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lity within her music.</p><p id="6269">She also had time to make tunes about having Ice Cream for breakfast —</p><ul><li><b>Is It a Crime</b></li><li><b>The Sweetest Taboo</b></li><li><b>Never as Good as the First Time</b></li></ul><p id="4056">I’m with you, Sade! Ice Cream for the win!</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — Smooth Operator</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Paradise</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Diamond Life</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — Hang on to Your Love</b></li></ul><h1 id="d6fa">5. PJ Harvey</h1><figure id="369d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*xIKzAfiI8BllJUdc-L45cA.jpeg"><figcaption><b>Throwback to when PJ was busy, so a pigeon performed in her place</b> — Photo: <a href="https://diymag.com/news/pj-harvey-the-xx-franz-ferdinand-flume-headline-rock-en-seine-2017">DIY Mag</a></figcaption></figure><p id="67e6">Punky PJ always sets the tone for alternative rebellious somber melodies! In other words, she’s pretty cool but slightly depressing. Depressing in a good way, though…you know what I mean!</p><p id="9a03">Harvey’s sound ranges from Alternative Rock to Folk Rock. So basically, from Gothic Supervillain to Irish farmer. If that’s not a musical range to be desired, then I don’t know what is.</p><p id="7626">A diverse artist with soft songs turned heavy such as “Rub ’Til It Bleeds, Harvey really knows how to flick the switch and get you out of your seat headbanging until you’ve got whiplash.</p><p id="fc7a">She can, however, show her softer side in tracks like “Horses In My Dreams.” PJ is a true definition of an artist. As well as an advocate of dreaming about animals. Great stuff!</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — This Mess We’re In</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Rub ’Til It Bleeds</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — When Under Ether</b></li></ul><h1 id="5800">4. Beyoncé</h1><figure id="3aca"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*IMSCXS5N_hgPF3DLO21v0Q.jpeg"><figcaption><b>When the invite says “Smart-Casual”</b> — Photo: <a href="https://www.digitalspy.com/music/a456021/beyonc-mrs-carter-show-first-world-tour-dates-announced/">Digital Spy</a></figcaption></figure><p id="f154">I must take my hat off to B. She’s put up with a lot in her career, but the most impressive might be putting up with her husband Jay Z’s tourettes:</p><p id="8e38"><b>“J’yeah”</b></p><p id="f63a"><b>“Hove!”</b></p><p id="fadf"><b>“Brooklyn!”</b></p><p id="b8f3">My word! What a woman!</p><p id="bf8b">Of course, Beyoncé is not in her husband’s shadow. Far from it!</p><p id="89d8">She is one of the most successful female artists arguably ever. She has some of the biggest hits of the Noughties and the 10s (whatever you call that decade?)</p><p id="36a4">Miss Knowles has undoubtedly conquered the music industry.</p><p id="9f27">One of her biggest hits may include the best dance move ever. “Single Ladies” brings with it a dance performed by B where it looks like she’s trying to lift her car handbrake up and down very angrily.</p><p id="7a78">Single Ladies was a very popular anthem for divorced women in their 40s who always want to speak to the manager at the local supermarket.</p><p id="5a6c">That, and that alone, might be Knowles’s greatest legacy.</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — Halo</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Crazy In Love (Ft. Jay Z)</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Dangerously In Love</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — APESHIT (The Carters)</b></li></ul><h1 id="8cc3">3. Rihanna</h1><figure id="5d02"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*Fcj3YRnDkrFN_FCJyvQlRg.jpeg"><figcaption><b>When you see your date has ditched you for a hot dog</b>— Photo: <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/rihanna--775111785845463035/">Pinterest</a></figcaption></figure><p id="6c8e">Where to start with Riri?</p><p id="05a3">Her albums “Music of the Sun” and “A Girl Like Me” got people noticing, but her 2007 collection of absolute bangers “Good Girl Gone Bad” really launched Rihanna to stardom.</p><p id="8b09">An innocent song about umbrellas and keeping dry in poor weather conditions was an absolute hit! The album also included “Shut Up And Drive” and “Rehab,” which I usually say to my mother as she shoves me into the car after I relapse on Kit Kats again.</p><p id="f100">The success didn’t stop there. Rihanna continued to dominate the charts. 2009 and 2010 brought us “Te Amo,” “Rude Boy,” and “Only Girl (In The World).”</p><p id="66c2">Since 2012, “Diamonds” and the Drake/Chris Brown feud, it’s been a bit quiet. Let’s hope she brings out more of the same iconic music soon because she has undoubted musical talent in abundance.</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — Umbrella</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Pon de Replay</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Good Girl Gone Bad</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — Rehab</b></li></ul><h1 id="b8c0">2. Madonna</h1><figure id="4e05"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*BB3hpViClznTedgpQhoByw.jpeg"><figcaption><b>When you’re cleaning your room and start finding loads of random crap</b> — Photo: <a href="https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&amp;ccid=AKCLpC6z&amp;id=33BD1DE251BF9DDBC15BAAE1C897683B3EC35F38&amp;thid=OIP.AKCLpC6zfvNH

