8 Millennial-isms I Just Can’t Understand

A View of My Kids' Generation Through a Middle-Aged Lens

Let me start by saying: I’m NOT a boomer. Not that I have anything against them, I just felt it necessary to preface with that fact since it’s what my kids like to call me each time I make mention of any millennial-ism.

I’m just one generation below — a Gen-Xer if I absolutely have to label myself. The one known as the “latch-key” generation because most of us were left home alone and to our own devices at a young age while both our parents worked. We’re also known as the laid back generation that never seemed particularly worried about much other than when and where to have fun.

We coveted Molly Ringwald’s red hair and had secret crushes on Anthony Michael Hall and Judd Nelson. We lived by Duran Duran, The Cure and Saint Elmo’s Fire. I also had an unhealthy infatuation with Michael J. Fox.

I hope I didn’t lose most of you there.

We basically raised ourselves, smoked a lot of pot, ate horrible food, laughed hysterically and eventually had to get jobs.

We had it made. Not having very many expectations placed upon us left us with little pressure compared to the subsequent generations. Dare I use my grandparent’s words — Life was simpler back in my day.

That was my memory of it at least.

As a mom with four children between the ages of 19 and 29, I’ve lived long enough to have witnessed the generational differences. I’ve given my fair share of raised eyebrows (and the expression of that little blonde girl in the back seat of the car meme) over the issues and pressures of Millennials and Gen-Zers. Here are a few that i have found difficult to accept, and frankly, just make me want to light one up:

1. Craft Beer

I have to say I’ve tried really hard on this one. Craft beer breweries and growler stores have popped up all over the place the last few years. You’re hard-pressed to find a city in the United States that doesn’t have their own brewery. My oldest daughter and her friends love it, and usually order those long samplers.

I’m all for creativity and entrepreneurship, but there are only so many ways that you can make beer taste like shit.

I always feel guilty each time I’m seated at one of these fine establishments and they proudly hand me this vast menu of all their personally crafted brews. I just want a Bud Light. Please don’t spit in my food.

2. Self Improvement

Now, please don’t get me wrong on this one. I find nothing wrong with a person wanting to better themselves. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we improve. But holy shit. I’ve witnessed my kids suffer needlessly over not being good enough.

Yes, we should strive to be good people, but we also need to recognize and accept our limitations and adjust accordingly. If you never get to a point of accepting who you are, you’re doomed for a life of always thinking you must do better.

The peace with who I am came when i finally said: this is me, this is what i do, this is what i’m good at, this is what i’m not good at. I’ll accept your strengths and weaknesses, and you accept mine. We’ll meet in the middle. Let’s hang out and enjoy this life.

3. Re-Parenting

Wait. What? Damn.

I was never mother-of-the-year, but was I really that bad when you feel you have to parent yourself over again? Especially when you’ve had no parenting experience to begin with. How do you expect to do a better job? Insert blonde little girl meme here.

I knew when I started having kids that there were ways my parents raised me that i didn’t want to duplicate with my own. I may not have agreed with many of their decisions, but those methods and experiences still molded me into who I am today.

Parenting isn’t easy, and frankly, I’m thankful they kept me alive. I didn’t do as good of a job with my own.

4. Marijuana in EVERYTHING

I believe we’ve established that I’m an advocate for pot. Especially now in my older years that the stigma has shifted in our favor and, being my age, i can get away with it quite well. But again, is it necessary to have it in everything from clothing to food? There’s even a whole channel dedicated to it. Soon, we’ll be making houses out of THC infused lumber. Of course, the best way to enjoy that would be to set it on fire. I’ll rethink that one.

A couple weeks ago I was sitting outside with my neighbor and was offered some candy. It was the seemingly innocuous brand of Nerds that I have loved since I was a kid. After I poured the colorful little balls into my hand, my daughter screamed and stopped me just as I lifted my cupped hand to toss them into my mouth.

Edibles.

Even the big candy companies have jumped on the Weed Wagon. What happened to plain ole “puff-puff-pass"? Each time my kids offer me something sweet to eat now, I’m suspicious. That’s a sucky way to live considering how much I love chocolate.

5. Disorders

Bear with me on this one. I acknowledge the truth that there are many people out there with legit mental disorders and illnesses. I believe in chemical imbalances and the benefits of therapy. My beef with this one is that it seems to have gotten out of hand. My oldest daughter is just like me on so many levels, and swears she has a disorder or mental illness each time she experiences extreme emotions. What happened to just being very emotional and reacting normally to stressful life situations?

