotions were equally scarce.

I always envied the people who were so easily excitable. And when I didn’t envy them, I doubted them. The way a friend would get excited about how clear the ocean is, how nice the sun feels on his skin, how tasty his sandwich is. I’d think, “these things can’t possibly be as good as he makes them sound”.

Now, I am that person. I’m the person who won’t shut up about how great the ocean’s water feels on my skin, I’m the annoying person who stops and takes a closer look at every flower she passes.

I’m pulled in and touched deeply by anything in nature. It doesn’t take much. Looking at a beautiful sunset, or any plant, or an animal’s eyes makes me deeply happy. I can feel the awe and love bubble up.

Part of the reason that I became that person is that my mind is quieter now. I’m sure being a long-term meditator is partially to thank for that. But it’s the psychedelics that have reconnected me to nature and other humans in a way that I am now able to so deeply appreciate the beauty around me.

3. I Became Sober Curious

I attribute embracing the alcohol-free life almost exclusively to psychedelics.

After an immensely profound plant healing ceremony with mother Ayahuasca in Costa Rica, alcohol lost its lure for me. I didn’t have any previous intention to quit, but it’s been over half a year now and I don’t miss it at all.

Being a non-drinker has definitely reinforced many of the things on this list: the ability to be more present, my improved mood, and so on.

The ways in which psychedelics nudged me to give up alcohol are multi-faceted. On one hand, I have much more self-acceptance and am way more comfortable in my skin. No longer do I need to drink to put myself at ease in a crowd and become more chatty or sociable. Psychedelics have also added clarity to my life with regards to what matters and what kind of person I want to be. Alcohol simply did not fit into that picture anymore. I wanted ultimate presence, active and joy-filled weekends, real connection. I didn’t feel like drinking aided any of these.

I would still call myself “sober curious”, but the more time passes, the more I’m thinking that I will just be sober. The longer I go without, the less I feel like I ever need it in my life again. But of course, that could change any time.

4. I Quit Smoking

I started smoking cigarettes when I was 14 which is unfortunately very common in Austria where I grew up. I was an insecure teenager and it made me feel cool and less awkward and helped me socialize. It quickly became a habit and I became a heavy smoker during my party girl years (14–20). Once I started working, I evolved into being a (mostly) social smoker.

I tried to quit a couple of times, I knew it was bad, I hated the habit, but I couldn’t kick it. I read Allan Carr but nothing stuck.

When I moved to New York for my MBA during my mid-20s (enter party girl phase #2) my nicotine intake grew in almost direct proportion to my alcohol intake. I eventually switched to vaping (Juul) thinking it was less harmful but after a year of fostering an even worse nicotine addiction realized it wasn’t.

I seriously tried quitting cigarettes unsuccessfully probably five times, until eventually, psychedelics made it effortless and natural.

I remember one mushroom trip during which I reflected on how gross smoking was, but unfortunately, it wasn’t enough yet for me to quit permanently. I was always surrounded by smokers so even after that I usually gave in. It planted a seed though.

When I wrote down my New Year’s intention for 2020, “finally quitting smoking” was one of them. I didn’t set a specific date, I just wanted to quit. I had a wild New Year’s eve and a cigarette on January 1st, 2020 — little did I know it would be my last.

In preparation for my Ayahuasca retreat early in the year, I had to abstain from nicotine. After my ceremonies, the physical craving for nicotine almost entirely vanished. At the same time, my desire to treat my body well increased as a direct result of the healing I experienced. So when I did have physical cravings (usually on those few occasions I was still drinking and surrounded by other smokers), it was easier to ignore them. I shifted from knowing why I shouldn’t smoke, to wondering why I would ever do such a thing as smoke.

5. My Inner Critic Became Quieter

Ok, listen, I’d be lying if I didn’t caveat this by saying I’m still working on this. I think we all are. It’s the predicament of our beautiful human mind and the ego that allows us to survive in the material world and accomplish so much.