Options

iYvp_fotzgHaKX&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fwww.hawtcelebs.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2018%2f08%2fmadonna-at-mtv-video-music-awards-in-new-york-08-20-2018-9.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR.00a08ba42eb37ef347898be9fdfa2dce%3frik%3dOF%252fDPjtol8jhqg%26pid%3dImgRaw%26r%3d0&exph=1680&expw=1200&q=madonna&simid=608035282156652628&FORM=IRPRST&ck=E5CDC67485026F1011B663138DE99166&selectedIndex=27&mode=overlay">Madonna — Bing</a></figcaption></figure><p id="a627">You’d be lucky to find a more talented female artist than Madonna. Even if she is bat-shit crazy.</p><p id="4514">A four-decade career, the Queen of Vogue started in the 80s with hit tracks like “Holiday” and Like a Virgin.”</p><p id="5369">The ever-adaptable Madonna adopted the sounds of the nineties, noughties, and the tens — (seriously though, what is this decade called?) — like an African child.</p><p id="24f7">Delving into the modern, songs like “4 Minutes” featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland made people sit up and remember that she was here to stay.</p><p id="a81d">Not only were her songs huge successes with incredible production behind the lyrics, but Madonna has also always been an exhilarating performer — ask Drake!</p><p id="fd84">Rihanna was round to Madonna’s house with a baseball bat after she kissed the Toronto rapper live on stage.</p><p id="bdde">Her appearance has always chopped and changed to match her ever-changing musical experimentation. She knows what the people want, even when they don’t know what they want. The music industry has always been about adaptability if you want a long career — and that’s exactly what Madonna has done.</p><p id="fa6f">She may look a bit like a Game of Thrones extra these days, but that just means we’re in store for some great medieval Madonna music!</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — Material Girl</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Holiday</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Like A Virgin</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — Hollywood</b></li></ul><h1 id="a5d3">1. Britney Spears</h1><figure id="96ab"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*4NNQbiSoL11P-8ESlWqdBw.jpeg"><figcaption><b>When you find a snake and need to sneeze at the same time</b> — Photo: <a href="https://www.grammy.com/news/britney-spears-album-anniversary-record-video">Kevin Mazur/Wire Image</a></figcaption></figure><p id="2144">It’s Britney bitch!</p><p id="a0a0">Apparently, this isn’t the best way to start off a funeral speech — but it’s iconic! Just like the woman herself!</p><p id="f2cd">Queen of the noughties Britney brought us undoubted classics in “Gimme More,” “One More Time,” and the water pollution anthem “Toxic.”</p><p id="b9bf">Another classic also reminds me of when I get blackout drunk and fall asleep in the bathtub clutching the cat. I’m, of course, talking about “Oops! I Did It Again.”</p><p id="3dc1">Spears has been through torture since her initial fame but has seemingly come out the other side. Despite the problems in her personal life, she has given us truly iconic hits that generations will be blasting on their phonographs or whatever young people listen to music on these days.</p><p id="6868">Britney owned the charts and will go down as one of the greatest female artists of all time!</p><p id="9796">She is also the first female musician to hold a snake whilst sneezing and singing simultaneously. A true talent of the ages.</p><ul><li><b>Top Song — Toxic</b></li><li><b>Favourite Song — Toxic</b></li><li><b>Best Album — Circus</b></li><li><b>Most Underrated Track — Circus</b></li></ul><h1 id="bfb1">It’s Not Over ‘Till The Big Boned Lady Sings</h1><figure id="f1c7"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*GKp0XfXb9ZlLLW7FS48uyQ.jpeg"><figcaption><b>When you haven’t quite got the hang of the guitar yet…</b>-Photo: <a href="https://unsplash.com/ja/@tenguyen?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Te NGuyen</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Wt7XT1R6sjU?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="5f67">That’s your lot, my friends!</p><p id="8f87">I hope you all enjoyed it and, if nothing else, you’ve found some great music to kick back and listen to from some of the best women in the game!</p><p id="2bf1">It was hard to pick just eight…there’s so much amazing female talent out there!</p><p id="1523">Happy listening! :)</p><p id="d385">Did you enjoy that adequate article with some mediocre jokes thrown in for good measure?</p><p id="a02a">Yes?</p><p id="8c10">Hooray! Luckily for you…there’s more of that below! ❤</p><div id="c3d2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/an-open-letter-to-my-ex-trumpet-teacher-e595f2aae578"> <div> <div> <h2>An Open Letter To My Ex-Trumpet Teacher</h2> <div><h3>“He really taught me how to blow”</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*cuSBh3q602I3PEL2HxB9Kg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Feminine Floorfillers

8 Phenomenally Fantastic Female Musicians!

Captain Jack Sparrow’s less successful younger sister — Photo: Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Aren’t women great?