Considering the meaning of disorder — to be out of order — it has begun to feel like those that don’t have a diagnosis of some disorder, are the ones who are now, out of order. I’ve personally known people who would rather be diagnosed with any disorder and given medication, than have to go through the trouble of changing their situation. In other words…many people who don’t want to do the work, are milking it.

Both my sons were diagnosed with ADHD. I never saw this as a disorder. I believed this was their specific set of personality traits (and yes, being hyper young boys) and i didn’t want them to go about life using the diagnosis as an excuse for their poor decisions (which they tried on several occasions). They learned to make adjustments to get through societies expectations and the gruesome one-size-fits-all mentality.

I’m treading very lightly with this one, because i may be one of the very few with a Disorder disorder. Please don’t bash me.

6. Being Seen

I do enjoy many aspects of social media as much as the next generation. I’ve been guilty of sacrificing being in the moment for the desire to have my people know exactly how awesome my Mai Tai looks while on vacation. Sometimes I need for others to know that i really do have friends and i’m not the recluse that my family thinks i am. At least not this week.

Some people make their living off of throwing their entire life out there for the world to see and more power to them. Being an influencer is a lifestyle that some of us “older” generations could have never conceived.

One of my issues with this one is you actually do have to give up just enjoying life for what it is. You may lose out on a moment that is so fleeting, you miss most of it while you’re fumbling to locate your phone in your purse to capture it. Your grandmother is trying her hand at twerking at your holiday family gathering, but you’re so preoccupied with catching the perfect angle through the lens of the camera that she’s done by the time you get it in focus. You just missed out on the perfect opportunity to wet your pants with hysterical laughter like us older people do.

Put your damn phone down.

Another issue is that most people don’t need or want to know every tiny little aspect of your life. I honestly don’t care about what you had for brunch on Sunday, what your kid wore on the first day of school, how cute you think that shot of your and your boyfriend’s feet are together while sitting by the pool, and i certainly don’t care (and probably shouldn’t really know) about your political opinion on a certain subject because your expressing it is most likely not going to change anyone else’s.

7. Being Constantly Productive

You had a perfectly beautiful and relaxing couple of hours lounging on the couch with a good book. You may have spent another hour or so outside on the porch with a glass of wine or a beer, just watching the neighbors buzz around or the birds and animals do their nature dance in the back yard. Basically, you didn’t do jack shit all day and now you’re feeling guilty about it.

You should have accomplished something on your day off. It was totally wasted.

Hardly. You were doing the most important step necessary to doing something— resting.

Rest and contemplation are necessary. Creativity is birthed from stillness and a mind free to explore.

I’ve not understood why so many Millennials feel that their life’s worth is measured by how productive they can manage to be. I’ve read countless articles by authors of this generation giving advice on how to be more productive and that the only path to success is to constantly stay busy and focused. I’m not dogging being focused, but i guess this depends on what being successful in life means to you.

If your main goal is to be happy and enjoy the few short years you have on this planet, than constant busy-ness is not the answer. What I’ve come to learn is that while you’re rushing around trying accomplish tasks to check off your to-do list so you can have a better life, you’ll come to a point where you realize you’ve missed the best parts about it.

There is no destination in life. Its all about the journey. Trust me. I hit the mid-point and am now at the rest stop where i can look back and see what i missed during the first half and refuel.

Slow down and enjoy the ride while you can and take a few beers for the road. You’ll inspire more people with the happiness you exude than with the amount of money you’ve made or how extensive your lists of accomplishments are.

8. Needing to Change the World

Poor souls. I hate that there is so much pressure on Millennials to make their mark on the world.

I’ve watched my oldest daughter struggle with finding her purpose and passion in life. She felt if she didn’t, her life would be meaningless. She hated attending family gatherings because she knew the older adults would ask her about her plans for the future and it caused so much anxiety that she began isolating herself. She felt like a failure because she had yet to pick that one thing that she could announce to the world she was going to be.

She didn’t have a dream.

For some, knowing what you want to do with your life is an early realization. For others, it’s chosen for them. But for the majority, expecting someone to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives as soon as they’re done with the first 1/5 of it, is unrealistic.

How can you know what you want if you haven’t had enough time to learn what was on the menu?

If you never write a book or start a movement in your lifetime, it doesn’t mean your life didn’t have an impact. That intimate conversation you had with a friend in college could have been the inspiration they needed to do something grand, and it never would have happened without you.

I will never claim that one generation is better than another. Each will have something special to teach the next if we’re willing to listen.

Last month while I was driving my father in law to the grocery store, he stated out of the blue:

“One thing I’ve learned in my 81 years, is that life isn’t as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. It’s rather simple and very short. We should all just enjoy it”.

I’ll enjoy it with a Bud Light, thank you.