Without a doubt though, my inner critic has toned down the volume. It’s less obnoxious. It’s still there, but it’s more often than not just a whisper, as opposed to the loud yell that I was used to.

I noticed that on days I microdosed, the inner critic was usually not present. After my first Ayahuasca ceremony, during which I was guided to remember how to feel love for myself (and others), it was on mute for a few weeks.

Wow, those were some nice few weeks, let me tell you. Too good to be true. Without the nagging bitch in my head who told me I was fat / ugly / lazy / incompetent / broken / flawed / unloveable.

She’s since returned, but it’s almost like psychedelics have helped me set boundaries with her.

I can’t change that she’s there and that she bugs me.

But I can change how I react to it.

These days, when she pays me a visit to remind me I’m not enough for this or that reason, there’s a part of me that listens and smiles. Because it knows that that’s bullshit. And that’s the same part that I so frequently reconnect with during my psychedelic journeys.

6. I Lost My Phobias

I used to have several fears and phobias.

My main phobia was spiders. It was bad. I would have nightmares of spiders rappeling from the ceiling above me onto my face and would awake and jump out of my bed in pure panic. If there was a spider in sight, an uncomfortably loud scream of mine was guaranteed.

I also feared other animals, including dogs.

And I feared the ocean. All those things swimming below me that I couldn’t see, no thanks.

Don’t ask me how, but for some reason, all of these have disappeared over the last two years, ever since psychedelics have entered my life.

My psychedelic journeys have re-connected me to nature in such a profound way that I now fear nothing that comes of it.

When I see a spider I get closer to observe it — sometimes even cultivating awe. I gently escort it outside without hesitation.

I swim in the ocean without a care in the world.

And I now have a dog.

7. I Became More Care-Free

Psychedelics show you a bigger picture in a profound and mind-altering way. Perspective shits are almost guaranteed if you journey with intention (and big enough doses). And when you realize what matters (love, connection, union), you also realize all the things that don’t (money, status, possessions).

I used to be such a perfectionist in everything I do. I’d get upset over the smallest things. Overthink insignificant decisions.

All of that is not the case anymore.

The small stuff just doesn’t fuzz me.

And when there is less to worry about, you become much more open. Open to experiences, to other humans, to animals. Yes, a little caution is always helpful. And I haven’t lost that completely.

But living care-free is so. incredibly. freeing.

8. I Find Joy More Easily

This one, again, is quite connected with some of the other themes.

I think chasing happiness is an illusion. The goal should not be happy, but to be in a state where we surrender to that which is at all times. Whether it’s happiness or darkness. We can’t control the flow of life.

Instead of chasing happiness, I now chase joy. Which is much easier, and most importantly, much more actionable. Chasing joy doesn’t feel like an impossible treasure hunt, more like a little hide and seek that I get to play each day.

What’s one small thing I can today that will bring me joy?

It’s not hard to craft experiences that create it. It’s really all the small things. I buy myself flowers every week. If I go on a walk and there’s a cute little bench I take a seat for a second and soak up the sun on my face. I wear colorful clothes. My apartment looks like a plant nursery. I play music at all times. Sometimes I light palo santo and have a little solo dance party in my apartment like a weirdo. All these things bring me so much joy.

Maybe you’re someone who already does these things, but I wasn’t. Before psychedelics, I wore mostly black, had a pretty dim outlook on the day from the moment I woke up, always rushed from one thing or place to another. Always doing things for the outcome, rarely for the sake of doing them.

Aka, the thief of joy.

A final closing remark: psychedelics are no magic pill. If you’re looking for a magic pill, it’s not it. (Also from my experience, there is none).

I of course don’t advocate illegal drug use. But I do want to shed light on the reality of these substances. In my opinion, it all comes down to intention. With the right intentions, psychedelics can do wonderful things for you.

Alcohol is the most used drug and the only one where you have to defend yourself if you don’t take it. But then you mention psychedelics to someone who isn’t already immersed in the science and culture of it, and all they think of is hard drugs.

Let’s change that.

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