Not only can they tell when men will do something stupid, but they also produce incredible music!

I’ve come up with eight of my favourite female artists of all time!

Why eight, you ask?

That was Eve’s favourite number of apples to arrange before Adam got them. Adam EIGHT them all.

Sorry.

Anyway, let’s have a look at some of the best musicians who can shoot little people out of their privates!

8. Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah featuring. Sexy Sax Sally — Photo: Pinterest

Multi-talented Queen Latifah rose to musical royalty with her skills on the mic in the late 80s and early 90s.

Despite one of my school friends thinking Queen Latifah was a Pharoah from Ancient Egypt, Latifah has become one of the most famous female rappers ever.

Hip-hop has always been a very masculine industry — but in the 90s, rap was incredibly raw and male-dominated.

Queen L’s aggressive approach put the men to shame as she showed off her lyrical prowess and beat selection whilst raising important issues surrounding black women.

The Queen (not the British one! RIP Liz) also portrayed her singing ability on many tracks. Thus putting her ahead of her rapping counterparts.

She also had a successful acting career. She starred alongside Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air before he started slapping people at award shows.

She was the first rapper to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show in 1997. In 2006 Latifah became the first hip-hop artist to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Thanks, Wikipedia!

A truly sensational female MC.

  • Top Song — U.N.I.T.Y
  • Favourite Song — Rough…
  • Best Album — Black Reign
  • Most Underrated Track — Mood Is Right

7. Stevie Nicks

When you’re imagining you’re on a Harley Davidson — Photo: Pinterest

Singer, songwriter, producer, and fan of high-volume hair — the great Stevie Nicks, everybody!

Famously known for her work with Fleetwood Mac, the band had huge success with studio albums such as “Fleetwood Mac/The White Album” and “Rumours.”

Stevie’s unique vocals and the band’s silky guitar play were a match made in heaven.

Nicks often performed next to bandmate Mick Fleetwood on stage, who was much taller than her. She found herself wearing platform boots to compete with the height of this absolute giant! This developed her look as a gothic witch that Bellatrix Lestrange would’ve been proud of.

She later went solo and had hits such as “Edge of Seventeen” and “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around.” The latter features the band Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

An incredible female artist with an iconic voice. Stevie “The Harley Davidson loving Witch” Nicks — we salute you!

  • Top Song — Edge of Seventeen
  • Favourite Song — Gold Dust Woman (Fleetwood Mac)
  • Best Album — Rumours (Fleetwood Mac)
  • Most Underrated Track — Oh Daddy (Fleetwood Mac)

6. Sade

The face of a happy singer who’s just made my Medium listicle! — Photo: Amazon.co.uk : sade cds

Sade is such a good singer that she has a band named after her — granted, it is her band, but still! Pretty impressive, I’d say!

Experimenting with soul and smooth jazz sounds, Sade became a hit with the band’s debut album “Diamond Life” in 1984.

Hits such as “Paradise” and “Smooth Operator” Showcased Sade’s talents and versatility within her music.

She also had time to make tunes about having Ice Cream for breakfast —

  • Is It a Crime
  • The Sweetest Taboo
  • Never as Good as the First Time

I’m with you, Sade! Ice Cream for the win!

  • Top Song — Smooth Operator
  • Favourite Song — Paradise
  • Best Album — Diamond Life
  • Most Underrated Track — Hang on to Your Love

5. PJ Harvey

Throwback to when PJ was busy, so a pigeon performed in her place — Photo: DIY Mag

Punky PJ always sets the tone for alternative rebellious somber melodies! In other words, she’s pretty cool but slightly depressing. Depressing in a good way, though…you know what I mean!

Harvey’s sound ranges from Alternative Rock to Folk Rock. So basically, from Gothic Supervillain to Irish farmer. If that’s not a musical range to be desired, then I don’t know what is.

A diverse artist with soft songs turned heavy such as “Rub ’Til It Bleeds, Harvey really knows how to flick the switch and get you out of your seat headbanging until you’ve got whiplash.

She can, however, show her softer side in tracks like “Horses In My Dreams.” PJ is a true definition of an artist. As well as an advocate of dreaming about animals. Great stuff!

  • Top Song — This Mess We’re In
  • Favourite Song — Rub ’Til It Bleeds
  • Best Album — Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea
  • Most Underrated Track — When Under Ether

4. Beyoncé

When the invite says “Smart-Casual” — Photo: Digital Spy

I must take my hat off to B. She’s put up with a lot in her career, but the most impressive might be putting up with her husband Jay Z’s tourettes:

“J’yeah”

“Hove!”

