avatarKyrie Gray

Summary

Throughout history, women have resorted to a variety of dangerous, uncomfortable, and often ineffective birth control methods, from inserting lemons to using weasel testicles as amulets, reflecting the lengths to which they had to go before the advent of modern contraception.

Abstract

The article "8 Awful Methods of Birth Control Women Put Up With Throughout History" provides a humorous yet informative look at the extreme measures women historically took to prevent pregnancy. These methods range from the potentially harmful use of mercury and crocodile dung to the less dangerous but still questionable practices like steaming the womb or using a sponge soaked in vinegar. The piece underscores the discomfort and risks associated with these historical practices, contrasting them with the relative safety and efficacy of modern birth control options. It also touches on the cultural and societal influences that led to such drastic measures, including the lack of scientific understanding and the stigma surrounding women's reproductive health.

Opinions

  • The author implies that modern birth control methods are preferable to historical ones, emphasizing the safety and effectiveness of current options.
  • There is a suggestion that historical birth control methods were often based on superstition or misinformation, as seen with the use of weasel balls and steaming the womb.
  • The article conveys a sense of irony and disbelief at some of the past practices, such as using a piece of wood as a contraceptive device.
  • The author seems to appreciate the determination and creativity of women in history who sought to control their fertility despite the lack of safe and reliable options.
  • There is an underlying critique of the societal pressures and lack of knowledge that forced women to resort to such extreme and often harmful methods of birth control.

8 Awful Methods of Birth Control Women Put Up With Throughout History

Ask your local crone if weasel balls are right for you

Image source altered by author

In these modern times we’re lucky to have relatively easy access to safe and effective birth control. When that ease of access is threatened, I think many of us see how much we’ve taken it for granted. Not just the access, but the safety of the products that help us not get pregnant. It might be annoying to remember to take that pill, or perhaps your hormones didn’t react well to the first IUD.

Yet if these, or any modern options, work for your body, then consider yourself lucky. Because throughout history women avoided pregnancy in ways that most of us would shudder at today.

A lemon

Popular lore, which can’t always be trusted but is nonetheless interesting, suggests that the famous philanderer, Casanova, requested that the women he bedded shove a lemon up their nether regions so that they might avoid pregnancy.

Whether the acid killed all of the sperm is debatable, but it certainly must have killed the mood. No matter how good one’s lover is, being stuffed like a turkey getting prepped for dinner couldn’t have felt very good either physically or mentally.

Images by author

Some mercury

Long ago in China someone, probably a wellness influencer, convinced everyone that the new wonder element, mercury, could do it all. It could cure your illness. It couldn’t grant you eternal life. And, most importantly, it could stop the womb from producing kids when you didn’t want them. I suppose technically that person was right. One couldn’t produce children if they died of mercury poisoning first.

Weasel balls

If you’ve been in a team meeting someone has probably said, “There are no bad ideas.” It’s a silly cliché now. But in the Middle Ages it was a way of life. That’s how people back then seemed to come up with their ideas for medicines.

One method of birth control from this school of let’s-just-try-it-and-see” was to make an amulet out of weasel balls to ward off pregnancy. I tend to believe this worked if only because men would flee at the sight of women wearing these weasel balls. So a success, when you think about it.

A sponge soaked in vinegar

This one actually does make some sense. At least the sponge would absorb some of the man’s sperm so the chances of getting impregnated were (slightly) lower. The vinegar would also create a hostile environment.

Yet things will get through a sponge, so this obviously was not a perfect method. Not adequately cleaning the sponge also meant it could become a playground for bacteria. Women who used this method might end up caring more for UTIs than unwanted kids. Be careful what you wish for.

A stupid, dumb piece of wood

It’s a simple method of birth control. Stick a healthy-sized piece of wood up your vagina. The person who suggested it probably believed it would block that semen. I can’t imagine that it worked. I also can’t imagine how painful it is to get splinters out of one’s cervix.

Steaming your womb

In India and other parts of the world, some believed that one could put herbs and other tinctures into hot water and use the steam to destroy the sperm or dissuade the baby from taking residence in the womb. I’m a fan of this method since it would probably does the least harm, to humans and weasels, on this list. It is also probably one of the least-effective. Is this what they mean when they say women can’t have it all?

Take a plant, any plant really (at least once anyway) and grind away

Before modern medicine, people trusted what came from the Earth. Some plants, like the silphium, were so good at preventing pregnancy that it literally went extinct from overuse. Yep, those ancient Mediterraneans liked sex and family planning so much they killed off a whole plant. Talk about dedication.

Still, people from across the world would grind down herbs to ingest or insert, sometimes to a detrimental effect, in an effort to prevent pregnancy. Mother Nature often provides ways to prevent motherhood, however she will also kill you if you eat the wrong leaf.

Crocodile poop

In ancient Egypt, women were given instructions for how to make a poultice from crocodile dung if they didn’t want to conceive a child. How they got the alligator dung was up to them. There are no instructions on that. One must be very daring or very horny to even try this method.

More by this author:

Humor
History
Women
Womens Health
Birth Control
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