“Brooklyn!”

My word! What a woman!

Of course, Beyoncé is not in her husband’s shadow. Far from it!

She is one of the most successful female artists arguably ever. She has some of the biggest hits of the Noughties and the 10s (whatever you call that decade?)

Miss Knowles has undoubtedly conquered the music industry.

One of her biggest hits may include the best dance move ever. “Single Ladies” brings with it a dance performed by B where it looks like she’s trying to lift her car handbrake up and down very angrily.

Single Ladies was a very popular anthem for divorced women in their 40s who always want to speak to the manager at the local supermarket.

That, and that alone, might be Knowles’s greatest legacy.

  • Top Song — Halo
  • Favourite Song — Crazy In Love (Ft. Jay Z)
  • Best Album — Dangerously In Love
  • Most Underrated Track — APESHIT (The Carters)

3. Rihanna

When you see your date has ditched you for a hot dog— Photo: Pinterest

Where to start with Riri?

Her albums “Music of the Sun” and “A Girl Like Me” got people noticing, but her 2007 collection of absolute bangers “Good Girl Gone Bad” really launched Rihanna to stardom.

An innocent song about umbrellas and keeping dry in poor weather conditions was an absolute hit! The album also included “Shut Up And Drive” and “Rehab,” which I usually say to my mother as she shoves me into the car after I relapse on Kit Kats again.

The success didn’t stop there. Rihanna continued to dominate the charts. 2009 and 2010 brought us “Te Amo,” “Rude Boy,” and “Only Girl (In The World).”

Since 2012, “Diamonds” and the Drake/Chris Brown feud, it’s been a bit quiet. Let’s hope she brings out more of the same iconic music soon because she has undoubted musical talent in abundance.

  • Top Song — Umbrella
  • Favourite Song — Pon de Replay
  • Best Album — Good Girl Gone Bad
  • Most Underrated Track — Rehab

2. Madonna

When you’re cleaning your room and start finding loads of random crap — Photo: Madonna — Bing

You’d be lucky to find a more talented female artist than Madonna. Even if she is bat-shit crazy.

A four-decade career, the Queen of Vogue started in the 80s with hit tracks like “Holiday” and Like a Virgin.”

The ever-adaptable Madonna adopted the sounds of the nineties, noughties, and the tens — (seriously though, what is this decade called?) — like an African child.

Delving into the modern, songs like “4 Minutes” featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland made people sit up and remember that she was here to stay.

Not only were her songs huge successes with incredible production behind the lyrics, but Madonna has also always been an exhilarating performer — ask Drake!

Rihanna was round to Madonna’s house with a baseball bat after she kissed the Toronto rapper live on stage.

Her appearance has always chopped and changed to match her ever-changing musical experimentation. She knows what the people want, even when they don’t know what they want. The music industry has always been about adaptability if you want a long career — and that’s exactly what Madonna has done.

She may look a bit like a Game of Thrones extra these days, but that just means we’re in store for some great medieval Madonna music!

  • Top Song — Material Girl
  • Favourite Song — Holiday
  • Best Album — Like A Virgin
  • Most Underrated Track — Hollywood

1. Britney Spears

When you find a snake and need to sneeze at the same time — Photo: Kevin Mazur/Wire Image

It’s Britney bitch!

Apparently, this isn’t the best way to start off a funeral speech — but it’s iconic! Just like the woman herself!

Queen of the noughties Britney brought us undoubted classics in “Gimme More,” “One More Time,” and the water pollution anthem “Toxic.”

Another classic also reminds me of when I get blackout drunk and fall asleep in the bathtub clutching the cat. I’m, of course, talking about “Oops! I Did It Again.”

Spears has been through torture since her initial fame but has seemingly come out the other side. Despite the problems in her personal life, she has given us truly iconic hits that generations will be blasting on their phonographs or whatever young people listen to music on these days.

Britney owned the charts and will go down as one of the greatest female artists of all time!

She is also the first female musician to hold a snake whilst sneezing and singing simultaneously. A true talent of the ages.

  • Top Song — Toxic
  • Favourite Song — Toxic
  • Best Album — Circus
  • Most Underrated Track — Circus

It’s Not Over ‘Till The Big Boned Lady Sings

When you haven’t quite got the hang of the guitar yet…-Photo: Te NGuyen on Unsplash

That’s your lot, my friends!

I hope you all enjoyed it and, if nothing else, you’ve found some great music to kick back and listen to from some of the best women in the game!

It was hard to pick just eight…there’s so much amazing female talent out there!

Happy listening! :)

Did you enjoy that adequate article with some mediocre jokes thrown in for good measure?

Yes?

Hooray! Luckily for you…there’s more of that below! ❤

Music
Female
Comedy
Humor
The Riff
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